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As requested :)
"Oh you guys are really getting married?" SIX MONTHS after we got engaged.
My MIL on meeting my mom for the first time:
"I promise I'll behave myself, I won't get drunk, use foul language or flash my boobs".
I only sorta think she's joking. We get along really well, but she has humor like no other.....
honestly, I cant think of anything FMIL has said to me or about me.
I'm grabbing some popcorn -- I have a feeling the responses to this post are going to be awesome.
"Who ends their wedding at midnight? That reception will be boring so I'm going to throw an after party." This was referring to our wedding and we were not invited to the after party (wouldn't have gone if you could have paid me anyways).
My grandma joked at the rehearsal to just do it then. MIL said "NOOOOO! I can't lose him a day earlier than I already have to."
"You don't want to go dress shopping too early because you'll gain weight." And what did I do? I lost weight.
Screaming at me: "You're approving of cheating. You're approving of CHEATING!!" This was in regards to giving FIL's wife a corsage, who was yes, the other woman 20 years ago. However MIL is the other woman as well and has been for quiet some time. Not only that but she wasn't faithful either.
@SoontobeMrsA: haha. there will be hell to pay if she doesn't keep her promise.
I also let her borrow my disc of engagement photos, because she wanted to print a few for my Fiance's grandmother.
I got an email from her the next day asking me "uh... Sheena... so like, what would it cost for a new disc".
She pretended for a whole day that she had destroyed my engagement disc.
FMIL to FI: Why are you looking at house in Blank Town?
Me: That's where my daughter goes to school.
FMIL: Oh are you moving with him?
My FMIL and I were having a discussion about a low-cut dress and not revealing the "ladies" to our guests.
FMIL: "You can just use booby-tape. (insert my FI name here) used to date a cheerleader. She used it all the time"
ME: (awkward silence)
Why do I care what my FI's high school girlfriend did to hold in her boobs? A simple suggestion of the tape would have sufficed.
@lilmiss26: wicked awkward!
@PitBulLover: Well then how could she bring the tulle?
Not FMIL but here are a few choice words from Future Grandma in Law...
"Aren't you the least bit upset that you're going to spend eternity in hell?"
"You're a nice girl, too bad you're Satan's Bell Keeper"
*Both of these comments are in reference to me being Catholic.
"There are a few more people I'd like to invite that you didn't have on your list, so I'm just going to take my invitation and have it copied so I can send them something."
Uh, no, you're not. 1) If the quality on your copies sucks, that's going to be a poor reflection on my parents, who are hosting this wedding, and 2) we're having a small 50 person "close friends and family only" wedding and we would have no room for these extra people who we don't know and don't want there in the first place!!!
Thankfully FI made her see reason...
My MIL is fabulous and has never said anything snarky to me. Matter of fact, she's helped me a lot. Even if I think her advice is crazy (ie: cabbage leaves on the boobs when your nursing? What?) she's usually on target! (tried it and yeah - the cabbage leaves really do work! Thanks Mom!)
I'll be munching on popcorn and thanking God that I have a fantastic MIL while reading about everyone else's MILs!
My FMIL is bossy, and so am I. We haven't really gotten truly angry at eachother over anything, I just tell her what I'm doing without asking if she approves. Example:
FMIL: When's your date?
Me: October 9,2011
FMIL: you can't. thats thanksgiving.
Me: Yes, yes we can. insert hopeful cheesy grin here
FMIL: NO
Me: umm, yes. YES. It's already booked.
this is the conversation we have over everything. You could hear her jaw drop miles away when I told her we weren't even going to do a turkey dinner, even though its thanksgiving. She literally thinks I'm trying to steal thanksgiving away from her, as she told me I would NEVER cook thanksgiving or christmas unless she was dead. I don't care that it's thanksgiving, but thats when I get the best deal because it's the off season!!!
@panterapeach: I'm with you. I have a really good relationship with my MIL.
Microwave or air popped?
@June42011 That is Crazy! and funny
Me: I decided to pick dress #2 for the wedding
FMIl: Oh thank goodness, I hated dress #1
Me: (Awkward silence) um well I bought a short version of #1 to wear to the reheasal dinner because I loved it so much
"Guests EXPECT an open bar" Me: Really, you know all of my family and friends that well?
"Why can't I have a medley of songs for mother son dance, it is a dance with MY son and I get to choose!" No, you don't, I get the final say. And "momma told me not to come" and "better shop around" is never going to get my approval. Even if you think it's funny. It's not funny to me!
"Khaki suits are not appropriate for a wedding!"
NWR... "My one wish in life is to have a grand daughter named after me."
Anything that starts with... "Well when I got married..."
"Why is your family trying to steal my family? They are mine." Refering to the fact that all of her children like my parents. Strange jealousy issues. I answered back "Our families are coming together. That's the whole point of this." and she replied. "They may like yours better, but they have to love me"
Haha!! these are too funny. I have nothing to add.
In response to an email I sent her, in which I apologized for not returning her call the night before:
"That’s all right, I thrive on rejection, lol."
Lol, my ass.
@francypants: hahaha ok so I just laughed out loud alone in my office.
My FSIL to FiI "Do people ask you a lot if she's your daughter?"
@EmeraldR: Cabbage leaves are used to treat sore breasts during pregnancy/nursing. Never tried it myself because I dont have kids but I have a friend that is a midwife and she gives it the thumbs up.
Sorry I dont have anything to contribute to the topic. My MIL is pretty cool!
ya im wondering the cabbage thing also.... MY FMIL wants to do the stupid chicken dance "because every wedding has a silly dance" umm no they dont have to im just starting this wedding process so im sure ill have some to add as time goes on!
FMIL: I will NOT have catholic grandchildren. because i am catholic and my fiance is Baptist
FMIL to the Best man " Can you please take him to a club a strip club a party somewhere where he can find someone to get away from her. referring to me ... isnt that lovely,
I used to refer to her as Monster in Law :)
@nnoto: Yes, because I'm that environment is so much better for him.
Luckily, my FMIL and I have a really good relationship. One that is stronger than mine and my mom's. I could think of some snarky comments my mom has made throughout my relationship.
OMG these are awful and funny at the same time! Lol
My EX MIL:
"Well, I thought you could really use one since the rug never looks clean" *as I'm opening her super fantasitc gift to me of a vacuum for Xmas*
Me:
"Oh, you should have given it to your son, then, vacuuming is HIS job"
Bisnatch!
My fMIl is awesome but I HATE
FMIL: Get married already! Don't you want a baby?
Me: No, but what's the rush? There's always a ton of babies at the mall that I could grab when no one's looking...:O
FMiL to FW when she told her about our relationship: "I never raised you that way. Did your father do something to you when you were young?" (FMiL is still with FW's dad too...)
Every time she introduces me: "This is FW's FRIEND." She really emphasizes the word friend, and I always have to correct her with fiance. We've been together for over 5 years and have been engaged for over a year now...
My FSiL had the most insulting conversation with my FW about how one day I may choose the only true religion (hers) over my FW. I actually go to church and have a lot of faith. I was also asked point blank by my FMiL if I was (insert her religion here), and then she proceeded to lecture me when I told her I wasn't. Religion is very personal to me, and I can't believe how judgmental these people are. I just have no idea how to respond to them sometimes.
mine isnt a not what to say but its not what to do.
the very first time i met the woman i was going thru my vegan mother earth phase and we were bonding in the garden over the fig trees (my family italian, his greek) and we were making polite conversation about the figs and protecting them from the birds and she says "you know what i do?" and then proceeded to pick up a 2x4 and racing from tree to tree wacking the birds in the trees with the piece of wood, trying to kill them while i was trying not to scream at the woman
I am sure I could add a mile long list. Let's start witht he freshes comment though.
ME and FH: FBIL can't bring the girl he has been dating for a week. We don't have enough room and it is across the country.
FMIL(Almost in tears): Well I will give up my seat for her.
Then I have heard over and over about money and how our wedding is at an inconvient time and how much it is costing them to travel and and and and and.
I will have to add more later. I need to run to get my son from Basketball practice
Oh my. My FMIL is fine, but FFIL has alienated everyone from him. Here are a few highlights:
"You know what your problem is? You need exercise."
"Oh, I thought you made breakfast. If you weren't going to cook, I would not have gotten up." - when I stayed AS A GUEST at his dad's house
"Spending that much on a wedding is ASSININE."
He doesn't know we're marrying in Hawaii yet (and with maybe 40 people). We're not telling him until it's booked. WWIII.
:/ He doesn't like my FBIL's wife either. He is racist (she is asian) and constantly 'forgets' she has graduated and has a doctorate.
He probably doesn't like me because I'm white, but so far no one has admitted to that. :-)
MIL: Are you pregnant yet?
Me: No, but we have a plan.
MIL: Well, you better hurry. You certainly aren't getting any younger. And you know how hard it is going to be to lose that weight.
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