Think before posting

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@EmilyInIdaho:  I agree.  There is also a lot of not actually reading the whole post before posting nasty comments as well.

Read it, and re-read it if you have to please, before tearing someone a new one about something you didn’t understand.

Post # 4
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@EmilyInIdaho:  If you feel that a response is  inappropriate, flag it to bring it to the attention of the moderators.

Fortunately, these responses are by far the minority.

Post # 5
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

On a public forum you have to expect the good with the bad. I think a lot of times people post things but aren’t prepared to get the truth or a non-sugar coated response.

Post # 6
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

A lot of times the OP asks for opinions and advice. They will probably not always hear what they want to hear. That’s what happens when you ask!

Post # 7
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I second the motion!

I don’t think it’s about whether someone sugar-coats or not… I think it’s the overall tone.

It doesn’t take too much effort to be respectful and not outright insult or attack anyone, especially on the internet.
Maybe the problem is that it doesn’t take much effort to be rude and disrespectful, either. :/

I try not to sugar-coat anything (it’s just how I roll), but I also try to be respectful toward the OP and to the fact that we just can’t know all the details – we are but strangers.

Post # 8
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you see a post that you feel violates the forum’s TOS, feel free to flag it and let a moderator take care of it.

However, too often people post here only looking for other people to agree with them. This is a public forum, and the responses you get may not all be sunshine and butterflies. Just because someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t make them “mean” or disrespectful.

Especially compared to other forums, I find the vast majority of posters here to be friendly and helpful, sometimes to a point where their posts actually become not helpful. You can’t police the internet — the moderators are here for that.

Post # 9
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@CakeyP:  I agree with this. It’s all about tone.

 

I could say “Bitch, you’re dumb. Get out of there before he kills you” in response to an abusive relationship.

 

Or I could use some tact and say “you’re in a very hostile environment and would benefit from getting out as soon as possible.”

 

Same thing, all about tone. I dont’ agree with this community being all sunshine and rainbows. It generally is, but when people talk about serious subjects, I am going to speak my mind and my opinion is not always welcome. However if you put yourself out there, you are opening yourself up for criticism and opinions you might not like. It is your job to have thick skin online to handle the things you don’t agree with. It’s my job to come in and post politely, even if my opinion isn’t popular.

 

It’s all about how you say it. I welcome criticism but not from people who yell and scream.

Post # 10
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yep, I couldn’t agree more! It’s one thing to give an honest opinion that provides constructive criticism for the betterment of the OP. It’s another thing to be so completely biased with your opinion and shove it down the OPs throat in a meaningless manner that it is offensive and unnecessary. Flag away!!

Post # 11
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think there’s a major difference between sugar-coating something and just being rude for the sake of it.

If people are looking for advice, I will give advice, even if it’s not what they want to hear. I’m not going to blow sunshine up someone’s butt if I think they’re doing something self destructive.

If someone posts engagement photos and is super happy with them but I think that they’re really cheesy, I’m not going to say it. If someone asks for opinions on a wedding dress they’re considering buying, however, I will be honest (but tactful).

Post # 12
Member
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

 

 

Post # 13
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think way too many people say they don’t like sugar-coating or they “tell it like it is” when really, they’re just being rude and that’s their excuse for being an asshole. These people are everywhere unfortunately and the best thing you can do is just shake your head and ignore them, they’re rarely truly happy and sanctimony gets them nowhere.

I agree OP – I try to remember before posting that there is a real person who made the post and regardless of the situation, they still deserve respect and there’s no point in being rude. It doesn’t enhance your life to be rude to someone (if it does, that’s scary) so why bother?!

I will give honest opinions if my opinion is asked but I won’t be rude about it.

 

Post # 15
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@EmilyInIdaho:  I agree but not everyone has that kind of personality.  I have learned not to start a thread that could become heated and debated.  I don’t start threads asking for opinions because I know it’ll come with negative ones.  I only post if I have positive feedback.  If I don’t like a picture or a comment, I ignore the thread.  I’ve also learned which users are more geared towards the negative and harshness, so I stay away from their posts for the most part.  Just be aware of what you are post; someone is bound to tear it apart.

Post # 16
Member
6506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think the problem here is mainly tone. When you are reading something you have no idea what kind of tone the person writing it is using. I always try to look at it on the best possible light.

I see more people asking for an opinion and then arguing with people who disagree than I actually see mean posts towards the OP.

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