- 8 years ago
About 10 years ago, my FI had a huge gambling problem in college, ruined his credit and still has a considerable debt from what happened. I’ve been dating him now for over 5 years. He would always call in from his phone to check sports scores and I never thought anything of it. Same thing when I moved in w/ him 3 years ago – the computer is always open to this one page on espn.com that has all the scores on it. He’s tracking the games to see how much he’s winning or losing by. I’m talking EVERY night and as soon as his eyes pop open in the morning.
I did some “digging” and found out that through his web “history” that he goes on betting web sites to place bets and that he has a bookie. When I approached him about this, he told me it wasn’t anything to worry about and that he wasn’t betting large amounts of money and *get this* he could never really lose anything because he would never drop below the money that he had in this so called gambling account. He got so angry with me for bringing it up and snooping that he then locked and password protected his laptop from me so I can no longer see what’s going on.
He is constantly complaining about how he has no money (I’m paying for our wedding) but yet, I never really see him spend any money on anything. Right now I am sick to my stomach because I think he gambled away the money his mother gave him for our honeymoon. He said he took the 5k and put it in his investment account but that he thinks he lost the money because the stock market did really poorly.
This leads me to believe he is still gambling. We are set to get married in 29 days. I am an emotional wreck and really don’t feel like hearing that this is a red flag, don’t marry him etc. I just have no one else to tell because I’m so ashamed that I have to a) support him and that b) he’s stupid enough to throw all our money away. I know that marriage also entails entering into a financial contract/agreement. But I am just not sure I trust him when he tells me he isn’t gambling any more.