Post # 1
My Fiance and I are in a tough situation at the moment. (Basically, living at our parents houses while we save for a house because we can’t afford to rent a place together on our incomes and only then will we be able to save for a wedding!)
Anyway, FI and I have been toying for a while about a destination wedding with just immediate family. Planning a wedding in our home country (UK) would be soooo stressful. I have a huge family and I don’t want to upset anyone by not being able to afford to invite certain people etc. etc. I also believe that a wedding should be about celebrating your love for your future spouse with those who matter. Having a Destination Wedding would be perfect for that and we would also be able to thank them all for thier support by putting money towards thier costs for attending the wedding.
I was wondering if anyone could give some advice on what is involved with planning a Destination Wedding, what the costs are, etiquette with regards to who pays for what and how you put your idea across to family.
Any advice at all would be greatly received.
Post # 3
I was thinking about going this route. However, most of our close family that we REALLY wanted to be there wouldn’t be able to come. We couldn’t afford a wedding in our hometown so we looked out a little further (about 2 hrs away) into another town and decided to have the wedding there. But before we found that place I had found this:
If our family would have been able to afford to go there, we would have had the wedding there. What about a wedding cruise? I’m sure about your budget but these are pretty reasonable prices. Had I found this before I booked my venue I would have had my wedding here:
Post # 4
We had a Destination Wedding and paid for all of our guests expenses butin general the bride and groom are not expected to pay towards the costs of guests attending but it is really nice if you can do so.
I actually found it pretty easy to organise my Destination Wedding but a lot of stuff was done on blind faith given that we couldn’t afford a planning trip both financially and time (vacation) wise.
Have you thought of any locations yet?
Post # 5
We were thinking of a European destination or a cruise. With a cruise, it would be about the costs for our families. There would be around 17 of us in our party, (13 adults and 4 children) so cost would be an issue I think.
Post # 6
We got married in Mexico with only nine guests. It was a pretty low-key wedding – had the ceremony at a gazebo on the beach then had a “semi-private” reception at one of the resort restaurants.
Just the wedding aspects of the budget came to $4,000. However our 10-day trip/honeymoon was $4,000 and we paid for our parents’ trips, which was another $4,000 combined.
Post # 7
Like @lindseyl06: said- you need to do up a rough guest list and then decide if those people could afford and would want to go to your Destination Wedding. Because one of the things with a Destination Wedding is that not everyone will be eager to go no matter how close they are to you. You need to be prepared that some of your must have guests might not make the trip. Therefore it is good to have a list of non-negotiable guests- those guests that you have to have at your wedding and then ask them directly if it is something they will be able to do. If they say no then you may need to reconsider the location and whether a Destination Wedding is for you.
Post # 8
I think it is definately an option…. the more I think about it, the more I like it!
With regards to the guest list – the seventeen I said would be my absolute have to attend people. That includes my FIs parents and brother, my parents, my sister, my brother and my other two sisters with thier family.
Post # 9
@Lubylu89: We actually had a contract in our hands for a hotel in Mexico for us to have a Destination Wedding. At the last minute I got nervous and changed my mind. I have a huge family as well and that was a big factor in us trying to plan a Destination Wedding.
I agree, my whole thought was that the wedding is supposed to be about Fiance and I, I didnt want to have to worry about pleasing our 150+ guests (if we were to have a wedding in our hometown). In the end, we found a venue about 3 hours away from where we live and it ended up being like a semi-destination wedding. Our guest list has cut down to about 85-95 people because of the drive, which is OKAYYYY by me!
I do have to say, planning a wedding is stressful regardless. Just a forewarning that planning a Destination Wedding has a whollleeeeee other list of things you’ll have to deal with. People are very opinionated and don’t hold back (at least in my experience). FI’s brother gave us a really hard time which made me very stressed. Don’t let that affect you, if this is what you and your Fiance want, DO IT!
If you do go with the Destination Wedding route, try and find a venue/hotel or whatever that has someone dedicated to helping plan those weddings from a distance—nothing is as stressful as not knowing what’s going on with your wedding until you show up.
The time frame of things are also a little different—save the dates/invites have to be sent out way earlier.
I’m happy with our decision, but I would have LOVED to have had a Destination Wedding wedding as well.
Post # 10
One more thing—- before we had made a definite decision (as in telling all of our families), we made sure to talk to our parents and the wedding party we had in mind. We told them what we were wanting and wanted to make sure that those people that we absolutely wanted/needed to have there would be able to come and would have enough time to save up and plan for traveling. We just wanted to give everyone a heads up so that we wouldn’t blind side them.
Post # 11
Our Destination Wedding wedding is next month. I sent our brochures of our wedding info, resort, travel info, and more I made on vista print to everything 6 months before the wedding so everyone knew with all the details stating Invitations to come. Most that were coming booked before the invitations were sent out based on that information and so they got the discounted rooms and flights.
We paid for our mothers to go for 3 days (our fathers are not with us anymore). Once we found out who could make the wedding we ordered our guests a spa treatment at the resort, sarongs for all the girls, Reef flip flops with the bottle opener in them for the boys, and personalized travel mugs for each one with the island flag and our wedding date. The guests are paying their own way and stay. We request no gift be brought if they are able to come that is our gift.
Much of our family could not make it but this is my second wedding and we are in our late 30’s so that was ok for us. The one thing I had to get over was realizing our friends were staying almost as long as we were at the resort which is also our honeymoon spot which bugged me at first. I got over it after my Fiance booked us some one on one time at the resort like a private dinner on the beach which is sure to be without anyone we know and private.
Honeymoon for 6 nights 4200
Parents rooms for 3 mights together 4000
Spa treatment for the guest and wedding 3900
Gifts for the guest 1680
Of course this is everything wedding and reception in exception to my dresses, shoes, invitations, brochure and that kind of stuff.
Post # 12
Oh FYI: We only have 14 guests so we had more money for the gifts given it was so few.
Post # 13
I am having a destination wedding in Mexico next month. I wouldn’t change it for anything but I will say that people are very rude to the fact that we are having a destination wedding. My immediate family was not happy about it at all! We are having 17 people with us and we invited about 60. I am okay with that because I didn’t want a big thing but you will be surprised with people. Some that you think would defintely come will not. If it is something that you want then I wouldn’t let anyone change your mind and your family and friends will have to deal with it. We are having a reception at home (only to please my mother) so you could do a low key picnic or party to celebrate when you get back!!
With that said, our wedding package is $3,000 and we opted to get a photographer instead of using the one included in the package. That cost $1700. We are staying for a week which was about $3000 for the both of us (all inclusive.) You can obviously upgrade things in the package but we aren’t doing too much of that because it gets pricey. We are paying for our trip and for the wedding in Mexico. My parents are paying for the reception that we are having here because I didn’t want it and we don’t have the money for it. My fiance’s mother and stepfather are paying for the rehearsal and I think that they are pitching in for the reception back here.
I find it to be very stress free because the wedding coordinator at the resort handles everything. I can make my last minute decisions once I am down there. The most stressful thing for me was making sure I chose the right resort since I had to do that site unseen.
I’m sure whatever you choose to do will be amazing! Good luck 🙂
Post # 14
We are having a Destination Wedding in Italy, 20 guests.
Total wedding cost – officiant, wedding planner, food, music, flowers, cake, favors, hair & makeup, photographeretc etc cost about 9000£.
We are not paying for anyone’s flights/ hotels. We are giving everyone a welcome pack which will be waiting for them when they check in, also hosting a Gelato / Prosecco session afternoon before wedding day. These costs are also included in budget mentioned above.
What’s not included is wedding dress, shoes, his attire, our flights & hotel – these costs can always be kept down or adjust higher depending on yr own choice.
Hope that helps.
If you need more info – ie my budget sheet / pictures of what we’ve planned, drop me a note and I can mail that across.
Post # 15
@Destinationwedding101: Thank you, that would be a great help! 🙂 We won’t be planning it for a while yet, but when we do, that would be really good. I will DM you my e-mail.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor
What about a registry wedding, or semi-destination? Another city, or Scotland, Wales or even France?