- 9 years ago
- Wedding: September 2009
So all of my bridesmaids have been making me crazy lately, but one in particular has taken it to a whole new level, and I’m considering kicking her out of the wedding … I’m just so angry.
Before I say anything else, everyone keep in mind this BM has been my best friend for 24 years! If I didn’t have two sisters who made me MOH in their wedding I was considering making her MOH. Now am I ever glad I didn’t! First she complains about the price of flying to Colo (she’s in PA) and the price of the bridesmaid dress (she didn’t understand why she couldn’t just go pick whatever dress she wanted for cheap and try to match the color … Am I really that selfish for wanting my girls to match? I even offered to help her pay for the dress, so now it is really cheap for her. Finally she said with the money I gave her she could afford the dress and the flight, but if I went to go to AC or something for the bachelorette party she might not be able to come, and she couldnt afford shower or wedding gifts. I said that was fine… I just wanted her to be at my wedding, and I’ll understand if she can’t afford gifts or attending an extravagant bachelorette party. (Also, she’s a graphic designer with a full time job and pays only $300 a month rent so I know she has money.)
Then even after we talked, I couldn’t get her to put the downpayment on the dress. It was only $70 after the $40 I gave her (and I don’t even have a job). Then each of her paychecks would go by, and she’d say she had put away a couple hundred for my wedding so far and then I asked her to call in the payment and she’d be like "oh I had to pay utilities." Like you didn’t know you had to pay those? Or did you spend the money you "put away for my wedding" on something else? So paycheck after paycheck she pulled crap, then FINALLY she put the money down on the dress after I called her three times telling her she was holding up all the girls dresses and they wouldn’t be in on time if we didn’t order like yesterday.
So we finally get that worked out, and now comes bachelorette party. I asked my MOH to plan it for me in Philly, cause that’s where the BM in question lives, to make it as easy and cheap as possible for her to come. I also said no fancy dinners or drinks, beers and dogs are fine, so I’d know she could afford it. I called the BM with this happy news of what I had done just so that she could still make it to my bachelorette party without it costing her anything and she still says she’s not coming because "I agreed I wouldn’t give her a hard time if she couldn’t make it." I tried to explain that was only if it was going to end up costing money, I’d never expect her to not go just cause she CAN. What kind of bridesmaid doesn’t WANT to go to her best friend for 24 yrs wedding? Because it’s clearly not about money at this point. I try to talk to her about it and tell her how much its hurting me and she refuses to even discuss it. She says im being ridiculous.
Our relationship has been a little rocky lately, because we have both changed so much in 24 years we hardly have anything in common anymore, and hardly get along, except that I think we love eachother like sisters. She has admitted to being jealous that I’m getting married, but I don’t know whether to let her behavior slide for that reason or be more mad that my friend is so jealous she can’t even be the least bit happy for me, and will do anything she can to avoid any part of my wedding.
So what do I do? If I kick her out, I’m sure this is the end to a more than 2 decade long friendship.