Post # 1
so im thinking about not having any showers, a bachelorette party, an at home reception, just no gifts at all. we r having a destination wedding, and i just have a feeling everyone who hasnt already rsvp’d is just delaying the inevitable decline and hasnt sent their cards back yet. weve had 12 (parents and couple of cousins, an aunt, and one other aunt/uncle family) out of 65 rsvp and invites went out a couple of months ago. the deadline is end of aug, and i know, still plenty of time. but i just havent heard a wisp of a breath about any wedding related thing from anyone else who hasnt responded. and i know, i know, i cant expect everyone to be able to afford/drop everything for MY wedding that im choosing to have across the world. yeah, i get it.
but back to the point, i just feel like having wedding related parties for ppl to attend when it feels like no one gives a flip is just sad. i actually do kinda want those wedding traditional get-togethers, but at the same time, i dont have many friends, not close to most family, have no grandparents, i havent had any excitement over the wedding from ppl other than my mom and FMIL, and i actually feel my extended family has been ignoring me. we only invited immediate fam and aunts/uncles/cousins/kids and best friends to the wedding bec we wanted it be intimate, so i dont see where inviting everyone and their mama to a shower would be appropriate.
so since theres no bridal party, my fam lives in a different city, theyre prob not going to the wedding anyway, and i dont have many girlfriends, i might as well just not bother at all with showers or a bachellorette thingy or an at home reception or anything. and since i know the ppl who ARE coming to the DW r spending alot of money, i should just tell them their gift to us is attending. the only thing is that it makes me kinda sad to i cant have these traditional things.
anyone agree that i should just put the showers and parties and gifts out of my mind? FI and I have had a house for years already and we really dont need anything anyway. i dunno, im confused.
Post # 3
As a fellow DW bride, this is what we’ll do – two days before the wedding we’ll have an activity day. Basically, we’ll split up and then our friends/family can just pick whomever they want to spend their day with. White water rafting with FI or learn to bake traditional bread with me. At the end of the day, we’ll all meet up for dinner and wine. It’s not a traditional bachelor/bachelorette party – but it works nicely based on the circumstances. Perhaps you could do something similar while on site?
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
@eocenia: This is an awesome idea! I love baking-related activities; it creates many bonding opportunities.
@BeeG35: I’m in a similar situation, except that I’m perfectly fine with not receiving any gifts. FI and I have a house together. My mother originally had wanted to throw an at-home reception/casual dinner for guests who couldn’t go, but if she does, that’s her plan; not mine. She’s got every right to see our extended families and her friends since she’d be travelling over 10,000 kms to attend our wedding. I was actually secretly horrified that my FMIL was planning to throw me a shower — to which I had originally assumed it would be for FI’s brother’s fiancee.
My best-friend/MOH feels bad for not being able to throw a hens’ night (as she lives in another continent/country 15,000 kms away). Honestly though, I have never seen engagement/bridal showers/bachelorette parties to be traditional. I mean, as funny as it would be (imagining) receiving a dildo-shaped cake pan, I would dread the creativity required to decorate the cake to make it kid-friendly/clean.
FI and I have been telling people that their attendance is present enough — as they would have to pay for their own accomodation. 🙂
Post # 5
@Cynderbug: It also works nicely as it allows older guests, like my grandma, and people that can’t do anything highly active (like one of our guests that had a baby 2 months ago) to participate and learn something new!
& I so agree on the “Honestly though, I have never seen engagement/bridal showers/bachelorette parties to be traditional” part! We did the engagement party because it happened to be one of the things that was asked in the paperwork for me to apply for landed immigrant status – before that I had never heard of such a thing!