- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
To keep things manageable, I decided from the outset to just have my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor and my FIs 2 sisters as my bridemaids. He is having just his very oldest friend (practically a member of his family) as Best Man, and his 2 brothers as groomsmen. The problem is my sister.
We’ve always had somewhat of a contentious relationship, but have definitely put a lot of that behind us, and have gotten closer in the past few years. Still, we are very different, and while she said yes to being the Maid/Matron of Honor, I just sort of feel like she isn’t into the whole wedding thing. We’ve been trying to work on finding her a dress, and, literally, she hates every dress I show her. She keeps insisiting that it is my wedding, and that I should choose the dress – but I feel like if I just make a unilateral decision and choose a dress without getting her to agree on it, then she will use this against me, and it will be all about the awful, ugly dress I made her wear! I don’t want her to wear an ugly dress – I really don’t care all that much about what the bridemaid dresses look like, just that they like them, and that they feel comfortable and beautiful. I just feel like she is trying to set me up.
In general, she is just very anti-wedding. She talks constantly about how she wouldn’t choose to have a wedding at all, that she would just elope to Vegas. She makes comments like “Well, YOU got yourself into this!” – like the wedding is this big pain in the ass thing that she doesn’t even really want to deal with. She lives in the city, and works 2 jobs, while I live out in the suburbs near our famly, so I haven’t even really tried to get her to do much of anything with me in terms of wedding planning, other than to look for her own dress.
I’m just frustrated, and I’m really starting to feel like I just want to drop the whole Bridesmaid/Groomsman thing all together. It just feels sort of silly to me – she is giving me such a hard time about this, its not like I even want her to do any of the traditional bridesmaid things, I’ve already told her that I would pay for the dress, I just want her to pick it out! I worry, though, that I will horribly alientate my FIs family if I suddenly decide to not have a wedding party at all – especially since they aren’t the reason that I’m contemplating this. And I can’t just drop my sister and keep the rest of them – that would cause even more of a nightmare.