Post # 1
So Today my fiance calls me and tells me that his side of the family other then his mom cannot make our wedding… we have 7 months till our wedding day and this has come so unexpectedly. He says its not a big deal but i know he is only saying that because i am so excited about the destination wedding. But for some reason i feel like this is the first real test of our wedding. Am i willing to choose a different way to have our wedding even if that means pulling out of having a destination wedding so that the people who mean most to him could be there?
what scares me the most now is not only the decision but that we only have 7 months till we get married and im already going crazy trying to think of where else we would have it and how we would i tell my side of the family that we arnt doing the destination wedding anymore when they have already put in money???
im really going crazy and probably will have a melt down and i cant really think to straight right now so i need some help from my lovely wedding bees… 🙁
Post # 3
This was the exact reason FI and I decided to forego our DW plans. We were all gung-ho and then found out that basically my entire family wouldn’t be able to attend (with the exception of my parents). Under no circumstances could I get married without those people there so we changed our plans. What made it not quite so bad for us was that we decided to still honeymoon in Bermuda (where we were going to get married).
As someone who was planning a DW and then cancelled it to appease her family, I can honestly tell you that we made the right decision for us. However, every couple is different and you and your FI may have different values than we do. To us, a wedding isn’t just about the couple, its about our families as well. It was more important for us to share our wedding day with those closest to us than get married in some tropical location. You can visit your DW wedding location whenever you want but you’ll never be able to relive your wedding day.
I understand that your situation will be trickier since your family has already put some money down but since its 7 months away, is it possible to get the money back? Also, 7 months may not seem like long but 2 of my best friends were engaged and married within 6 months or less so it can certainly be done.
Whatever you decide to do, just make sure that you both are happy with the decision.
ETA: We’re planning on renewing our vows on our 10 year anniversary in Bermuda. I know it doesn’t help the current situation but maybe something like that could work for you guys.
Post # 4
How long have you been planning and how much money has been spent. When we made the announcement for our Semi-DW we knew right away who could swing it and who couldn’t. It does suck if they were all on board and then all of a sudden said they couldn’t go, thats part of what helps make the decision in the first place.
Post # 5
we’ve been planning about a year and everyone’s money is refundable up to june 11 2011. yep they were all ready to go and now that its crunch time i guess they realized that they couldnt make it… im really stuck.. what would u guys do?
Post # 6
@disneybride11: If the monies refundable and its important for your FI to have his family present then it seems like a no brainer to me…
Post # 7
We are planning a destination wedding, and my love is on board. I’m already regretting it. There are so many people who really want to be there, but they just can’t swing it.
If you will miss those ppl I say cut your loss. If it wasn’t for losing the deposits I would do the same.
Post # 8
@disneybride11: If you’re going to miss these people being there and the money is refundable I say cancel :/
Luckily for us the people we want there will be there.
Post # 9
I agree w/CaitMarae … seems like you know it’s important to him to have his family there.
Post # 10
I would choose to have a wedding where more family could be involved. Are you going to Disney? The most amazing place on the planet!! That would be such a fun honeymoon location, if you choose to have an at-home wedding! You could always renew your vows there later on! Best of luck with making your decision! 🙂
Post # 11
Personally I’d do the wedding I dreamed of having…so many keep sayin ‘it’s my day’ and to that extent it is and if my heart was set on some destination I’d do it even if it meant some not making it (I’d probably elope though and maybe plan parents there and whatever close friend to stand up with me, she owes me anyway after being in 2 weddings of hers and that might be it).
Post # 12
@Marathongirl04: I’m going to agree somewhat with this. We cancelled our huge wedding and had a tiny very intimate wedding with only our nearest and dearest.
Sometimes its ok to do what you want, but you also need to make sure its what your FH wants as well. I never would have been able to cancel everything w/o DH’s support.
Post # 13
Sorry about that situation! Unfortunately this is when you have to make a decision of what is most important for you.
Personally, I would look into having a small intimate destination wedding and then throwing a bigger reception back home.
But if it’s important to you to have all your family next to you, cancel the destination wedding and start re-planning. I don’t think you’ll have so much fun on your wedding day if you spend it regretting that not more people could make it!
Post # 14
@disneybride11:As I discovered once I joined weddingbee last month, every DW bride goes through this “crossroads”. For us, our romantic wedding in a faraway place was most important and having a few friends and family there would be nice. Of course I wished we had decided to just elope (with the full tux and gown and reception dinner for two) instead of fighting tooth and nail to get the most important friends and family there. But we prevailed and we have a small party of 20 guests and I am now completey happy with it. Everybody that has commited is VERY EXCITED, and those that can’t go – will see how happy we are in photos and video. It is really what is most important to you and your fiance. Good luck!