(Closed) Thinking more and more about eloping.

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
1702 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I feel like the families would be hurt. 

Even if you aren’t a fan of them, you are their fam. 

 

Here is a neat idea:

Family friends of mine recently organized a big birthday party for the guy, and invited both sides of the family. When we all got there, they surprised us by having a wedding!  They got married, we drank and danced.  It was so cool!  And easy-going. Not too much money, but everyone was there. 

You could say it is an engagement party or something. 

Post # 5
Member
1702 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

With your reasons, I think the small-group of friends only destination wedding sounds great.  I am sorry to hear about your family; but glad to know that you are in the process of starting a new family!

Post # 7
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If the time comes that you are planning for a wedding and you both believe that this is the best option for you, then absolutely do it!  Big weddings, DW, small weddings – all are dependent on the bride and groom and their families and the relationships therein.  One type of wedding is not for everyone!

Post # 8
Member
722 posts
Busy bee

We both get along with our families and we are doing this. I am so excited-it is exactly the wedding i wanted. 

We planned it by choosing some places we wanted to honeymoon. We then look into the legal requirements for marriage in each place. We settled on Thailand and found a lovely resort that arranges weddings. I wanted it to be uncomplicated-we were able to plan everything with a few emails and a credit card deposit.  We will spend about 4 days there before we get married and take care of the paperwork. We will then go to the resort and they will have it all arranged. I think many resorts all over the world will do something similar. 

Our families have been very supportive. My parents are throwing us a reception when we get home.

Post # 10
Member
7772 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hi,

I planned a big wedding and then decided to cancel it for a lot of different reasons.  Now, we are having a small wedding- just the two of us, and our two friends as witnesses, and maybe a photographer (who is a friend) and her boyfriend.  That is it.  We are really happy with our decision, because everything we are doing is on our own terms.  You have to think about yourself and put yourself first.  No one knows what you want and need like you do.  For us, we wanted to get married in a special chapel in town, so we are sort of having a secret wedding- like eloping, but right here in town where we live, because we love it.  I am going to be happy to have an intimate affair.  Your families sound a lot like ours.  We just don’t need them taking over this important moment for us, they have taken over enough.  We are still renting a car, staying in a great hotel, taking a honeymoon, I have a designer dress- everything I want, just on my own terms.  Good luck finding what is right for you!

Post # 11
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We are doing a semi-elopement.  We are doing a hawaiian cruise next summer, only my mom and grandmother from my side will be there.  He has more family coming…his parents, brother and a few aunts, uncles & older cousins.  We are planning a backyard bbq in the late summer/early fall.  I will include some of my other family, but not a whole lot bc really…they are not nice people.

I am pro elopement and resort/cruise wedding!Cool

Post # 13
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@RenoRose: I’m sort of in your same boat.  We are having our wedding in an aquarium in Las Vegas, with 10-12 of our closest family members and friends. My FI’s family is HUGE but they are supportive of our decision.  FMIL did ask me once if it was really what I wanted.  I answered with no hesitation.

It is important to me that we include our families (even though my family consists of one person, my wonderful sister) which is why we didn’t go full-on elopement style. But if it were a choice between eloping sans family and a huge wedding with all of our families, we would elope in a heartbeat.

I understand the desire for it though, and my sister is planning on getting married in a private ceremony in Hawaii and even though I don’t like that I won’t be able to witness it, I understand why they want it, and that it isn’t my decision to make.  I did voice my opinion to her but I respect their their wishes and I’m happy for them nonetheless.  I would expect the same from anyone that I am close to that did not invite me to their wedding.  Right from the beginning I felt that if anyone chooses to be hurt or upset or angry at me/us for our choice, we probably didn’t want them along in the first place.

 

Post # 14
Member
7772 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Reno- I am in the same boat.  Unfortunately, I do not want my mother anywhere near me, so I can’t really invite any family or close family friends (in order to avoid the drama).  I think eloping sounds great.  Anything with less stress is my desire. 

Post # 15
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We are doing a DW wedding with 8 people. We are going to Breezes in Bahamas! The wedding is free when you stay there! It was the perfect option for us.

I think people care too much what others think and you need to do what will make you and your FH happy. Even if you were close to your family WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK! Its your day!

Post # 16
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We have 5 people total (including us) going to Maui, in fact we leave Friday.  Anyway we had tossed around various wedding ideas and nothing excited us.  Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings and all the cool details but the thought of doing that myself made me keep putting off making any decisions.  When we finally said screw this we’re going to Maui, that’s when we got excited.  We told friends/family and everybody was excited for us, not one person was upset that they wouldn’t get to see it.  His parents and brother are coming, my sister unfortunately can not make it but we’re video taping it for her to see.  For us we’re beyond excited and can’t imagine doing it any other way.  If you’re cool with people not being there then I say go for it….

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