Thinking of eloping – need input

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

I think the best option for you would be to Google “Connecticut inn weddings” or “Connecticut Inn elopments”. I Google things like this for fun all the time and what I’ve noticed is that their are Inns and B & Bs all over the country, and several in each state, that offer great wedding packages with nearly everything or everything one needs for a quality wedding. 

I don’t think it will be too hard to find an inn or bed and breakfast that will have what you want. 

You could also search for Connecticut wedding/bridal blogs. You’ll get lots of great ideas and a feel for what’s available in your state. The Connecticut Bride Blog may be a good place to start. 

 

Post # 4
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@S.Elizabeth.G:  Ok, so I did some quick searching and I found an officiant that seems to offer what you want: A Wedding Minister, Connecticut (www.weddingministerct.com) 

They offer many types of ceremonies and personalizations. They have galleries and pictures of weddings they have performed, so you can get a feel for what your wedding could look like. 

Yes, you can get married and then invite people to a place of your choosing afterward for an informal celebration. 

I hope this helps. 

 

Post # 5
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@S.Elizabeth.G:  Hey there!  I got engaged in May 2011!  We’ve been married a year now, but I can really feel your need to “get the show on the road.”  I don’t blame you!  I think eloping is wonderful tell you the truth!  But do it special.

 

So your list:

  1. A nice pretty backdrop – preferably somewhere outside
  2. Pictures of us – we don’t have many and I’d like to have them to look back on when I’m older
  3. A pretty dress – I’ve always wanted a nice wedding dress to feel really “bridal” for the day
  4. Personalized vows – This is the most important thing to me

 

Is exactly what we had on our list.  We went to the Canadian Rockies.  We did not fly, we drove because we planned it all in 15 days (after being engaged for 15 months) and flights would have been really expensive, not to mention car rental.  We put 2500 miles on the Subaru!
 
I highly recommend this weddingmoon route.  Especially if families give you their blessing.  You get your vacation, your wedding, your photos and your special vows you can be as personal as you want (there is no crowd watching you).
 
I was married before.  It was a very quick trip tho the courthouse with no dress.  Not very eventful.  When I was getting married again 10 years later, I thought now’s my chnace to do the wedding!  My H was never married before.  Well a wedding is hard and not that fun, lots of drama, people (as in my family) not wanting to make the trek out to us.  It brought tears and sleepless nights!
I felt 100% better about spending our hard earned money on us and for us.  Talk about STRESS FREE!  We bought an elopement package at a fancy lodge.  We just had to show up and look good.
 
FWIW, our wedding with all the attire, photography, etc was $3300.  The vacation part was $3700 (we did some hotels, fancy lodge 3 nights, and then camping).
 
A photo from the wedding day:

Post # 6
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@S.Elizabeth.G:  
If those 4 items are BOTH your & FI’s top priorities I would say eloping sounds like a real option for you two. It can be quite a bit cheaper- in my experience (though i’m in northern CA) all those inns & B&B’s are quite expensive packages. Most of the inn’s in our area wanted you to rent out the entire inn for at least 2 nights, so that may be an issue or it could be specific to my area. If your worried about budget then eloping can cut that in half.  You can still do the party afterwards so everyone can celebrate with you & it doesn’t have to be expensive either. We eloped in Mexico (package at an AI resort for $1,400) & the next week went to our families home state for a park BBQ/potluck. It cost us under $500 in groceries & decor, mostly because my grandmother is amazing & took care of quite a bit. 

 

Post # 8
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@S.Elizabeth.G:  As for the celebration stuff afterwards?  Hmm, I don’t know your crowd but saying “Hey we’re going to be at XYZ, come join us if you want!” may or may not work.  Yes if you put it that way, people know they cover their own drinks.  I’d do email for that or word of mouth. 

 

As soon as you make it a mailed annoucement or invitation, it turns into a hosted event that you’d have to cover.  So no mailings, just casual email or word of mouth if you go this route. 

 

For me, after the wedding I was just so relieved (we had lost my father during the engagement, cancelled the wedding while he was dying, just very emotionally draining).  I did not feel the need to put on a party.  H kind of wanted a party but if I wasn’t into it he was OK with that.  We finally got convinced to throw a casual potluck one month after the wedding only because friends were like, “When’s the party!!???”  We made it a combo party – my recent graduation, our new deck, fall is in the air, and we got married.  I did not want it to be wedding like though.  No family was invited.  It was planned in a week, very casual.  Nothing that would warrant a flight.  It turned out nice, but it was not needed in my mind.

Post # 11
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My fiance and I have decided on a surprise wedding. After stressing about paying for a big wedding for about 6 months and starting to fight, not being excited about the wedding, dress shopping or anything like that we said Screw it. We want to get married, lets get married and do it how we want to do it. It was very important to him to have his family there, so we are including our nearest and dearest with the rouse of them coming over for a birthday dinner (luckily our birthdays are a week apart!).

I think the biggest thing to take away from it is you need to do whats best for the two of you. I think in this day in age almost anything is ‘acceptable’. Anyone who has planned a wedding, been in debt or spent the equivalent of a down payment on a house for one day can completely relate to NOT wanting to go down the path of a ‘regular’ wedding. Invite people to a bar, your house, where ever you want! It’s your special day, and it should be what makes YOU happy. I sincerely hope that whatever you choose, it makes you happy!

 

Post # 12
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

With your list of priorities, ya I think that Eloping especially to a Destination Wedding fits the bill.  That is what Mr TTR & I did (Florida Keys) and I got ALL the 4 items on your list (and then some)

Wedding Announcements are totally fine.  We did the same, simple cards with our Wedding Photos on them, they just say our names, the date, and where (got those printed after we got home and had our Wedding Photos in hand)

In the meantime, while we were planning our Elopement we also planned for a Back Home Celebration for Family & Friends… Venue – Caterer – Cake – Bartender – DJ.  Had invites printed up, and sent them out while we were away on our Honeymoon

(Our Elopement wasn’t a HUGE Secret… we told people we were planning to be married over the Christmas Holidays)

When it comes to hosting a Celebration, as an Etiquette Snob here on WBee… lol (comes with my upbringing & career), I’m going to tell you that

(a) if you host anything that is announced or stated upfront that it is a Celebration for your Wedding be prepared for some criticism (ie it is not correct to be both Host & Honoured Guest for such an occasion).

(b) If you do so, and don’t pay for it all, then it is considered truly on the distasteful side of things…

(c) Way around (a) and (b) is either throw a party and step up to the plate and pay for it, so people will forget about the fact that you thru it for yourself… or have someone else host it for you

(d) OR make the Celebration the surprise.  IF you are Eloping and not telling anyone, you can certainly line up a get together for your Friends & Family once you return.  “Join us for drinks on Saturday Night” (be that at a venue, bar or home).  BUT again, be prepared to be the generous host and in very least provide the first round (if not all)

Mr TTR and I did something like (d) for our Engagement.  We told no one we were picking up our ring on a particular day (infact we didn’t tell many people he had proposed in the weeks prior)… so day of the ring pick up we invited some close friends to join us for Drinks at one of our favourite restaurants… which isn’t unusual, we socialize a lot with friends in this way.  But once folks were there, we announced our NEWS, and bought the required bubbly to celebrate.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 13
Member
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

I have sat on the elopement fence a lot, and revisit it from time to time. But for me, at the end of the day too many people are excited about our wedding. Soooo we’ll probably have one, unless from the get go people piss me off, then I’m immediately looking into elopement.

There are so many AMAZING elopement packages and the photos are to die for. I drool over them – if you’re in a situation where you can elope without people losing it on you – DO IT! 

Post # 14
Member
6880 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@S.Elizabeth.G:  Have you heard of the Sandals “weddingmoons?” It’s like a destination wedding, but more intimate. They do literally everything for you, you just need to bring what you are wearing. I know some people that did the basic wedding package at the Sandals White House resort in Jamaica and have NO regrets! 

Don’t feel like you are alone in this, because I literally have no idea what I am doing and have made 0 progress myself. We keep changing our minds with what we want, because our budget is so small.

Post # 15
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@S.Elizabeth.G:  You don’t sound nuts.

Costa Rican marriage laws are easily found online. From what I just looked at, there isn’t anything too complicated or that many steps in the process. Personalizing the ceremony probably won’t be difficult. Personalization is probably what many of the wedding businesses make a priority. From what I’ve seen, many of them mention it right on the website along with ideas. 

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