Post # 1
I’ve been going through a lot of stress lately and often just feel depressed and not excited at all about wedding planning. Sometimes I have doubts about getting married bc I think I’m still so immature. My fiance and I have talked about how I feel and he supports my decision either way 100%.
He is the best man I can ask for, so it’s definitely not him that’s making me feel this way, just wanted to clear that up.
Although, I am not that young, 26, I still feel immature for marriage. I recently got accepted into grad school in which I deferred a year to start in 2015. Currently, we have wedding planned tentatively for April, 2015. I have casually told a few friends and of course family and haven’t sent out any formal announcements like STDs. Even though it’s still a year away, I STILL feel like it’s too soon.
I want to complete grad school first before getting married. But that means I won’t be able to get married until 2016 or 2017… and my Fiance and I will have close to 3 years engagement… ah
Am I being selfish here? I need some advice.
Post # 2
Getting married is a huge life decision and wedding planning in itself can be a great deal of work and stress. While it can be hard, time consuming, frustrating, and stressful to plan a wedding, it can also be a lot of fun and provide great opportunities to bond with fiance, family, and friends. If I were you, I would wait until both your head and heart are fully engaged and excited to take on the experience.
I can’t see how you pushing it back is selfish. If you feel like you aren’t quite ready, you should just wait until you are certain. That, to me, is being mature and wise and true to yourself. If your fiance understand and supports you, then do what feels right.
The way I see it is that a 3 year engagement = 3 years to plan, save, budget, fine-tune, diy etc. It might sound like a ridiculously long time, but you might actually appreciate having lots of time if you’re going to be juggling school and planning. My engagement was a year and a half while I was in grad school. At first, I was sooo sad that the engagement was going to be so long, but once I realized everything that must be done to plan a wedding, I was grateful (and really could have used another 2-3 months as I was rushing around last minute to do some stuff–not fun).
Post # 3
My best advice it to talk with your FI. A long or short engagment is okay, but it has to work for both of you. Both of you should be happy with the decision.
Also, walk away from the wedding planning for a month. Just take the pressure off of Venues and menues and guests lists and don’t think about it. If you still have a panic attack when you get back to it, it might not be the length of engagement, it might be that you don’t want a big wedding and you would rather elope. That is perfectly okay too.
Post # 4
AKpkl: Misswhowedding: Thank you guys for your advice =)
Post # 5
We both wanted to finish our degrees first, so we had a 5 YEAR engagement! And after the wedding, I plan on going back for my masters. I can’t imagine doing grad school and planning a wedding at the same time. It sounds like you might be getting overwhelmed at the thought, and if I were you, I would take some time and go ahead and push it back. There is nothing wrong with that. You have to do what’s best for you and your FI
Post # 6
There is nothing wrong with postponing a wedding for school as long as your FI knows that it isn’t becuase HE is the problem. I don’t know your man in particular but some men get defensive when things are put off/postponed etc. People have 3 year engagements all the time and I don’t think your family would skoff at you wanting to fininsh your schooling first, that is completely respectable. but also keep in mind that masters programs are not typically easy and if you postpone wedding planning to the times when you are also working on a thesis it may be more stressful than just getting it over with now. It has to work for you AND your FI