- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
So, sorry to vent bees, but I just need to get this out of my system.
I am a young, very young bride to be. I’m 19, almost 20. I wanted to get that out of the way first because people always make assumptions so I wanted to clarify.
We are young, but my fiance and I both have jobs, we pay our own bills and for our own school. He has had savings to get himself started off and I have worked and saved, too. We have been together for four years and we are ready to get married and move on with our lives. My parents, as you might have guessed by my age, think we shouldn’t yet.
I of course am a little irritated because we’re self sufficient and mature for our ages. I coordinate the children’s program at the church and my fiance will be a CPA next year. We work so that we can pay our own bills. My parents haven’t given me anything more than $20 in two years, and other people in our community call me an “old soul.” I know a lot of young people feel grown up, but we aren’t your typical young couple.
When I brought this up with my parents, to my surprise, they agreed. They said it has nothing to do with my age, that they just aren’t at peace with it yet. My dad says that if I was 16 and he felt at peace with me being married, he would okay it. I just think it is a little obvious that as their oldest child, of course this will be a little difficult.
When we first got engaged, we all agreed we could plan and agree on date later. However, whenever I try to mention any serious planning they freak out and shut me down. The other day I found a deal on my dream wedding dress. A $1500 dress on sale for $400! I called my mom, because I have the money since we’ve been saving for this and she said, “Did you expect me to be happy about you calling to tell me you want to buy a wedding dress?” Well yes Mom, I did! I think if this were really all about me not being ready and the date, then they would allow me to plan and store things away. Especially with a deal like that. Instead, it’s like I have to avoid anything “wedding” for fear it might infect us or something.
I was visiting home from college a couple of weeks ago and talking about my wedding and my mom, as she usually does during these conversations got quiet and a straight face and said, “Do you realize that once you get married you won’t be able to come home like this anymore?” I DO realize! I know it is bitter-sweet, but how do I explain to them I am ready to move on without hurting their feelings?
My uncle has been really supportive as he and his wife were married when she was 18 and he was 24. He told me to avoid the drama and take a couple of close friends to elope somewhere nice and have a party when we got back. My fiance and I had a good laugh at that thought and then my uncle surprised me by turning to me in all seriousness and saying, “No, really. I’m not even kidding.”
We can afford to finish paying for school and have most of our wedding saved up for. We already pay our own bills and have emergency cash. I am just starting to think that my uncle may be right. Maybe I should avoid all the drama and just get married! We could use that money as extra cushioning in the pocket which never hurts. I don’t know if I can stand to wait around on my parents for another 5 years. I’m ready to move on, and they just aren’t. 🙁