This Article, Unbelievable! Or Not!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6028 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow. They should just get divorced already. Staying together “for the children” is probably one of the worst ideas anyone has ever thought of. And this is coming from someone whose parents are divorced. That child isn’t stupid enough to think her parents are happy.

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m not a big believer in divorce, but if the husband was thinking about cheating, I think it is time to get one. They are going to raise a daughter who sees how her parents treat each other and then she is going to end up in the same type of relationship. It would be better for her to be raised having to go back and forth to both houses then see her parents so unhappy.

Post # 5
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@brendaray2009:  oh wow. I have a few friends whose parents “stayed together for the kids” – the result was a miserable household which all the kids longed to escape, and a series of dysfunctional relationships for ALL the kids when they grew up.

The writer of the article and her husband are their daughter’s relationship role models- she will likely display the same behaviors in her relationships that they are demonstrating towards one another in front of her. It would be one thing if they were in a happy open marriage or just raising her together as friends – but it seems like they can barely stand one another! Somehow I doubt mom and dad are wishing for the same kind of relationship for their daughter.

Post # 6
Member
466 posts
Helper bee

@brendaray2009: Actually the statistic that 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce isn’t true for everyone.  If you get married older or went to college, the liklihood of your marriage ending in divorce goes down exponentially.  According to the NY times “only 11 percent of college-educated Americans divorce within the first 10 years today, compared with almost 37 percent for the rest of the population.”  A tip to stay married, you should either get married older or go to college.

Here’s the link to the NY times article.  http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/19/fashion/how-divorce-lost-its-cachet.html?pagewanted=all

But yes, the people in this article make me sad.  Its one thing to choose to have an open marriage, its quite another to do it because you don’t get along.  

Post # 7
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

@brendaray2009:  I’ve always wondered what the goal of people who publish things like this is. Do they want to talk people out of getting married? To make themselves feel better about the situation? To convience themselves, and others, that they are somehow better than the rest of the population because they have this “special insight”? Sometimes I wonder if these people just aren’t extremely skilled internet trolls, make something just believable enough so as to illicit an emotional response/get attention? Do they sit back and laugh at people’s comments?

Post # 8
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s my parents! “Staying together for the children” (Or until my Dad’s inevitable second heart attack kills him)

They’re convinced it’s better for the kids than divorce… But they’re 9 and 11. They can TELL our parents hate one another! They definitely don’t hide it well…

Post # 9
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

This article seems so pointless. It should be written in her diary, not the internet.

Post # 10
Member
36 posts
Newbee

One of the biggest things that stood out to me about this article was that she said that they got married to have a child, to show their future child that she was planned and wanted. I think there is often too much focus on your children. 

I want to marry SO because I can’t imagine spending my life without him whether we have children or not and I know that when we have kids, our relationship will still remain a priority for us. I have family who haven’t been to see an adult movie since before their daughter was born 6 years ago. 

I had many friend’s parents split once they went to university because they realized that they had nothing in common once their child moved out. 

Post # 11
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@whoa_its_ash:  +1. I looked around the page thinking the rest was on another page. 

Post # 12
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

that is just heartbreaking to me on so many levels. ugh.

Post # 13
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@lawyerchick13:  That may be true, but remember that this is a generalization- it’s not like going to college will really decrease your chances of divore outright. Sorry if this isn’t what you meant, but it really bugs me when people tell others to wait to get married to the same person so they won’t get divorced, etc. It’s more that when people go to college or get married when they are older, they will have had a chance to see more relationships and meet a more diverse group of people, so they will have a better chance of knowing that a relationship is right for them. I married my DH at 23, which many people (especially in my area) would say is asking for divorce. However, if I waited and married the same guy when I was 30, our chances of divorce would not go down- I would just be given the opportunity to meet someone else who is more compatible, and because he is a better fit, I would be less likely to divorce him than I would my current DH.

Post # 15
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If my parents lived by the same rule she does, I would’ve ended up a very, very unhappy and dependant individual who couldn’t think for herself, or probably hold a very good relationship. This author needs to check herself and realize their kid is way smarter than they give her credit for. She can tell if they’re not happily married.

Post # 16
Member
466 posts
Helper bee

@MeiFrancis:  I agree with you.  I’m not trying to say that anyone’s marriage won’t work out, because they didn’t go to college or got married young.  My grandparents both dropped out of high school, got married at 17, and are still happily married 63 years later.  

Of course its a generalization.  Its a statistic.  It will not apply to everyone, and each marriage is different.  Also, 23 is not that young to get married, particularly if you are financially stable.    

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