This bitch has invited herself to MY wedding!! What to do?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I mean,it is her brother getting married. I assume your fiance was on board with the plan but does he really feel the way you do? Is it really going to ruin your day? You have every right to tell her no,but maybe telling her your concerns would work. I’m sure their mother would like to have them both there. Good luck

Post # 3
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Merely mention that you wanted it to be a small, private affair (if it is), or mention a strict guest list that you have to adhere to. You have to learn the power of “no” as a bride. I know it may be hard, but sometimes just sucking it up and saying “I wish we could have you at our wedding, but the guest list has been finalized, and the caterers/vendors required a head count.”

Post # 4
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

rococo: you can’t uninvite someone who has never been invited. If your FI’s aunt is not on the list, it’s up to him to say “I’m sorry, but the list is closed.” and give her picture to your DOC so she can be politely escorted off the premises should she appear. 

She’s a grown woman. If anyone is embarrassed, it should be the aunt who is not invited. 

Post # 5
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

futuremrschristensen:  this.

OR just suck it up and let her come. This is your husband’s blood aunt, right??

Post # 6
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

rococo:  hold on, this is not just YOUR wedding, its both you and your FI’s. Sorry but your title makes you sound like a brat.

To answer your question, I would let your FI and his mom talk it out and then have FI handle the situation being that his mother is ill. Its not your place to tell her off. You are going to be so preoccupied that day, you won’t even know she is there if they let her come. 

Post # 7
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unless it was a very very small wedding or there were extenuating family circumstances, I would think a sister of a dying mother would be invited to her nephew’s wedding.  Maybe she just assumes, which in general is wrong but my aunts would assume to be invited to my wedding too.

I would ask your partner what he wants/thinks and let him make the decision.

Also, ask yourself how it would make your dying mother in law that you adore feel to not have her own sister there to have one last family celebration before she likely dies??? 

Post # 8
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

How is it that you came to know that she was planning on attending? Is this a rumor? Or confirmed information?

There must have been a reason that his aunt was not on the guestlist. Tell your FI this is his problem to deal with. He can still be polite but tell her there must have been a misunderstanding, but you are unable to invite her to the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If your fiance adamantly against her attending? She’s on his side of the family, so it has to be his call. Not yours. If he wants to let her come, then by all means let her come.

 

Post # 11
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wait… So “this bitch” is your very ill FMIL’s sister right? The same FMIL who you love dearly? Does she want her sister to attend? I would talk to your FMIL and your FI first. If they want her there then be gracious. If they don’t want her there, let them deal with it.

Post # 12
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

What does being well educated have to do with dealing with an uninvited guest? If she’s that horrendous then call her and tell her you are at max capacity OR have your FMIL deal with her. It’s their family.

Post # 13
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

rococo:  If your fiance can’t his aunt “no”, then you’ll have to roll with it. It is not your place to tell HIS aunt that she may or may not come. Maybe your FMIL can talk to her.

Post # 14
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, if the whole family agrees that her presence is unwanted, including your FMIL, then yes, just very clearly and firmly but politely tell her that the wedding is very small and intimate and that unfortunately the venue can’t accodomate more people but thank you for her best wishes.  

Post # 15
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

rococo:  No one is too well educated and diplomatic to deal with a party crasher. In fact , I feel those are the ideal qualifications.

Is he ducking out of dealing with the situation ? Or are you just assuming that you are the one to handle it?

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