this feeling…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@mstaylortobe14:  First off welcome to weddingbee!

I think the important thing is to approach him with how you are feeling and see how he would feel if the same thing happened to him. Make sure he understands you aren’t having a go at his mum you just want to know why she is acting this way towards you and wants to know what you can do (as a couple) to make this better with her.

Feeling outside of the family with your in laws is never a nice experience, so just make sure you tell him you want to feel welcomed and you also want to encourage a closer relationship with his mum, not one fueled by negative emotions.

Post # 4
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@mstaylortobe14:  If she lives in another state and you rarely ever have to see her I wouldn’t get too worked up about it. I’d be more focused on where your relationship is going and the fact that your FI can’t understand your emotions without getting defensive about his mom.

Post # 5
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@mstaylortobe14:  If the other women are the mothers of her grandkids then she may not want to risk upsetting them by posting your picture on her FB page right around the holidays when she is likely to want to see her grandkids.  And really, it’s Facebook.  People present distorted depictions of themselves online because they want to be seen in a certain way.  She’s probably friends with the moms on Facebook and as such she has access to the grandkids’ daily lives and photos posted by their moms.  Myabe one of the moms was fine with you dating but now that you’re engaged, they have a problem with you being around your FI’s family and kids.  Who knows?

Why don’t you post the photo in its entirety on your page?  I would give it until after the wedding before getting too upset about the situation.  Your FI has had at least two other relationships where your FMIL invested her time and energy into those women only to have them break up/divorce for whatever reason.  Maybe she’s being cautious with you because getting attached to the other women made the break ups more painful for her.  For what it’s worth, your FMIL isn’t being as awful as she could be based on some of the horrible MIL stories posted here on the Bee.

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

She sounds like either a seriously Crazy Daisy, or a Grandmother terrified she won’t be able to see her Grandkids around the holidays.

I’d talk with your FI and see what he thinks!

Post # 7
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t think I could deal with the two baby mamas, the hiding of the engagement from them, and the pushed back wedding date. I would be out of that situation. Something is off.

Post # 8
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I didn’t understand what happened with the mother and the picture :/

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