This irks me…is it a typical way to congratulate someone?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4819 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Is this something that is just a normal/humerous way to congratulate someone? Did any of you other bees hear comments like this and what’d you think of it?

Perfectly normal, I heard it all the time. It’s a joke, people like to think they’re funny. I never thought long enough about it to consider what I thought about it.

Post # 4
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

my fiance is a gamer, and he streams video games.

sometimes i sit in the chat, so all of the boys know and adore me, but no one had SEEN me, there was a silly rule in place (just for fun) so there was a lot of hype (“I SAW HER HAIRRRRRR!”

and when they finally did get to meet me on the screen, they were all very charming and told my fiance that he was hitting above his level. 

i think they’re trying to pay misguided compliments to both of you. By saying your FI is a lucky guy, and by saying you’re gorgeous.

though you’re right, it does seem pretty dumb to do that.

my fiance pretends he’s conceited from time to time, so i pretend those kinds of compliments are knocking him down a peg 😉

Post # 5
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Bexx:  we got comments like this, although DH is very attractive too so I don’t really understand why he wouldn’t have “caught a pretty girl.” I can’t say whether or not it’s normal but I don’t think its meant to be insulting. 

Post # 6
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Bexx:  If they are close guy friends, this is just how they show affection towards each other. My DH and his guy friends tell each other to f*** themselves all the time. I hate using this phrase, but it’s just guys being guys.

Don’t look too much into it – it’s really not meant to be an insult. It’s your FI’s friends ragging on him b/c they LIKE him. Weird, I know, but boys are weird.

Post # 7
817 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know if it’s just an engaged thing… when I met my boyfriend’s family and friends in his home town for the first time most of them said something similar, and I think we’re similar levels of attractiveness too.

Post # 8
567 posts
Busy bee

@Bexx:  People are just saying that because, they are trying to flatter you… People have said the same thing to my fiance infront of me and he is very handsome and tall.  I have had some of my close girlfriends say, “Wow, how did you find, where did you find him”  So it goes both ways…

Some of the rudest responses of my engagement i have gotten from a cougar who was obviously into my fiance..Looking at my man said. ” Oh, your engaged, I guess I should say congrats” In the most rude, bored, not excited tone ever! LOL  I was like really, byatch you are like 57! 

Post # 9
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

They are being playful, joking and think they are original. No harm done. I highly doubt the genuinely mean anything negative by it.

Post # 12
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Bexx:  My husband is a very classic tall, dark and handsome looking guy, and ya, i have still gotten this a lot as well. I think it’s a typical thing ppl say, sort of like the “ah, so this if your better half” saying.

It’s an easy way for someone to compliment the new fiance when they don’t know them enough to say anything else polite — not meant as an insult to the other partner at all.

Also, gender biased as it may be, I think people are just more hardwired to accept depracting (even jokingly) a male’s appearance than a female’s, so that’s probably why you may find yourself potentially offended if it were said the other way around.


Post # 13
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think it’s a pretty typical comment that’s meant to be taken as a compliment. I’ve heard similar remarks at various times over the course of my relationship even though my SO and I are on the same level of physical attractiveness.

Post # 14
6449 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Totally normal. DH got this quite a bit. My ex also had this happen to him when he would introduce me to people. I’m certainly no stunner and my DH and ex are not beasts so I’m thinking this is just normal.

Post # 15
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think it’s a pretty normal joke.  At my FI”s old job, his bosses (and some regular clients) referred to me as “Little Miss Out of Your League” when talking to him. We still joke about.

Post # 16
805 posts
Busy bee

@Bexx:  I think you’re reading a little bit too much into it – we get comments like that and I’m pretty sure it’s all said in jest. Don’t worry about it!

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