Post # 1
I hate what weddings turn people into!!
My grandma asked if she could invite a few of her friends (who I’ve met through the years occasionally … maybe once every 3-4 years I see them for thirty minutes) if she paid for their meals. I said certainly. I think it would be more fun for my grandmother to have some of her dear friends there and while I wouldn’t want to spend $50/apiece on them (especially since they all come with spouses) I certainly don’t mind having them there and I don’t mind at all buying a few extra save the dates and invites. We’re footing the entire bill (except my wedding dress, which my father paid for – and he and my mother/mother’s side are not on speaking terms)
So my mother called and said “Did grandma ask you about inviting Joan, Bill, Judy, Judy’s Bill, Marcie, Bob, and Marlena?” I said, “She sure did. She offered to pay for their meals so that’s more than fine with me.”
And my mom said, “Oh, good. Because I was talking to Judy a few days ago and she said that she and Bill were coming whether they were invited or not.”
Are you serious???? I haven’t seen this person in actually years and I wouldn’t recognize her husband on the street. I can’t believe how disrespectful people can be! I said something to this effect to my mother on the phone who then told me I was being a brat.
NOPE I’m not. We are paying for people’s dinner, drinks, and entertainment (and lodging for 60 people!!) and we have no obligation to invite people we don’t even know on a personal level, and those people have absolutely no right to feel entitled to an invite!
GAH. Anyways, I already told my grandmother yes and I would never go back on that by any means, but I can’t believe my mother said I was being a brat for being upset that someone would be so rude!
Post # 3
That’s obnoxious. Hopefully it was meant as a joke although that’s unlikely.
Post # 4
Seriously, why do people do that? Since she’s your grandma’s friend I assume she’s older and should understand etiquette… its not like she’s a high school girl inviting herself! Don’t worry about it though. She is getting invited, and you don’t have to pay for her, so its all good! Just smile and move on with planning your beautiful wedding 🙂
Post # 5
Grrrrrrrr…why are people so effing rude?!!!!
Post # 6
@208bride: Did Judy mean it as a joke when she was talking to your mother, and then your mother didn’t relay the info correctly? It just seems like an odd thing, to just force your way into a wedding, I mean, who does that?
Post # 7
That would rub me the wrong way too, both if someone said that they would come to my wedding invitation or not, and if my mother called me a brat for my reaction.
Post # 8
@veryberry13: I suppose it’s possible that Judy was joking, but my mom didn’t say, “Oh, but dear, Judy was just teasing” when I said it was rude, so I don’t really feel like it was a joke? Idk. She was just like, “You’re the one who wanted a big wedding, stop acting like a brat.” (and by big, we’re talking inviting 150 people – we could have had 250 and still have other people on the list we actually know better than my grandmother’s friends.)
My mom can be really really abrasive though also, so it’s possible that just the way she worded the whole thing set me off. She has a knack for being insensitive. The day after we announced our engagement she said to me, “I know you are going to be a total bridezilla so just so you know, I’m not going to offer help because I know you’ll want to do everything on your own so you can micromanage every last tiny detail and whatever I will do will probably just be wrong and you’ll end up redoing it anyway. So if you need me to do something you’ll have to directly tell me exactly what to do.”
Honestly, Judy might not know we’re paying for everything, and beyond thanking her for coming, we will probably have zero interaction on the wedding day anyway so I’m not all bent out of shape about it …. I just can’t believe people actually say things like that.
Post # 9
Eh,.. they may have said it jokingly. I had people make that comment. Without hearing what tone they used it’s hard to say really. If they really were being rude like that.. well,.. ew.
Post # 10
Definately rude to be a wedding crasher!
Old people do tend to get away with things! My grandmother has gotten worse in her old age. Bless their hearts. Try and laugh about it if you can. It beats crying.