(Closed) This is a sticky situation.

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: How should I approach this situation so I'm not a bridezilla?
    kick her out of the party, she obviously isn't supportive : (0 votes)
    talk to her about your problems with her and see where it goes : (8 votes)
    73 %
    ignore it unlesss something else comes up : (2 votes)
    18 %
    I'm just being a bitch, there isn't anything to worry about : (1 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Well that certainly is a sticky situation…..

    First.. I’m trying to look at this from a completely unbiased position at all sides…

    I personally would try and seek other counsel on your entire family situation and just keep loving them even through their judgement. And don’t get yourself wrapped up in petty strife like the FB comment… just blow it off and don’t let it settle into anger or bitterness.

    I think that having your brothers girlfriend as the kind of bridesmaids you’re wanting is probably not going to work well. Even is she is your friend her loyalty is ultimately to your brother.. think about it if you were her and your FI was the brother.

    I wouldn’t say her posting the “is he right for you” question is not supporting you… infact alot of times when we’re in love we tend to not see the even major flaws in who we may be picking… not saying she’s right or ANYTHING like that.. just that her caring about you should post the every now and again “snap in the face… are you sure”

    If you really don’t think you can mend yours and her relationship to the state you want then maybe you should remove her.. but something I’ve learned is true colors are always shown through strife… from both sides.. in how they react and the decisions they make.

    Before making any decisions I would really try and look at everything from every angle and don’t make a decision that your conscience won’t be clear of 😉

    Post # 5
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Counselling all together might be helpful.

    I learned a few years back that the family unit is like a puzzle and believe or not even when we’re jack up we actually fit the puzzle just as we are… we we change (change shape) we don’t fit the puzzle anymore so there tends to be alot of strife and we either leave the puzzle or change back.

    I certainly don’t think there is anything wrong with your parents and their views…. BUT we’re supposed love each other even through all of our flaws. Sometimes we all forget that one.

    Just keep loving them! be unselfish toward them and just do what you can.. if for no other reason than they’re your parents.

    Your mention to your FI not going to family things… I would still go. I’ve had alot of opposition from my FI family but really that just gives me more of a chance to love on them. Let your FI go… act like he knows nothing of their views/disapproval… and just love of them! =)

    It really is amazing how situations can change when we stop focusing on our woe’s and just love the people around us…. crap and all… lol

    Post # 6
    Member
    769 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    Just with respect to what you should do about her bff – I think you should just wait and see what happens.  You don’t want to kick her out just to patch things back up and ask her again.  I’d try to not talking about her being in the wedding for now.  Just ignore that aspect and see where the friendship goes from here.  I think you have so much time before your wedding, and who knows how things will eventually turn out.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Wow. You have a lot going on. I would hope you all can work through this. However, I have learned through experience that it is better to be yourself than to be what your family and friends think you should be. Unfortunately for some of us we have to learn that our differences may exclude of from our families more than we would like. As for me, I would much rather put my foot down and be myself. Take me as I am or leave me alone is what I tell my family and friends.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @SweetRose2011: you are welcome. Be strong and stay focused on the love you and your FI have for each other. My family is very negative about almost everything I do. They rarely show support and NEVER offer help unless I practically beg for it. I have learned to depend on myself. Now that I am planning a wedding and I feel like I need their support but I don’t think they are capable. I hope the best for you and your FI.

    The topic ‘This is a sticky situation.’ is closed to new replies.

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