- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
The husband and I were upset with certain family members who did not make it to our wedding and cancelled last minute. One family in particular of 13 people had to cancel, which was 1/4 of the whole wedding. 2 of them told us the day before that they would not be able to attend because they were so badly affected by the storm and just did not want to come. That was fine. Everyone else said they were still coming the day before, then cancelled the day of due to a “gas emergency”. But most of them didn’t show up and never gave us a heads up. I’m kind of peeved about this.
On top of that, the groom’s father did not attend, his brother could not attend, flights got cancelled for members of our bridal party, and I had other cousins that flat-out chose not to attend at the last minute even though they had the means of getting to the wedding.
It’s been about 2 weeks and the first family mentioned has not even said so much as a congrats to us on Facebook. Last week they went to a more closely related family member’s wedding a few states away from where we all live and they were updating Facebook with pictures from the wedding, etc. What upset the two of us is that we feel like they acted like our wedding didn’t even happen. No asking for pictures or any mention of “wish we could have been there”. And some of the members of that family were in our bridal party as well and we had to deal with that last-minute change of plans. All we really wanted was to feel like family.
I thought long and hard about it and decided to post a status on Facebook about it the other day, not addressing anyone specific. I basically said that while the wedding was great, I was hurt and felt boycotted by some of the people that decided not to attend. I also said that failing to cancel your RVSP to a wedding is hurtful and that we had guests that had enough gas that they could have picked the people who were experiencing a gas emergency.
One of the cousins who was supposed to be in the wedding party responded to my status, said-
“I was a guest that cancelled. You may be hurt but how hurt are the guests that still have no home, no cars, and lives amongst family members and friends who lost everything. That would be my mother. I have 2 small babies, half a tank the day of your wedding, and what if I needed my gas and then couldn’t get gas what if i needed to bring my son who has a cronic lung issue to the dr but couldn’t get there? The wedding isn’t as important as the marriage The marriage is what binds you. It’s a natural disaster out of your control, unfortunately it was the week of your wedding fortunately no one was injured or killed. To feel boycotted is somewhat selfish, people including myself who had 5 people staying with me, and continue to stay with me, had to ration what I had I made a decision based on the safety and well being of my children and my family. Thankfully, the storm is behind most but for members of my family they don’t have a home nor did anyone call to see how they were”
First of all, it wasn’t even this cousin that I was really upset with, but her response ended up making me furious with her. Her mother was ordered to evacuate and refused to. As a result, she lost most of her belongings and her cars. My father was also ordered to evacuate and he did. And he was able to keep his car. Also, this cousin’s home was just as affected by the storm as mine. We all had no electric, little to no gas, no cold water, some of us had no running water, etc. She was not the only family housing additional family members. AND she had a half tank. The wedding was 8 miles away. You don’t even need a quarter of a tank to travel that far.
Also, this was never ever explained to us. She didn’t even text us about their cancellation, she texted his mom, who was being ragingly awful the days leading up to the wedding and a little bit the day of and we think it’s because her family cancelled. She was just in a rotten mood and even yelled at someone in my family the day of.
And one of the big kickers for me was that my husband visited her family the day before the wedding and literally asked each and every one of them how they were daying. I reminded her of this and I guess now she’s not talking to me or something.
I’m not upset because they didn’t show. I’m upset because no one even commented on the event or wished us well. I have friends that I haven’t even known for a year that asked for wedding pictures. With them it felt like they could have cared less. And whenever something great happens with their family, I share it on Facebook. Yes, I know I’m being so stupid and I should ignore it, but the selfish comment really bugged me.
We chose not to bring this up to anyone including MIL because it’s such a petty issue. That and we found out today that she got in a fistfight with her mother-in-law. She just must not be in a good place right now.
I realize this cousin is going through a trying time right now. But she’s acting like we didn’t experience any of it. My dad’s place got hit too, so what? He had to stay at his brother’s for a week and he got through it. He didn’t expect people to call him and hold his hand because he’s a grown man that doesn’t need a pity party for him.
I just don’t even really want to see them for the holidays this year because I’m really vexed at most of them…