- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
Yesterday I made a post about my cousin and how I really wanted her to attend my wedding, etc. We grew up together and she’s always been like my sister so her not responding to any of my attempts at trying to contact her ever since she moved in town has really hurt me.
She was raised in a very religious home just like I was and hated it. She got kicked out several years ago, came to live with my parents and I for a period of time, found out my mom was worse than hers, so she moved back home, dealt with her parents, finished up her senior year of school, and then moved back here, getting a place with her then-boyfriends sister. Things got rocky with her and boyfriend, they broke up, and when she started dating someone new, her roommate and her didn’t get along. So, she found a new place with a friend from my local high school and they moved in together.
Here is the issue: the girl she moved in with was really good friends with me when I was in school. I’m not sure what happened but she randomly decided we shouldn’t be friends any more and treated me like crap after that. I don’t really trust her, nor do I feel like she’s being a good influence on my cousin. But I’m going to try to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe she’s changed these past four years (though I doubt it). When I moved out and into my FI’s house, my family was none-too-pleased and neither was my cousin…she wasn’t afraid to tell me so either. So, I expected that when my cousin moved in here, was having boy problems she probably wouldn’t want to tell her family about, that she would come running to me. Boy was I wrong.
I haven’t talked to her in over a year. I miss her like hell and I’ve been really concerned about her lately but since she isn’t responding to anything I do there isn’t anything I can do. Then her roommate last night friended me on Facebook. I accepted thinking if anything went wrong I would delete her. She sent me this message this morning instead.:
” know you’ve been really concerned and worried about **.. at first i thought it wasn’t needed but now.. there’s just stuff going on with her, and her behavior that i am kinda worried about but don’t think it’s my place to say anything to her. i love **, and i love living with her, but i feel like if i say something to her she’s gonna get pissed and things will get tense. you guys were super close, any advice.? ’cause i know she hasn’t exactly been thrilled by your concern..”
What should I say? I’ve been thinking about this all morning and I thought that maybe I should say something like:
“Thank you so much for contacting me. Obviously I’ve been trying to get a hold of her for a long time and I don’t know why she’s pushing all of her family away, but we miss her. Anyways, I don’t really know what you should do, mostly because it will be an odd situation for you as her roommate if you talk to her and she’s angry..and since she’s obviously not responding to me I’m not sure what I could do. Maybe if I knew what was going on I would be able to decide what should happen. Then I could maybe come up with an idea to talk with you about to see what we could do?”
I don’t know…I just feel like I’m worried about how much I trust her roommate, and I don’t want to hurt my cousin and push her even further away from me. But if her roommate is concerned about her, obviously I should be even more, right? Help, I just feel so torn.