(Closed) This is becoming tedious! (Rant)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Wow…your FI’s family sounds, well, special.

But I’m really confused.  IS there more backstory?  His family asked you to wait b/c his brother was planning his wedding.  Why aren’t they asking his brother to wait until after yours?  Is there something else that makes him the black sheep (like maybe he’s not super demanding, selfish, and controlling?).

Post # 4
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Are they paying for the wedding? How is it that they have so much say/control over what you and FI do?

Post # 5
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Wow, that situation sucks 🙁  I wonder why your Future inlaws were so adamant about having you wait for the first brother’s wedding to be over, but they don’t seem to care about the other brother’s wedding coinciding with yours….

Post # 6
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Family can be so much “fun” to deal with. If you really want the small Vegas wedding, go for it!

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m confused. You are letting them walk all over you–why? Why is your FI letting them do this? They’re his family, he needs to tell them to back the hell of and mind their own damn business since you guys are footing the bill! 

You are letting his crazy family run your and your FI’s life. It’s not going to stop here–next thing you know it’ll be things like your house and your kids and go on and on and on.

Do what you want to do, ultimately. Per your other post, if her small contribution of $1500 would force you to pull out a loan, I want to say that you are likely stretching your finances too thin with this wedding as it was. Do what’s best for you and your FI, but don’t let her bully you unless it’s what you want. I don’t get why she’s showing favoritism, but it’s not fair or right. And while I think it’s considerate to wait for family member’s weddings, I think a year is a little unrealistic. Maybe a month or two! But to just expect everybody to get married on a “once a year” timeline is a little silly. If they want to get married now, you can’t do anything about it. And if that means you guys couldn’t attend b/c they picked an inconsiderate time frame, that’s their problem, not yours.

Post # 8
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee

Wow!  What a bunch of selfish jerks!

I’m glad you thought of the quicky (small) wedding idea.  I was thinking elopement before I read that part.

You can throw a big party for true friends and your family later.  You may “forget” to invite his family.

Instead of planning a big wedding, use your creative juices to come up with a long list of excuses why you can’t go to their houses for holidays, why you can’t be at the baby shower, why you can’t be at baby’s first birthday – you get the idea.

Just live your life waaaay around them.

And when you have kiddies, it would be healthy to keep the children away from these awful people.

One your MIL gets the message that if she isn’t nice to YOU, she doesn’t get to see the grandkids (always when you are present so she can’t bad mouth you), I bet she either writes you off or acts nicer.

 

Normally I think it is a test of manhood for a FH to shield his FW from his nasty family.  But that family just has too many big fat jerks in it for one good man to handle.

 

Enjoy YOUR happy life and lovely man!

Post # 9
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I wonder if you won’t regret the Vegas wedding in the end? I know you said that you are okay with that idea, but since you are effectively being forced into this situation, I wonder if you won’t harbor resentment towards your FMIL for making you downsize your wedding when it wasn’t your idea int he first place? Please think carefully before giving into this woman’s demands. Why won’t your FI stand up for himself and you? I’m concerned for your situation– this sucks….

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