This is for all of the newly engaged headed toward marriage- PLEASE L@@k

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

I’m just genuinely curious, and this isn’t meant to be snark in any way, but do people really not discuss these topics with their future spouse before getting married? To me it just seems like common sense but it seems lots of couples just assume things?

Post # 3
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

TwinkleBoss:  I thought it was common sense too, until this past year when 2 couples of our friends separated and got divorced. Apparently one couple didn’t talk about having children before they got married (turns out husband wanted kids, wife didn’t), and the other couple never talked about where they would like to live and how they would handle unforeseen relocation problems (she refused to move to a different state for his job transfer).<br /><br />

Post # 4
5432 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

I never realised that people didn’t talk about this stuff until I came on WB (and talked to some friends IRL)! I just assumed that it was stuff that eventually was brought up. This kind of stuff has been an ongoing conversation since very early on in our relationship and I wouldn’t have married (or gotten engaged to) my DH without discussing these topics first.

Post # 5
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

All of those topics we discussed long before even being engaged. I don’t think they should be left until after marriage. 

Post # 6
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

creeative1:  We’ve discussed that stuff long before getting engaged…and I think most sane people understand that it’s not about the wedding/ring.

Post # 10
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

creeative1:  I find this post rather condescending. You claim to be humble and know that you don’t have it all together, yet you’re on here advising on how to have a good lasting marriage when you yourself have only been married a year?

Post # 11
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I feel like if you live together before marriage (which I would say most people do nowadays) then most of these questions are already discussed. Sure, marriage makes it legal but I really feel like once you commit to that “lifetime together” feeling and living together, your lives are already merged, married or not.

Post # 12
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

a_day_at_the_fair:  I think she was just reflecting on her own first year of marriage. What I think she was trying to get at was with all the craziness that happens before a wedding, it’s what happens after that day is what counts. 

Post # 13
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t believe in the whole “don’t go to bed angry” thing. I think going to bed mad is sometimes the absolute best choice you can make. I used to hate the idea of it and we would be up arguing until 2 am, overtired and just getting more and more worked up and angry. Having to wake up and go to work the next morning on such little sleep only made the situation worse.

We decided that going to bed mad was the best option for us. We can both get a good night’s sleep, wake up refreshed, and be ready to face the problem with clear minds the next day. Half the time, we realize there was never even a problem to begin with! It was just one/both of us being tired and cranky. I think saying “never go to bed mad” is not necessarily good advice, at least not for everyone.

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