(Closed) This is going to be a VENT, so apologies for that.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

In all honesty, I would think you and your hubby were around the same age group based on the picture you posted. Your hubby’s co-worker was out of line and it’s none of his business. Please don’t let other people’s comments make you feel bad (although it’s hard) because it’s not worth it. The best way to prove them wrong is for your marriage and love to continue to florish.

On a side note: I dated a guy who was 10 years my senior before I was married. If you saw us together then you could clearly tell he was much older than me. I looked like a high school student next to him and I was finishing up college.

Post # 4
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with you; you and DH do not look like you are that far apart in age. Even if you were, it’s not anyone’s business but the two of you since you are both consenting adults.

His coworker was most definitely out of line but at least he figured out he was. That counts for a very meager something! It’s entirely inappropriate to discuss marital status and state at the workplace and if it persists, DH can certainly take it up with the manager or HR. I hope that the coworker will not bring it up again and certainly, while DH should be cordial (they still have to work together), he doesn’t have to be extra social or anything.

I know you’re sensitive about this issue but I hope you can learn to let it go. People always have their opinions, whether it’s about gay marriages, interracial marraiges, etc. and really, none of their opinions matter. You’re two adults that are in love and happy together. That’s all that matters. Ignore the people that want to make it an issue and embrace the people that see you two for who you are.

Post # 5
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

While what that guy did wasn’t cool (because you’re right, why say something AFTER the marriage?), I feel like this sounds like something maybe he had to do. Maybe he is making amends in his own life, and this is one of the things that, for some reason, was bothering him. True, he could’ve found a better time/place/whatever to say it, but I think you are over-reacting just a little, specifically BECAUSE of your age difference. Clearly, you guys have been judged on this a lot, so it’s a hot topic for you guys. I dated a guy 12 yrs older than me for a year and a half before my DH, and we got it all the time – so, I understand what that feels like.

Look at it this way: while he probably shouldn’t have said anything to your DH at all, it’s better that he chose to apologize for his being judgemental, rather than everyone else who may judge you and don’t realize why it’s wrong. 

As far as how you look, I agree – you don’t look very far apart!

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Dude is obviously socially impaired and/or flat-out crazy. Your husband should stay as far away as possible before he ends up in this guy’s basement for other imaginary crimes.

Post # 7
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@AcheneMalefic:  It’s ok. The guy sounds like a total douche. My SO is 14 years older than me.

The only person that looks stupid here is your husband’s coworker!

Post # 8
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

even if he thought that there is no need for him to share his thoughts. you def look very close to the same age in the pic, though

Post # 9
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@StephieBee:  This is what I thought originally. I have been very judgemental before, and I have gone out of my way to apologize to certain people (not everyone, some people didn’t need to know what I thought).

Post # 11
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

HAHAHAHAHAAHA Sorry. I know you’re fuming but I love that this guy is so convinced of his own self importance that he thinks your husband would care what his thoughts are on your relationship.

I feel bad for your husband for having to work with this jerk. Hopefully he can just keep it strictly professional and avoid all his invites to any events outside of work.

By the way, could you be any more radiant in that picture?! You guys are adorable. Don’t let this loser take up another minute of your time. So not worth it.

As for other people who say it try to remembe what you wrote. You guys are clearly on the same page, you communicate well and you have tons in common. That is rare and the age shouldn’t really factor in. Who cares what some random lady at the supermarker thinks?

Post # 12
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@AcheneMalefic:  Understandable. I did date a guy 10 years my senior once, so I remember the looks and the judgement. Hopefully he gets fired or transferred for being incompetent, which it seems like he might be…. Seriously, who does this to someone they haven’t actually hurt in the past?

ETA: I asked my SO how old he thinks you two are, he suggest 25 (you) and 27 (you husband). So at least you don’t look it!!

Post # 13
Member
2860 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@AcheneMalefic:  Some people are complete idiots. Just remember that and don’t get upset.

Post # 14
Member
7297 posts
Busy Beekeeper

The guy was a busybody ass, realized he was a busybody ass, and decided to no longer be a busybody ass. So he apologized for being a busybody ass.

… I guess the BEST best thing would have been to just do all that quietly, but his approach is definitely better than ignorantly continuing to be a busybody ass, right?

Post # 15
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Don’t listen to him. There will always be pricks in life who just want to say something mean, and they will FIND something. I actually think it speaks highly of you two that the best he could come up with was the age difference in your marriage. I have no doubt he would have snarked on your looks, your car, your financial situation, etc., if he could have found that (or something like that) in the least bit lacking.

The topic ‘This is going to be a VENT, so apologies for that.’ is closed to new replies.

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