This is not normal, right? (Am I missing something?)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you ever spend the night at family member's houses "Just because" (No alcohol involved).
    Sure regularly. Seems perfectly normal around here. : (54 votes)
    17 %
    Every once in a while, and I'll tell you why below. : (68 votes)
    21 %
    No, but I would. I don't think it's weird. : (132 votes)
    40 %
    Totally weird? Why on Earth would you want to do that? : (72 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Mrs.LemonDrop:  When I lived close to my parents I never stayed the night, I always went home to my apartment. However, my MILs husband has kids that crash at their place ALL the time. They are all 24+ and it is not uncommon for them to stay the night on weekdays or weekends (this annoys my MIL greatly but she deals with it).

    So, I suppose it CAN be normal 

    Post # 4
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I spend the night at my grandmother’s occasionally. She is 82 and needs help often and will need it VERY early in the morning. I lived an hour away from her so it made sense. I am 29 and have my own place but I dont find that weird. I dont sleep at other family members’ homes bc there is no reason to.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I guess it depends on the family and relationships. But you should just tell her, you appreciate the offer but you like to sleep in your own bed. 

    ETA: The night my grandad was probably going to die (and did) we were there (he died at home) and said our goodbyes and were going to leave. And my grandmother made a “joke” about me spending the night, I could sleep on grandad’s side of the bed.

    Surprised No thank you…

    Post # 6
    Member
    2252 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I’m guessing your grandma just enjoys spending time with you. But, since your husband is away maybe your grandparents are concerned that kith might be lonely? Or not want to be home alone all the time? Or, maybe she’s worried about your safety? It could be a generational thing. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I don’t think it’s weird that she’s *asking* but I definitely wouldn’t feel obligated to stay over if I were you.

    Post # 8
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    She probably just misses you and wants to do some of those grandma type things with you like make your favorite breakfast and such. I don’t really know what is “normal” as my granparents all passed when I was young. If you aren’t up for the sleepover, maybe offer to swing by the next morning for some cinabon rolls and bacon.

    The other possibility is that she is worried about you being alone and/or driving home late by yourself. If that’s the case, maybe a check-in call when you get home could make her feel better.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5295 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I live about 20 minutes from my parents and would never stay over there ever. Like you I enjoy the comfort of my own bed thanks!

    Post # 10
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Aww I think its sweet. She probably thinks you’re lonely (and maybe she is a little bit too?). Every now and then I (or even my DH and I) will spend the night at my parents’ house. They live an hour away and if we happen to be in that area and don’t feel like driving all the way back home then its a convenient stop and we get to catch up with them.

    I really don’t think its that strange to do every once in a while. I was very close to my grandparents and I wouldn’t have hesitated to stay over.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4441 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @Mrs.LemonDrop:  I’m with you, I don’t really get it.  Just start using your cat as an excuse 😉

    Post # 12
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    My parents ask this all the time, but I always just say No and explain that I really prefer to sleep at home.  I guess they are just old and it sounds like so much fun to them.  It’s kind of sweet I guess, but definitley not my cup of tea. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    7410 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I spend time at my sisters and cousin and best friends houses all the time and they live 5-10 mins from me. My H also spends the night at his friends houses. Sometimes it is just easier.

    I definately do not think it is weird that your grandmaother wants to spend time with you. She probably rememebrs when you used to stay over as a child and how much joy it gave her. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1025 posts
    Bumble bee

    I do not like staying at home by myself for extended periods of time, and we also don’t live in a great neighbourhood. Sometimes (maybe 1 out of seven nights) that my husband is gone I will go and stay with my parents just because it’s nice to not be alone.

    I’ve also stayed with my MIL a few times, same thing both our DH’s are gone (hunting.camping together) and it’s nice to have company. Also last time I was really sick and she felt like taking care of me. I was fine with that.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I’ve lived within 20 minutes of my parents since they’re very close to my job. We just recently bought a house about a 3 minute walk from them. I haven’t spent the night at their house since I moved my bed (and obviously everything else) out 7 years ago.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I don’t see it as odd at all. You are still and will always be her little granddaughter and I’m sure she thinks you’re lonely being home alone and wants to keep you close. Cherish these days, our grandparents don’t get to be in our lives for very long. By that I don’t mean sleep over everytime she asks, but I’m sure once in a while wouldn’t hurt and she’d love it.

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