(Closed) This is petty but I need to vent

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would be unnerved by this as well…I don’t know if you could outright ask him, but maybe you could mention in conversation that you’ve got deposits/payments due, and it’s just so expensive. Maybe that could lead for him to offer again? I don’t think it’s petty, I think it would be unfair for him to go back on his word, especially since weddings are so expensive and since he’s assisting your sister. My parents paid for both mine and my sister’s college, but her’s cost $43,000 a year and mine cost $18,000 a year, and my parents are helping us out for the wedding since her college cost soooo much more than mine; IMO, that’s fair.

Post # 5
Member
6125 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Mrscdnnavywife:  Ah!  So he gave some but the rest is coming later, OK.

Basically, if I were you (and I had a dad that promised the world too, he was a gambling addict though, may be rest in peace), I would just plan my wedding as is – that means plan and budget with the funds that you have now between the gift he gave you, your savings, your FI’s savings and that’s it.  Basically do not count on future money from him.  Do not enter it into your budget.

That way if you do get it, consider it a wedding gift. 

This is the only way I can see avoiding heartache and future issues.  You might be disappointed still, but at least it won’t fock up your budget!

Post # 7
Member
6125 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Mrscdnnavywife:  If he has not grown up at this age, then I don’t think he will change/grow up.  I am sorry.  I’d act as if I’d nver see it. I am sorry.

My dad told us girls that he was going to sell his spare condo, divvy the proceeds among us girls so we can pay tuition.  He took the $50k and gambled it all away in one night.  Then later, we learned he gambled away all his retirement right up until the day he died and left my mom with $6.13 to put on a funeral.  I know disappointment!  I totally understand where you are coming from.  Act as if they will never change.

ETA:  The tuition thing all worked out thanks to me.  I paid off all my student loans before I graduated with my Master’s.  Something I am VERY proud of doing it by myself.  After he passed, I learned from family that he told everyone he put all his girls through college which is such a lie!  Makes me so mad!

The topic ‘This is petty but I need to vent’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors