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This IS the worst case scenario

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
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    1.
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    274 posts
    Helper bee
    Chartreuse    March 6, 2010   Belize

    The wedding is Saturday, and the grooms grandmother just passed away in the ICU, after a week in there.  Besides one of our parents dying, I'm pretty sure that this is the WORST thing that could've happened.  She had a host of complications from diabetes and addison's disease.  And after being admitted they discovered she had some sort of bone cancer.  Her bones were hollow and so brittle that if they were to try to resusitate her, they said her rib cage would've broken.  I know her suffering is over now, but those left behind are the ones with the pain now.  Especially the grooms mother, who the grandmother lived with.  Please pray that she will have the strength to deal with all of this.  This SUCKS SO BAD!!!!  BTW this comes after we had to wait several years to plan our wedding, because, first, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, then shortly after she was done with her treatment, the grooms dad was diagnosed with cancer in his neck.  He finished his treatment in October, and we said let's hurry get married before something ELSE happens.  Well guess what,  Something else HAPPENED....3 days before the damn wedding....  Ugh..... WHAT NEXT?????  Up until 2 weeks ago, I knew it was going too smoothly to be true.....

     
    2.
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    2,267 posts
    Buzzing bee
    veganglam    January 5, 2013   Philadelphia; Wedding in NYC

    Oh no.  I am so sorry.  This is truly sad and very bad timing, but hopefully your wedding will help to lift FMIL and FI's spirits some.  I'm so sorry again. My thoughts are with you and your FI's family!

     
    3.
    Member
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    hourieg    July 2010   CA

    Wow .. I'm sorry. 

     
    4.
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    6,351 posts
    Bee Keeper
    jordynrose    October 16, 2010   Las Vegas, NV/Chandler, AZ

    I am very sorry to hear this!  While this is a terrible tragedy, at least you can take comfort in the fact that FI's grandmother is no longer suffering.  Also, thankfully his mother and father are currently in stable health.  My thoughts are with you and your family.  You will make it to the wedding day without any more sorrow.  I am sure of it!  Try to keep your spirits up.  You are in my thoughts.

     
    5.
    Member
    1,365 posts
    Bumble bee
    Vitsippa    October 10, 2010  

    Frown My condolence to you and your family. But I'm sure grandma wanted to see the two of you finally married. I hope his Mom will find strength in new beginnings.

     
    6.
    Member
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    Sep_Queen    September 4, 2010  

    Sorry for your FH loss that is a tough situation...

     
    7.
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    47 posts
    Newbee
    Nightravyn    July 17, 2010   Mississippi

    We had to deal with something like this a few years ago. My grandmother died and we buried her the day before my cousin, who had been the one family member with her at the time (she passed quickly), got married. It wasn't a case of him having delayed the wedding multiple times like yourself, but it still made him and his now-wife pause for a moment and ask the collected family if they should wait and marry later. The whole family said for them to get married, that it would be what my grandmother would have wanted, which was completely true. As it ended up, several of us that weren't sure if we could make it to their small wedding got leave from our jobs for the funeral and stayed for their wedding, so more family was able to be there than original plans said.

    Go forward with it. Don't ignore that it happened. You might choose to honor her memory at some point in the day. ::hugs:: to you and your soon to be husband on the loss. 

     
    8.
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    Bee
    1,344 posts
    Bumble bee
    mssocks    October 10, 2010  

    I'm so sorry for your loss...I'm sure this is a very difficult time for your family, but just think...on Saturday, everyone will have a reason to celebrate!  Are you thinking of doing something to honor her memory?  It might help those who are grieving to acknowledge her passing so they can move on to happier thoughts for your day.

     

     
    9.
    Member
    2,467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Janna19    June 7, 2008   New York

    I am so sorry.  My grandmother, who I was incredibly close with, passed away a month before our wedding.  THe one thought that helped us that might help you - was that she was too sick to attend the wedding, so we liked to believe that passing away before our wedding was her way of being there with us.....I put her picture in a locket that I wrapped around my bouquet.  We also had the officiant mention all the grandparents who weren't able to be with us that day - hearing her name in the ceremony ended up being more sweet than sad for us in the end.

     
    10.
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    5,184 posts
    Bee Keeper
    2PeasinaPod       Philadelphia

    Oh goodness, this is terrible. I'm so sorry for you and your family. Like you said, at least now she's no longer suffering. Of course that doesn't make it any easier on those you've left behind. My grandmother passed away in October at the age of 92. She also lived with my parents, and my mom was devastated. When your mother lives with you for over 20 years, it's so hard to let that go. Taking care of her becomes your life.

    Please give our condolences to your family. And please come here if you need to vent. Have you thought of a possible way that you can honor her during either the ceremony or the reception? It might be a moment of sadness in the day, but it would be very honorable to try something like that if you were thinking of it.

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

     
    11.
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    1,133 posts
    Bumble bee
    rachelss    August 22, 2010   Fort Collins, CO

    In Jewish tradition there is a spot at the beginning of the ceremony to mention those who cannot join us for the wedding. Could you mention his grandmother's passing at the beginning of the ceremony? I know it's a sad way to start a wedding, but it's also a way to acknowledge what has happened. Sending positive thoughts your way. I am sure grandmother would want only happiness for the two of you.

     
    12.
    Hostess
    10,923 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    bakerella    September 11, 2010   Toronto, ON

    Oh I'm so sorry. It's so hard to grieve and yet to be excited for other things in your life. It's so conflicting. A friend of mine (just got married last weekend), her uncle passed away about 2 days before her wedding. Wedding was Saturday, funeral was Sunday. The family will be sad yes, but the wedding willl also be a good opportunity for them to take a break from the difficult emotions, smile, celebrate life, and reset. I'm sure your FI's grandmother would want you to have a beautiful day and know that she would have loved to be there celebrating with you. If it were me, I would do what someone mentioned previously, and ask for a few moments to pause and reflect for FI's grandmother. Maybe have some of her favourite flowers incorporated if it's not too late?

    Best of luck on your day sweetie. We'll all be sending you happy thoughts.

     
    13.
    Member
    661 posts
    Busy bee
    Habibah14    October 24, 2010   Fairfield County, Connecticut

    Thoughts and prayers to your family, maybe the wedding will bring everyone closer so they can celebrate a new start to a life together and celebrate the life of another. Wishing you a life of love and happiness!

     
    14.
    1,906 posts
    Buzzing bee
    VirginiaMarie    January 2011   Austin, TX

    I'm sorry for you loss :(   I think Nightravyn gave great advice tho!

     
    15.
    Member
    3,340 posts
    Sugar bee
    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    Though it's a very very sad time right now, I think that your wedding will be the perfect thing to help move forward and celebrate life. After all, grandparents are responsible for a lot of that day, you know? She would be happy and proud that you and your family will be gathered together in such a positive way. When my great grandmother passed, it was sad, but at the funeral and wake everybody talked about all the good things about her, and shared a lot of laughs and great memories. Wishing you the best of luck!

     
    16.
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    2,497 posts
    Buzzing bee
    kayakgirl73    October 31, 2009   Virginia, (wedding in WV)

    Prayers. I think I would continue on with the wedding as it gives folks something else to focus on.  Most grandparents, I think would want the wedding to continue on. Hopefully the funeral home can be flexible with the visitation and funeral hours. Of course when to hold the funeral whether before or after the wedding would depend a lot on family custom.

    Another thing to think about are there many guests coming who have already paid for travel who may or may not know the decesed.

     

     

     
    17.
    Member
    943 posts
    Busy bee
    Helstrong    April 9, 2011   Overland Park, KS

    I'm so sorry. I don't have the words to make this situation better for you. I hope that you can all remember her fondly on Saturday and still enjoy the celebration of your new life with fiance.

    You're in my prayers.

     
    18.
    Hostess
    5,332 posts
    Bee Keeper
    trugem    January 2011  

    I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

     

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