Post # 1
Planning this wedding is no longer fun. Everything is such a battle. Mom and I are always bickering. Grandma won’t stop giving me “polite suggestions” that she hammers into the ground and gets upset if I don’t use them. And now FI and I have been fighting for 2 days for absolutely no reason other than he’s tired and I’m frustrated with this stupid wedding.
It’s 2 months away, and I just want to call it off and elope. It’s not that I don’t want to be married to my FI, I am just tired of the GETTING there part. But I can’t cancel everything at this point. My bridesmaids dresses just came in (yesterday), peoples plane tickets have been bought (from out of the country), etc, etc.
I am just so sad and sick and tired of this wedding. It’s not fun anymore, and it’s just driving a wedge between me and FI. I wish we could just run away and elope.
Post # 3
It happens to a lot of us – planning a wedding is STRESSFUL!!!! I would take a couple of days off, and regroup. Make decisions, and stick to them. Be FIRM with people (we’ve already decided on that” and change the subject or walk away). I’m looking at you, Grandma!
Post # 4
I feel like I could have written this myself. I wish I had some advice for you, but I am going through the same exact thing right now. And it sucks. I feel like family and the bridal party is ruining this whole experience for us. It’s just not fun anymore. Hang in there and know that you are NOT alone.
Post # 5
I also feel like I could have written that. We’re 4 months out, and FI said to me last night “you’re right, we should have just eloped” It makes me so sad! It definitely sucks when everyone is arguing and bickering. It’s not worth it!!! Hang in there girl!!
Post # 6
A few weeks back, I went through the same thing. I felt like the wedding was driving me crazy and just kind of wanted the whole process to be over and done with. All I can recommend is just to try and maybe take a break from wedding planning or thinking about anything wedding related for a while (a few days or a week maybe if you can spare the time). Go out with some friends or go on a date with your fiance and just enjoy life outside of the wedding. I did this and it helped me out quite a bit when I was feeling sad and overwhelmed. I hope you feel better soon!
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Take a couple of days off from planning. Have a date with FI this weekend- NO wedding talk allowed. It will work wonders!
Post # 8
@rebwana: Completely agree!
Definately have a weeding free week, or at least a couple of days. Quit talking to your mom and Grandma about every little detail, giv ethem specifics and stick with “That has already been taken care of, this is what we decided.”
Post # 9
@rebwana: I compleatly agree!
Sometimes you just have to step back and RELAX! If you and your FI need a break then have a date night or each of you go and do your own thing for a day. The day before the wedding my DH told me to get out of the house and relax because I was freaking out about everything but before that I only had 4 months to plan it all. It was very stressful but he always told me to shut up and go read a book (my way of relaxing) if I was getting too worked up. He even surprised me on occasion with a trip out of the house to a non-wedding-related location where we could both have fun. You still have 2 months to plan everything. One or two days relaxing isn’t going to mess the whole thing up.
Post # 10
@Valerita: I totally understand. I cried more than not when planning our wedding. My suggestion to you is to
1) Stop talking to your mother for a few days. Ignore phone calls or keep convos short, ie “Let me call you back, my doctor/dentist/boss is on the other line” and then dont.
2) Take a few days and don’t wedding plan or think about the wedding. Take a day with your FI and go to the park, relax, hold hands, and enjoy each other
I hope this helps! We here at the Bee know what you’re going thtrough!
Post # 11
I’m so sorry! I cried more in the last few months of wedding planning that I ever have in my entire life. While I always say I would never plan another wedding, my wedding came out better than I could have imagined and it was worth every tear.
Try to take a small break, even if it’s a cup of coffee with a friend and don’t talk about the wedding. Also, delegate tasks. Most of the big stuff is done by now so ask those around you if they can help, most people are very willing.
Post # 12
I’m so sorry you are dealing with family pressures, that sucks! I concur with all the previous: take a week (or more!) OFF from wedding planning. Guess what- it will be ok!
My only other suggestion is to delegate some stuff- to your FI, your BMs, and maybe your Mom or Grandma (haha) if you can accept that they might not do it the way you would have, but it will be done. Lighten your load so you don’t need to stress over all the details.
and lastly, over and over again from recent brides I hear- don’t sweat the small stuff! guests don’t notice! We get so caught up and worry about a million things, and really all that a wedding needs is two people in love and a few guests there to witness it and everyone be happy and celebrate.
Post # 13
Thanks everyone. Just knowing that I’m not the only one going through all of this makes me feel much better.
Unfortunately, FI and I are long-distance for one more month, so I can’t spend the weekend with him (I just visited him this past weekend). And I’m stuck in my mother’s house for the rest of this week to do wedding errands… Yeah, didn’t plan this well. I’ve decided that instead of doing wedding errands, I’ve been focusing on the “post-wedding” stuff ahead of me (i.e. getting ready to move into our apartment), and that’s been really helpful.
I’m just so ready for all this wedding stress to be over with, you know? I’m not talking to my grandma for a while (just out of sheer insanity), and mom is so focused on tax stuff right now so she’s finally off my back for a little while. I’m just going to move stuff into storage and try to get past this fight with the FI by myself. My MOH is supposed to be coming tomorrow to work on hostess gifts, but I love her, she has a great habit of only letting us talk about the fun aspect of wedding planning (and if it ever gets into the stress of it, she pretty much says “**** this, lets talk about something fun” and we laugh).
The only good thing about all of this is, I seem to have taken a hearty dose of the drug Scruitol (Screw it all) and am not stressing so much about the little details. @mtnhoney is right, guests don’t notice anyway. I’m just so sick of crying and freaking out because everyone has an opinion! No more opinions. I don’t even care about my own anymore. Ha!
Post # 14
@Valerita: I’m feeling very much the same as you! There is so much to do, so many details, so many things on my fiances list (and I am TRYING not to nag about getting them done…things I can’t do, like get measured for the tux!) and so many opinions that I just don’t want to hear!! lol….but now that I found out about Scruitol from your post, I may have to self-medicate and I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow morning! lol – that made my day! 🙂
Post # 15
hee hee I have been there! I totally take a week or two off every now and again and sneak in a quick date with FI when I can:)
Post # 16
Trust me, you are not alone in this. I have considered the exact same thing. My divorced parents are being very immature, I am having bridesmaid drama where my old friend is feeling insecure (yes just like the movie!), worrying about money, and all that fun stuff. However, I figure the day will all be worth it. You will be marrying the man you love. You two should have a day for yourselves where you do not discuss the wedding at all. Just a relaxing day like cooking a nice meal at home, going hiking, or getting a couple’s massage.