(Closed) This isn't MY wedding….is it? On hating my wedding….

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

eloping could be exciting! 

Post # 4
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Are you sure your fiance is making you feel stuck to the wedding because of the deposit and not because he wants the wedding? If he wants the wedding, it wouldn’t be fair to elope. Otherwise, it sounds like that’s what you’re leaning towards and may be worth it.

Post # 5
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

If you really want to elope (and your Fiance is happy with that option too) then you should elope.  I will say that $1700 is not a tiny amount of money to me though – your Fiance may see that amount of money differently to you. Particularly if one of you was unemployed for a period of time.  That would not stop me eloping as you’d be saving money anyway but it would give me pause when contemplating changing venue.

I think it’s important to remember that your wedding will represent you because it is you and your Fiance getting married that day. It’s no one else’s wedding and it’s only a trend of recent decades that weddings have to be personalised, amazingly unique events. I totally understand wanting the ceremony and reception of your dreams, I just mean don’t lose heart because of the change from your original vision. DIY decorations and some lighting can do amazing things to even quite bland venues. Does the venue have photos of previous events they could show you so you could get a feel for what is possible or to see if it looks better when it is all dressed up? Ultimately what you will remember about your wedding day is being so happy to marry your Fiance, not all the details like decorations and stuff though 🙂


Post # 6
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Have you talked to your Fiance about how you feel…?


If you cancel so far out you can prob get back at least some of your deposit… maybe advertise to get someone to “buy out” your reservation/booking of the hall?


If your Fiance WANTS the wedding, then you guys need to find a way to compromise…


If he just feels stuck because of the deposits then stuff the deposits and elope…


Just talk to him and tell him what you wrote here… Start your marriage now and find a compromise between the two of you 😉


Also, I agree with a previous poster that 1.5k is not a small sum of money by any stretch of the immagination, but it is still cheaper than continuing to shell out money for a wedding/party you dont reall want.

Post # 7
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

We had paid a $2000 deposit when we changed venues, Fiance wasn’t totally happy at the time but now he’s completely on board. Maybe it’s time for a big heart to heart?

Post # 9
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Miss Moxy:  That is why I am eloping and having a wedding to satisfy the families…Just wrote a whole post where I explained my decision. But, this wedding planning process has lost a lot of meaning behind who Fiance & I are so we will sign our marriage certificate with a judge the weekend before the wedding – just the two of us. Then, instead of a traditional wedding ceremony & reception, we will have a public declaration of love and recite our vows publicly then have a big party. The day where we sign our marriage cerificate can be all about us and reflect who we are while the big party day can be about the families & friends. 

Post # 10
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Miss Moxy:  Gosh, that’s a tough situation.  I’m sorry it’s so rough right now.  It’s no fun at all when you feel like everything’s falling apart and you can’t even remember why you wanted the wedding in the first place.

Do you like to read?  I have found a few books that have helped me think about and resolve a lot of the same issues you’re having.  They don’t give you any direct answers, but they might help you think about things and sort through your emotions.  Here are my favorites:

The Conscious Bride, by Sheryl Nissinen

Let’s Elope, by Scott Shaw and Lynn Beahan

How to Have the Wedding You Want, by Danielle Claro (this one is from the mid-90s, but her writing made me laugh, and she’s got good tips)

Good luck!  I hope you figure out what feels right for you and your fiance. 🙂

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