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This just makes me sad.... (article)

posted 5 months ago in Relationships
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    1.
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    Busy bee
    MeganTacky2247    May 5, 2012   Cincinnati, OH

    http://shine.yahoo.com/financially-fit/marriage-chances-rise-salary-195200744.html

    I just pray so hard that when FI and I stay together for the long haul. Obviously eveyone who gets married wishes for that. But I also hope it so that when we have children, we can show them what a relationship looks like. Like most of us with our grandparents or great grandparents. Its almost obsolete for parents (if your in the 20 - 28 year old bracket) to be married anymore. It truly is so so sad.

     
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    Bumble bee
    jocember    August 17, 2013   Syracuse, NY

    You know what's kinda funny, though? Almost all of my friends from high school and college had parents who were still married. I can only think of two off the top of my head whose parents are divorced - the rest are quite happily married.

    I think people jump into marriage without really thinking about the lifetime commitment they're making. It's not enough to just love someone a whole bunch. You have to be willing to work together through the good, the bad and the downright ugly. You have to be good partners first, and lovers second (in my opinion).

     
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    Helper bee
    MsMonkey    June 1, 2013   Denver, CO

    @jocember: I agree 100%! 

    My parents are the prime "example" of what I'd like to emulate in a marriage. Did they get along perfectly? No! Now that I'm an adult, I can list 5-6 SERIOUS issues they struggled with, issues that many couples divorce over these days (these issues are not infidelity or abuse, but incredibly real and painful issues). When I was about 12, my mom told my dad she wanted a divorce. He looked at her and said, "I don't buy it." They went to counseling and they just celebrated 30 years of marriage..and they're sickeningly in love. The sappy "in-love" feeling ebbs and flows, lust fades, and life throws crap at you...but I think a lot of people forget that they must remain partners in spite of all of this...and as long as BOTH people are willing to do that, I think a lifelong commitment is totally possible :) 

     
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    Bee Keeper
    amnystik    April 9, 2011   Texas

    Hmmm idk if I can agree with the article at all. I think that the financial security aspect is only a symptom of getting married and lasting and that it's more about a worldview than anything else that is purely circumstantial.

    They found that many people who said that they WANTED to get married didn't really believe in the institution of it?.... Ummmm that sounds like the real probably to me. lol. How in the world can you expect something to work that you don't even believe works in the first place? yea... that won't cut it.

    DH and I both come from "broken" homes, and are WELL aware of the damage that causes for our marriage and that that alone, if not recognized & purposefully changed, puts us at greater risk of divorce... regardless of our financial stance or anything else.

    Idk... it's almost like saying money fixes money problems, which we all know isn't true and that it's discipline and hardwork that really fixes & creates financial security.... to me, it's the same with marriage.

     

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