(Closed) This may be a a little too personal but I need opinions!

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
9620 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve read a lot of your posts but never have responded to any until now.  I’m so sorry you’re stressed and dealing with so much turmoil in your life right now.  HUGS!!

However, it sounds from this as though your issue may be hormonally related.  You may want to see a doctor and try to get some medical help for yourself.  I wish you all the best!

 

Post # 4
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have been following some of your posts, and I thought your goal was to remain celibate?

I’m sorry you didn’t get the advice you wanted to hear on here. You clearly stated there were doubts and problems within your relationship but when people gave you advice you now say “honestly didn’t help and has you questioning your relationship” well isn’t that what you were already doing? Perhaps people can relate to your situation and have hind sight value for what you are in right now. Perhaps you just don’t want to hear it?

I really recommend speaking with a counselor if you are not already.

Post # 6
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

I’m really sorry. Could it be that you’re frustrated because you’ve been waiting for a long time? I’ve been slightly more bitchy recently and it’s because of the stress from graduating college together with the stress of waiting for so long and knowing it’s so close…

Post # 7
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

From what I’ve read of your posts, it seems as though it’s most likely an issue that isn’t related to your boyfriend, and is an issue of yours emotionally.

If you don’t mind me asking, what was it about the comments you received that you didn’t agree with? what is it you were looking to hear?

If you went home to see family, did they make you feel happier? maybe your sex drive has improved because you were in a happier environment at home and that’s been reflected in your relationship?

I went through a horrible time at university and had feelings of depression (although in my case it was social anxiety) and it really affected the relationship I was in. I spoke to a counselor, I didn’t take meds, but I did research anxiety and although it was hard I did a lot to try and stop how negative I was feeling.

Also – why are you worried about your sex drive coming back? What do you think has happened for you to be worried about?

Post # 9
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

@KaylieJordan14:  I understand how you feel completely. But look at your relationship the way it is now: the fact that the honeymoon phase is wearing off doesn’t mean that you will end up like your parents, or that the happiness will go away. It just means that you’re entering a more profound and mature level of love, one that you did not have access to before, when you were fighting so much. You will have to get over tough times but given that you guys have been through so much I believe you are more than capable of doing it.

And yes, seeing everyone else get engaged and be giddy is very hard. I’m going through that too. I also know he probably has the ring and I’m like “just ask me already…” but that’s my personal story. And I’m a big overthinker and hypochondriac as well. Really big.

From what you’re saying it sounds like it’s both just the annoyance of waiting and the fact that you’re afraid now that you’re getting more comfortable and exiting the giddy honeymoon phase you might slip back into fighting, or be unhappy in your relationship, or that it might end in divorce like your parents…

Post # 11
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Here’s the deal: You need to get professional counseling ASAP. I think I’ve said that on almost all of your posts now. Your anxiety has to be killing you (at least your sex drive).

Post # 12
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@KaylieJordan14:  Also, the majority of divorces also come from the fact that young people saw the red flags but refused to acknowledge and move on.

Post # 14
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you should go back and read all 5 of your posts and also the responses. Look at what you said, and what you asked. I really could not find any posts about anyone telling you if you feel weird , leave your partner….

Post # 15
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Kaylie – you should try doing some reading about being an introvert. Once you do that then read about how introverts have trouble in a world where 75% of peeps are extroverts.

I’m not saying you are one, but you might be a little bit, and introverts CANNOT compare themselves and their relationships in any way with extroverts. It is not a healthy practice. You will always feel that you are not living up to what you should be doing, but that is not true, you are doing what you should be doing, as an introvert.

Having this realization a few years ago and doing a little reading on it saved my sanity and made me realize I’m not a ‘worrier’ who habitually made mountains out of molehills – it was my very nature to think so much about things, and then i just had to be careful with how I handled all the things I thought about and honestly evaluate which ones needed more attention and which ones I could say – okay, I thought a lot about that, got lots of perspective, and now I’m happy to shelve it.

You may not be one at all, but there is no harm on reading up about it – just google it.

 

Good luck girl!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

We didn’t say “oh man leave him today!” we asked you to tell us more about your relationship.  You told us you wanted a Christian relationship, so we questioned whether you were making the right choices and whether he was the one for you. 

I, also, thought you were trying to remain celibate?

To be frank, I think you have no clue what you want, are having a crisis of faith, and need professional counseling.

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