This turned into a crap show… I'm at the end of my rope!!!

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
5163 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: San Francisco City Hall

I didn’t get beyond the cheating.  I am Christian and sought individual counseling at church during my first marriage where they told me that infidelity was grounds for divorce.  Your DH has REPEATEDLY disrespected you and continues to cheat on you.  It must be so disheartening to be going through life with such an awful scumbag and you deserve more.  I can’t imagine how you have held on for 8 years.

Time to divorce, set yourself free!

ETA: I was also 24 when the divorce from my first marriage was finalized.  I literally cried tears of joy that day. It was such an amazing feeling to be free, to have another chance to live my life to the fullest.  I am now happily re-married and pregnant with my first child.  24 is young!  Don’t stress about letting go of garbage.  This isn’t a failure but lesson learned.

Post # 33
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m sorry you are going through this.  It sounds like you did your best to encourage him and save your marriage.  Unfortunately you can’t force someone to care if they don’t care.  You can only control your own actions.  So now you have the choice to either:

1) Accept that he’ll never change.  And if you choose to remain married to him that means you will continuously be disrespected and caring for a man child.  And having kids with him will be hard because you will be like a single mom because he is unreliable and unsupportive… And that your kids will think his actions are acceptable and may follow his lead in what they expect in a relationship.  Or,

2) Move on with your life even if that means leaving him.  Having to find a better life partner who can share the responsibilities as a spouse and can treat you with respect.

I really hate suggesting divorce as I think divorce should be the last resort.  However I seen what happened to marriages and family with someone who clearly does not care for anyone but themselves.  And it really is sad and I sympathize the spouse who has to work 200% harder to support their family just because the other one doesn’t care.  Frankly they seem more ashamed, embarrassed and disappointed about their spouse.

So should you go the route of divorcing I don’t think you have anything to be embarrassed or ashamed about.  You did your best to save your marriage.  You took your marriage vows seriously.  It’s just a shame that he wouldn’t do the same.

Post # 33
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

You work too hard to be this unhappy!

You deserve more than this. Yes being divorced young is not ideal, however it is better than a life of resentment.

Post # 34
Member
4489 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

This guy isn’t worth your time.  I can’t get over the fact that at 22 he started dating you as a 16 year old.  NO man worth his salt would pursue a minor like that.  This is not a healthy marriage.  It’s time to move on.

Post # 36
Member
10563 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

You have wasted enough time with him.  I think it says quite a bit when a 22 year old is dating a 16 year old.  He isn’t going to grow up.

Post # 38
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

sophieg123 :  will remember you in prayers. Read sermon on the mount n reflect on the Beatitudes. Hugs xx

Post # 39
Member
276 posts
Helper bee

He’s a pathological liar, that’s what it means when he lies about things that literally don’t matter, like what he had for lunch. Please be strong and get out before you wind up so far in debt that there’s no way out. 

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