Those anxiously waiting to TTC

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Miss Joker:  I have dealt with something similar. I am in graduate school, done with coursework. My schedule has never been so flexible and never will be again, pretty much a perfect tme to be pregnant or have a little one, in many ways. However, my graduate school advisor (my boss) doesn’t seem to feel that way, or rather she waited until after she finished her PhD to start having kids. So I guess she expects me to live my life exactly as she has lived hers. She has gone so far as to make comments like “don’t get any ideas!” if we’re talking about a mutual acquaintance who announced a pregnancy.

I struggled for a few months about how to deal with this. I cried to my husband about it. I felt so hurt that she didn’t think I could finish school and start a family at the same time. Like I’m not smart enough or hard-working enough. Not to mention, I felt pretty pissed off that this woman who is supposedly a feminist doesn’t believe I have a choice about when I can start a family. Yell 

My husband has been ready for a kid for about 5 years and he always said it was up to me to decide when we try. I’m just not waiting anymore. We’re ready. As my husband says, “you can’t let others decide on when/how your family takes shape. It’s too important and too personal.”

This week, I found out that my very close coworker is also TTC. So excited for her! And so excited for me that I might not being going through this alone. 

Good luck on your path. 

Post # 5
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

My boss used to say that!

“You can’t get pregnant–we don’t have anyone for your room!”

As opposed to

“Your room is completely batshit insane, don’t go until we have someone trained to take it over!”

It blows! I’m sorry they can’t just compliment you!

Post # 6
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It is frustrating. Starting a family is such a personal thing, people should just keep their opinions to themselves. It’s also hurtful to hear “you shouldn’t be a parent” when you badly want to be. It’s unnecessary and it’s really a downer to hear.

Post # 7
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Miss Joker:  aww, I totally understand where you’re coming from. We’re in a very similar situation, except that we’re already TTC. I’m by far the breadwinner, so there’s no question that I’d be going back to work, but the goal is to have my husband scale back to part time.

I hear the same comments at work too, especially in the past few weeks as I start gearing up to take over a management position. I wish I had some advice, because I could use some too! As long as your supervisors are supportive, try not to let those sort of comments tear you down. And if things do get bad, there are laws out there protecting pregnant women in the workplace. Might be time for a chat with HR, in that case.

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