- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
So .... what how do you respond? 
Adding names? My gosh.
Pintuck_132inch_ONLY_Round_Tablecloth-.jpg (48.1 KB, 34 downloads) 1 year old 12x108_Embroidered_Runner_Champagne.jpg (93.1 KB, 31 downloads) 1 year old 
Yikes! I hope that doesn't happen to us! What are you going to do??
securedownload.jpeg (231.9 KB, 18 downloads) 1 year old 
This isn't an etiquette my guests did, but actually the bride!
Now, most of you know I prefer the route of hand-addressing invites. But more importantly, I think hand addressing the THANK YOU notes is important. I've been to a few showers where they have a blank envelope at your seat for you to fill your return address, "so it saves the bride some trouble" (their words not mine). I had to use all my mouth's strength to keep my jaw from dropping.
GaBGal, I keep reading about that one. It's TERRIBLE! I'm impressed you were able to restrain your jaw.
style_100_Maggie_Sottero_Royale_inspir.jpg (53.4 KB, 27 downloads) 1 year old style_100_Maggie_Sottero_Royale_inspir.jpg (91.8 KB, 25 downloads) 1 year old style_100_Maggie_Sottero_Royale_inspir.jpg (52.7 KB, 24 downloads) 1 year old style_100_Maggie_Sottero_Royale_inspir.jpg (49.6 KB, 23 downloads) 1 year old style_100_Maggie_Sottero_Royale_inspir.jpg (57.6 KB, 23 downloads) 1 year old style_100_Maggie_Sottero_Royale_inspir.jpg (48.5 KB, 24 downloads) 1 year old
Unfortunately it was a relative, and so we've dealt with it three times -- 2 bridal showers and 1 baby shower! We kept out mouths shut out of politeness Smile and nod, and write your address down. but its definitely not an idea my sisters plan to integrate into any of our showers.
Mine is the the RSVPs too. I have had several people RSVP +6, +7, and even +10!!! I did double envelopes, so I really do get how you though Mr and Mrs X actually meant The X family, but whatever. I have had to call all the people to let them know not to show up with 6 univited people. One great-aunt was so offended I was not inviting her 2 children, theirs spouses, and their children (none of which I have actually met btw) that she said she was no longer coming. No prob buddy, one less person I have to pay for...
I have some relatives who don't realize that you really have to rsvp. I have a fear that they will just show up. Who knows how many people they will bring with them. Or, I fear they will rsvp that they are coming and then decide the day of that they don't feel like making the hour and a half drive to the wedding. We are having a sit-down dinner, so this could be a problem. I am not sure how to deal with this.
On my RSVPs I make them choose their entree. I think it probably helps because sure, I can assume they'll be coming, but I'd have no idea what they'd want to eat, and you know how much everyone loves food :p Makes them care a bit more. Luckily I haven't had any problems yet, but we'll see as the days wind down!
wow @ Gabgal.
I have never even heard of such a thing! I would be embarrassed. I am surprised at some of the things people think are "ok" lol.
I am such a stickler when it comes to thank you's. I always make sure mine are out the door within a few weeks or so. I can't believe there are people out there who never send thank you notes for gifts.
I've been to 3 weddings where I was invited as a guest, not as part of my parent's family, and I've brought a gift to each. I have yet to receive a thank you note from ANY of them. That's weird, right?
About addressing your own envelopes - that seems to me like it's in this murky middle ground, since the hostess probably made that call. I definitely believe in hand addressing my thank you's, but if I showed up to my shower and found out that the hostess was asking people to address envelopes, I don't know what I'd do - it would be ungracious to intervene, right? The hostess just thinks she's being helpful.
LOL my FMIL suggested the people addressing their own envelopes.... so I let her do what she wanted 
I didn't know it wasn't proper tho....but it did save us some time!
Wow these are all pretty bad. Personally I was surprised at how many people failed to buy a gift or even a card. And these are people we are close friends with who live in our town!
napkin.jpg (59 KB, 26 downloads) 1 year old
JennyBee - I have the same fear! A lot of friends our age (mid-20s) did not send their RSVP, and when we called them, most who hadn't sent the RSVP said they weren't coming. But I'm terrified if their plans change they'll think "well now I can go to the wedding". No you can't!
I was invited to not one, but two of those "Jack and Jill" parties that are basically a fundraiser for the bride and groom to pay for their wedding. Both parties were for the same couple separated by a few months. I went to highschool with the bride, and we were aquaintances at best... we don't talk anymore but are connected through Facebook... and I'm not invited to the wedding, obviously, nor would I expect to be. I think the only thing to make this even worse is that they are having a destination wedding! How much money do you need to raise to get married in the Domincan Republic? Really?
There is just something about any wedding-related fundraiser that rubs me the wrong way. But especially when you have two fundraising parties, and you are inviting anyone and everyone to squeeze out as much money as possible? I think it is super innapropriate to invite people you don't even talk to ever, who are not coming to the wedding, just to make money.... ugh.
Sorry if this offends anyone, it is just my opinion, and I think totally bad etiquette! And you should be proud, I didn't even use the "T" word!
Those are awful! I have yet to receive a thank you card from either of my cousin's that got married last summer, all I worry about is that the $100+ blender we got one of them made it to their house!
I am really worried about additional people putting their names on the RSVPs as well. I don't know how to be more explicit than to address it to the people we are inviting. Really people, how hard is it?
We're not including children at the reception, so I was worried about people bringing kids. We tried to minimize the appearance of kid-friendliness by choosing a casino/resort and having the wedding in the evening (there is also on-site kid sitting in case guests bring their kids for the weekend). I also plan to use "___ seats have been reserved in your honor." and filling in the number of seats for them. That way, there are no miscommunications.
108998.jpg (11.7 KB, 35 downloads) 1 year old
JoesWifey, I'm doing the same thing, on the back of the RSVP card, I'm asking them to indicate their preferred meal. And my fiance's name is Joe, too!
I also did "We have reserved X seats for you."
I, too, have the same fears re RSVP. My side of the family is originally from another country, and I'm afraid of people just showing up who did not RSVP!!!
candy_jars.JPG (47.3 KB, 51 downloads) 1 year old 
Wow ladies! There are just some really uninformed people out there! I'm a stickler about addressing everything I do by hand, too. I hate when I get an invitation and obviously the bride and groom just typed my address into Excel and printed it onto address labels. Drives me nuts! I'm very particular about things being done "right" for my own wedding, though.
I DID have some guy from high school (5 years ago mind you) who I don't even remember at ALL, send me a message on FACEBOOK to ask me if i wanted him to rsvp to my wedding. He's now a photographer, so I assumed that's what he meant and I politely said I already had one but thanks. He responded, saying no, no, i meant do you want me to come to your wedding? I'm in town with family and my girlfriend and want to introduce her to the "gang" from high school. I didn't even know what to say, except that our venue was at full capacity and that there were only going to be a SMALL handful (under 5) of people from high school there. I went to this high school for a total of 3 months my junior year and then my senior year. Not like I was real "tight" with anyone.
But yeah, I was pretty aghast at that one!!! I still don't know who this dude is
Ughhh. The "addressing your own thank you note" kills me! It really gives off the message that the bride does not care enough to properly thank her guests which is rediculous considering all the guests took the time out of their schedules to drive to the store, buy a gift and a card and wrap it all up.
And no excuses for those brides who hostess came up with the idea. You can easily re-write the addresses on fresh envelopes yourself!
This is a personal annoyance of mine!! (If you couldn't tell!) :P
BTW - I addressed all of the RSVP personally ie "Jane & John - will you be attending?" and then had a meal choice line for Jane and one for John and I still had 2 guests adding in extras! These guests were sneaky though and sent me e-mails RSVPing instead of sending back the (self-addressed and stamped) RSVP envelope as they knew they couldn't fudge the RSVP cards that I made!
unreal!
I could totally see my family doing this and adding like 10 additional seats. My father has already volunteered to be the breaker of bad news to them...
I think it's better if somebody else can be the bad guy in this. People have called up my FMIL to ask her if they can "add more" and she knows my policy on that. Makes it easy enough! We're paying for it, and quite frankly, I'm not keen on spending hundreds of extra dollars for people that I could care less about, or how Mr. and Mrs. Doe's daughter cannot bring her boyfriend of 5 months. The invites don't say "mr. and mrs. and family and dates" on it!!!!
Hrm... maybe I'm the only one here, but I thought the envelopes were no big deal. The hostess at the shower I went to (just last weekend, actually) used the envelopes as a drawing for prizes as well, since they didn't play any traditional shower games.
For me I guess it's the thank you note itself that matters. If the envelope saves the bride time hunting down the addresses of those who came (especially if it's a big shower) then I feel like that's all the better.
And those who prefer to hand-write their own can always re-address them :).
What drives me bonkers is a lack of stamp on an RSVP. I understand we're all trying to save a little... but this one just rubs me the wrong way!
tiffany-credit.jpg (429.4 KB, 18 downloads) 1 year old 
We are SO FAR out from our wedding and of cours ehaven't even sent invitations or anything yet, but I just had a out-of-town cousin of mine send me a message on facebook that she was coming to our wedding (of course she's invited anyway) and that she's going to bring her new boyfriend! Uh.. what? No.
I decided I should let her know right off the bat that we'll have to wait and see if we have enough space for him. I felt terrible but we're so limited on space and she'll know TONS of people there. We're trying to keep the +1s at just married, engaged, living together, and bridal party. My cousin's college boyfriend of the week just didn't make our guest list.
I had a large number of people who were too lazy to drop the pre-stamped RSVP card in the mail. They thought that word of mouth was ok. Hell-o! What a waste of postage...
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ndreighton | 11 |
| rivierabridal | 6 |
| kate02121 | 5 |
| bonkeyball3 | 4 |
 turtles73 |
4 |
| jaguar | 3 |
| BMORE SEXI | 3 |
| ohmystars28 | 3 |
| texasbee | 3 |
| MrsOliveBird | 2 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| turtles73 |
2 |
| kate02121 | 1 |
| LauraFaye4411 |
1 |
| celticbride | 1 |
| ohmystars28 | 1 |
| Nic01 | 1 |
| shychigirl | 1 |
that you can't believe people actually break!
Mine is- I had read over and over on here about people adding names to their RSVPs, and I thought "who would honestly be THAT rude?" I just couldn't believe that people really DID that.
Well sure enough, our RSVP cards are rolling in, and so are the added guests.
What etiquette rules did your guests break that just floored you?