Those of you with a lot of coworkers …did you invite them all?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@regit45:  Some good advice I got here on the Bee was… only invite those coworkers whom you consider friends AND see outside of work.

From a reality perspective, my one coworker just got married and invited only 3 of us to attend. This meant that a big number of his other coworkers were not invited. There were no hard feelings – it just is what it is and frankly, those not invited got to save some cash.

Unless you are great friends, do not invite them.

Post # 5
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am only inviting 4 coworkers out of about 15. I don’t see any other people outside of work. I’m also going to be descreet about inviting the ones I do. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel bad. Just going to tell them to keep it on the DL.

Post # 6
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’ve worked at the same place for almost 10 years, most of that time with the same group of people. My FI also used to work for our company but in a different department so they all know him. We also have big group parties (with spouses) twice a year at the boss’ house. My department is 20 people. So, the plan right now is to invite all of them + their spouses (but not their kids). Although many of them aren’t “friends” outside of work, they are still mostly people I enjoy spending time with. There are really only two of them I wouldn’t want to invite, but I can’t invite 18 and not 2. You have to do what works for you and your budget. No absolute rules on this one. 

 

Post # 8
Member
5016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@regit45:  We are date twins 🙂 

I don’t think you need to decide now – we are undecided on certain ppl so we aren’t sending them save the dates and will just send invites if we decide to invite them. Wait and see what happens in May when you go to send your invitations – if you’ve formed friendships outside of work – then you can send them an invite! 

Post # 9
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@regit45:  Then I wouldn’t plan on inviting any of them right now. 🙂

People will understand and those that don’t are probably not worth knowing.

Post # 10
Member
2882 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@regit45:   I am in a similar situation, only having been at my current job for 3 months now.  With such a short tenure at your job, and certainly not being friends with anyone before you got engaged, inviting co workers doesn’t need to be done.  If anyone gets offended, (which hopefully they won’t)  stick to guest list numbers as your reasoning.

On the same hand, refrain from getting too drawn into wedding planning questions at work.  You don’t have to be mum about it, just keep it to a minmum. 

Post # 11
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

At the time we got married I worked with about 30 people. I only invited one person (and her husband) despite the fact that some of the others in the department asked when they would be getting an invitation. We had a small wedding with only 80 people so I had to let them down easy reminding them that we were having a small wedding. Only one person (who I barely knew) was very upset and never spoke to me again. No big loss. We were so happy having only our immediate close friends & family share our day with us & wouldn’t change a thing despite a few hurt feelings.

Post # 12
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I invited 1. I didn’t tell anybody.  This was such a hard decision! All of my coworkers are married or in a relationship…

Post # 13
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I only invited the coworkers that I am friends with and do stuff outside of work with. 

Post # 14
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LilRhodyGem:  +1!

I have been at my company almost 8 years. I work with a lot of people, my direct team consists of about 10 people. I really like all of them, but I am only inviting the 3 I am closest to and actually see outside of work. Plus they are the 3 I have worked with the longest.

Post # 15
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I had a destination wedding so it was easy not to invite any.

I think that your idea of the boss only is a good one.  As a litmus test, I wouldn’t invite anyone else unless they are someone you know you’ll still be friends with if move to another job.  If you wouldn’t be comfortable calling this person up to grab a beer on the weekend, I wouldn’t invite.

One key – if you aren’t inviting co-workers, make sure to keep the wedding talk at work to a minimum.  I made sure to only talk about the wedding when others asked because I didn’t want to be ungracious by takling their ear off about an event they weren’t invited to.

Post # 16
Member
11734 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have a huge office, and only invited the ones I know socially or see outside of work.  It ended up being about 8 of them.  DH has a smaller, very close-knit office, and we ended up inviting all of them, which was about 15 or so.

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