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Throw away anything you dont need or havent used in the last year! If its special to you, put it in storage. We moved to a new place rather than me moving in w him or vice versa so I think that made it easier, it was just getting settled. We donated, tossed or stored a lot of stuff to help us get organized.
It was definitely a transission moving in with him. It was chaotic but fun the first week, then the next few were really irritating- he would get on my nerves with leaving stuff on the sink or socks in the living room etc, but Id say after a month we got the groove of things. (He still leaves his socks/clothes ALL over-whats with that!? Its like he starts stripping at the door right when he gets home)
As for sleeping, we never had any trouble there. We had been together for so long and slept in the same bed many times but when we moved in together and I knew both of us would always come home to our bed, or wake up in it, I think i slept even better from day 1!
Well we don't live together yet, but I can answer #1. My FI is currently going through everything he owns and taking weekly trips to goodwill. He's always lived with roommates and has never owned nice things, so the only items that he's bringing (I'm allowing) into my house are basically his clothes. That's so we don't have a huge crazy mess when he moves in and we'll just move less!
@mrsreid: LOL. Omg, my FI does this with his socks/clothes. He literally throws off everything he has.
I don't even know how he collected so many pairs of socks, but they are always, always on the floor. Like it's magnetic.
1) combine all yours and his stuff together?
very slowly! it took us about 3 months and two garage sales to fit everything together into our small little house.
2) get your house/apartment/space organized from the chaos of moving and wedding gifts?
again. it took 3 months. we unwrapped everything very quickly and the first thing we set up was our kitchen just for practicality's sake
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)?
this took about 9 months for me to really be totally comfortable falling asleep. but that's mostly because we have a queen and DH is 6' 2" and takes up a lot of space. i like my space too, so i had to get used to him being there every night!
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work)
we don't have to get to work at the same time, so we don't have an issue sharing our one bathroom in the mornings. mostly, it's getting lunches ready, etc. because we don't even eat breakfast together. we're both get-ready-and-go people and don't really relax in the morning before work.
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)?
we love cooking together, so this is easier. i am the only one who gets groceries though, so if i don't do it, we have random items from the pantry for dinner. :) we don't really have a time frame for eating as i'm hungry as soon as i get home from work, so we start up then!
6) get used to doing chores together?
We lived together before we got married, but we still had to deal with most of these things.
1) combine all yours and his stuff together? Are you talking about finances or home stuff? For each it took a few weeks.
2) get your house/apartment/space organized from the chaos of moving and wedding gifts? He was nice enough to go through all of his crap before I moved in, and I had just gotten rid of a bunch of my old stuff, so there wasn't that much to do. I took my time with it though, just emptied out a few boxes a day.
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)? I was used to that before I moved in...
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work) That was pretty easy for us too. He's slower then me so he'd wake up early to shower and get ready, and by the time he was out I hopped in. We never ate breakfast at home, just something quick to eat in the car.
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)? That took me a little while b/c I'm awful at making decisions, and he has stomache issues so he can't eat certain things. It's been long enough now that I've made different things and know what he likes, so it's easier to figure out a meal.
6) get used to doing chores together?
@luckyjuls: haha, exactly! I dont know how hard it is to put them in the hamper?! The worst is when i find them in our bedroom, on the floor, in front of the hamper...GR.
We aren't living together yet but we're slowly consolidating our things now so we don't have to worry about this when the season picks up after the wedding and I'll be at reherseals every other day.
We're also having meals together now as it's just easier. We plan out the meals on Saturday or Sunday, and then alternate who cooks or does dishes by schedules.
We lived together for a few years before getting married but also had to deal with some of these things
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)? Even before we lived together we slept at each others apartments (dorms) a lot. In fact, for the first 9 months of our relationship we slept in a single bed! I think you just get used to it over time.
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work) DH and I have different work schedules. I work from home 2 days a week so on those days he just gets up and showers without worrying about me. On the days that I do go to the office, I go in a lot earlier than him. I leave the house at 7:00 and he doesnt even wake up until 7:15 or so. Figure out who takes longer to shower and get ready and have that person go first in the shower. Both of us eat breakfast at work so this isnt something that we deal with.
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)? I dont make daily dinners. DH cooks a lot more than me. But even the thought of having a home cooked meal every night can be different. Some nights we eat different things and some nights we eat the same thing. Its pretty much a daily discussion of "What should we do for dinner" We are still getting used to it after living together for almost 4 years!
6) get used to doing chores together?
Thats really weird - I wrote a whole response to question #6 and it didnt include it!!!
Basically - figure out what chores each person doesnt mind doing and be responsible for those. Try making a list on a chalkboard or dry erase board if necessary. Take turns doing things that neither person likes to do. You will figure out a system that works for you but it will take time and probably some fights. For us, it was one of the hardest parts of living together!
1) combine all yours and his stuff together? Not very long, although we are lucky enough to have 2 spare bedrooms, and all of "my" stuff is in one, and all of "his" stuff is in another. By this I mean off-season clothes, momentos, journals, books, etc. Our daily shared stuff is just in our master bedroom or other rooms in the house.
2) get your house/apartment/space organized from the chaos of moving and wedding gifts? I don't remember, but I think a few weeks. I know it was kind of crazy moving in and unpacking wedding gfts, etc, but it got done. It will get done! Though I'm still always organizing and reorganizing things.
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)? We had slept in the same bed many times pre-marriage and it was tough because we are what I call incompatible sleepers. A month or so after the wedding we bought a King size bed and all problems were solved. I recommend it!
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work) Our schedules have changed a few times since the wedding but I don't think this took very long. Most workdays we do not sit down for breakfast together, and he also leaves for work before me so showers right before while I snooze a bit longer. Works out well!
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)? Almost 2 years later, I am still not used to this (100% my job) just because sometimes I'm so tired and just want to crash...but I do it. We got into a routine pretty early on of me cooking and him cleaning up afterwards.
6) get used to doing chores together?
It did the same thing for my #6 as it did for PitBullLover! I had a long answer to it too. Basically I said we don't have delineated "chores" per se, we just each do our part in keeping the house clean. That means picking up/vaccuming/etc when we have time or need to. I do more of the all-out cleaning every few weeks than he does, but that's because I'm messier. He is good at keeping things neat and doing the upkeep like vaccuming and sweeping. We also do our own laundry which I hope to maintain because I hate laundry.
we dont live together but i spend the weekends and all holidays at his place so sleeping in a bed together, and doing basic chores together is nothing new. I already have some of my stuff in our new place
I guess it will take bit of time to get used to waking up with him on work days and living with him for more than a fews day... But I'm looking for it!
Um, all of those questions, except the wedding gift ones, apply to people who moved in together before marriage. We all had to make the adjustments - it isn't just the people who wait until marriage that have to divvy up chores and get rid of extra stuff...
1) combine all yours and his stuff together? I sold all my furniture since I had crappy cheap stuff from grad school and he had "real" furniture. I had already weaned my belongings way down because of moving from TX to MA for grad school. Didn't need to do much besides that. He isn't very materialistic, so he didn't have to get rid of extra stuff either.
2) get your house/apartment/space organized from the chaos of moving and wedding gifts? I think it took maybe a week. nothing bad at all. But, I moved in with him, so I had less stuff to bring in and organize.
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)? We had slept in the same bed many times pre-marriage and it was tough because we are what I call incompatible sleepers. A month or so after the wedding we bought a King size bed and all problems were solved. I recommend it!
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work) This took months, and ultimately resulted in us buying a second comforter (he "burritos" up and hogs the blanket) and a new memory foam mattress that doesn't transfer motion as much (burritoing is really disruptive!). I think when we move next we will get a king sized bed and two twin mattresses for it to isolate movement even more. Girl needs her sleep!
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)? When we met, my husband had condiments and takeout containers in his fridge. So, cooking is up to me (I have taught him a few things, and we still have the occasional night where we each make our own food). I'm honestly still working on this, and we've lived together more than 2 years. I am trying to add in more variety and blend our tastes together better.
6) get used to doing chores together? That was always basically 50/50. Sometimes he does more chores. I spend more time actually managing things though. I keep track of what needs to be bought, when, who's birthday is coming up, etc, which is kind of a chore in and of itself.
1) combine all yours and his stuff together? I was living with my parents and he was living in apt with 2 friends we had like no furniture so we just made do with what we could mooch off friends and family. Knowing that after the wedding and we moved into our mortgaged home we would upgrade. We bought cheap plates, towels and decor from target ikea and home goods
2) get your house/apartment/space organized from the chaos of moving and wedding gifts? Break it down room by room then we had a big yard sale with all the stuff we had doubles of or we replaced with wedding shower gifts
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)? The bigger the bed, however we can only fit a queen in our room. My biggest issue was that Hubs likes to read before he falls asleep and i can't sleep with the light on
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work) Im an AM shower and he's a PM shower. Hubs leaves for work before me i found that if helet me sleep i didn't wake up on time so i adjusted my work hours so we had to be up at the same time. We eat breakfast in our office
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)? I have a chalkboard in the kichen where i write the weeks menu. He helps me make the list then i go food shopping and we split the bill. I cook most nights and we sit down and eat together most nights. This evolved from a budgeting problem and us eating out too much. Most meals can be cooked 30-40 minutes
6) get used to doing chores together? I am def the cleaner of the 2 of us. It got overwhelming and our system still isn't perfect. But we made the rule that if he gets home 1st he has to do 1 chore (laundry, empty dishwasher, walk dog, etc) before he can play video games, watch movie etc. I do bathrooms, he does trash, We split everything else up. This is what needs to get done what are you going to do and i'll do other stuff on the list.
1) combine all yours and his stuff together?
at least a couple of months... we had a lot of old furniture from college, so we got rid of it and bought new stuff together mostly. However, we're coming up on our first anniversary and I'm STILL not used to sharing the closet with him... it's just too small! Luckily we're moving to a house with a very nice closet in a month or so... :)
2) get your house/apartment/space organized from the chaos of moving and wedding gifts?
I was obsessed with getting organized when I moved in (he was already living here, so it was just my stuff to unpack). I re-sorted the kitchen in about two days to find places for the wedding gifts, and I had my stuff unpacked in about a day (with the exception of a couple boxes that just took FOREVER to get to). As for the wedding stuff... I left a lot of the wedding junk at my parents' house for a while, so I only got around to sorting through it like six months after the wedding.
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)?
This was easy. Although, having a giant bed at the hotel on our honeymoon made it a teensy bit hard to transition into our queen at home. haha! but just a week or so and I was fine.
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work)
Haha... well, we never even attempted to share a bathroom. I use the guest bathroom, which is much bigger for some reason and has a shower that I like better. I never even had to worry about getting ready in the morning!
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)?
This took a while. For the first three months or so I made dinner pretty much solely on my own. Then one day my husband was talking about how he likes to cook, and I was like what?!? you never cook! And he told me he would if I wasn't always doing it, so now he cooks once or twice a week.
6) get used to doing chores together?
I had the weird #6 issue too! What I was going to say is...
He cleans his bathroom, takes out the trash, and cleans the dishes most days. I still have to remind him to clean his bathroom sometimes, but he's GREAT about emptying the trash. i do everything else. I tend to clean when I'm stressed, so all the big stuff like vacuuming and dusting and mopping and cleaning the kitchen tends to just get done by me. We never even discussed it or anything, it's just always been that way! haha.
We aren't married yet, but we've been living together for three years, so I'll play :)
1) combine all yours and his stuff together?
When we first started living together, I moved into his current apartment. I brought with me my clothes and personal things (movies, cds, etc etc), and put the rest into storage. About a 1&1/2 yrs later or so, we got our own apartment. I didn't have any furniture or big items I kept from my old apartment (sold before I moved in w/ him) so it wasn't that bad. We both have a lot of personal junk down in the garage. We're almost at 4 years now, and still haven't sorted it all out LOL.
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)?
FI's my first serious relationship, but it was never a problem/issue for me. I never even thought about it before this post about how it could be an issue for people. I guess I see how it could be, but FI is like a heater and I'm always cold, so snuggling is perfect for me :)
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work)
FI roughly gets up and goes to work at the same time every day, and isn't a breakfast person. I'm mgmt in retail so I work different times every ... single ... day. We're both night shower people, so we're not rushing around each other in the morning. I normally don't wake up until after he's left anyways.
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)?
We don't cook daily. If we're both home early enough to cook, one of us will, normally who ever is less tired. If one/both of us work late or we're lazy, it's drive thru.
6) get used to doing chores together?
1) combine all yours and his stuff together?
I own a 785 square foot condo. I live small by choice. He gave up an apartment, but got a storage unit for some of his furniture (he seems to think it's great, but he knows it's not coming into a house if we buy one). He gets in spirts with Craigslist.
Overall, the last month of his lease was his organizing/cleaning time. I helped here and there, but it was mostly on his shoulders. I cleaned out a large closet for him and gave him a big drawer in my dresser.
2) get your house/apartment/space organized from the chaos of moving and wedding gifts?
There was no option about this. As something came in, it was put away. We aren't married yet, but we aren't registering for everything under the sun. We're both adults and had fully stocked places before meeting.
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)?
Hm...not sure how to answer this one. We love sleeping in the same bed. His snoring is a challenge, but I have ear plugs for instances when that's bothering me.
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work)
Again, not sure what to say here. We've never had a problem with this. We both wake up at the same time, take care of the dog together, then he makes breakfast while I check email/take a shower, then we eat breakfast, he takes his shower, then we leave together for work.
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)?
Okay, now I'm thinking you might be a little younger than me. Did you live with your mom and dad before? This wasn't a big deal because we both lived independently before meeting and were used to making our meals.
We usually figure out our menu for the week and grocery shop together. I do more cooking than he does, but he tries to help. :)
6) get used to doing chores together?
There wasn't much to get used to. If something's messy, we clean it. His tolerace for disorder is a little higher than mine, but when I go into cleaning mode, he starts tidying up, too.
We lived together around 9 months before we got married but before hand we both lived with our parents and still had to get our own apartment and organzie everything...
first off we used what was the better deal, example(i had a futon and he had a queen sized bed) so we took his bed and his end table and bedroom tv. we took my bedroom tv for the living room since he bought it for me it was brand new and a big flat screen. we really didnt have a problem with cluttering things in because we was just starting off so we got our stuff slowly and overtime... but what i would do is figure out what will look good together/whats the better deal & go from there, storage the other stuff or have a yard sale/go to good will! :-)
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1) combine all yours and his stuff together?
2) get your house/apartment/space organized from the chaos of moving and wedding gifts?
3) get used to sleeping with your spouse (as in not tossing and turning all night)?
4) get into a daily routine where both of you could easily function (ex: morning routines w/ showers, breakfast, etc. and not be late for work)
5) get used to making daily dinners / meals (if you do)?
6) get used to doing chores together?
And also - HOW DID YOU DO IT? Haha I'm so stressed out and tired from organizing all this junk! Any advice would be helpful :)