Post # 1
I just wanted to come here and tell you guys how i feel..and what you guys think of this situation. I dont know.. but it might be not as important to you as it is for me. But id be happy to read all the responses.
This is how it goes..Four years ago I got married to my wonderful husband. And when i was planning my fairytale wedding, i asked some of my very closest friends to be my bridesmaids. Now first of all i asked my BEST BEST friend of 22 years to be my maid of honour. And this is what she said, ” Im sorry i cant, because my mum is very superstitous and i cant be your maid of honour”. And then i asked, “What about a bridesmaid?” Then she replied with “yeah im sorry i cant be that too”. Now being the bestfriend that i am i accepted this. And i sounded ok to her in my dont worry about it voice but still deep down i was pretty cut and unhappy. But… she did end up going to my wedding.
A year later she got engaged and she was planning her wedding also. She asked me if i wanted to be her bridesmaid and i said “HELL YEAH!!” Im there for you. I even planned her invitations for her. Now these were fancy shmancy invitations too and very original. On the day of her wedding. I was there supporting her. And when she got nervous, told her to not worry and to calm down and i made sure she felt as comfortable as any maid of honour or bestfriend would make her feel.
Now.. I found out her and her husbands friends and they know each other for about 6-7 years were getting married. And to my surprise the photos that were up on facebook was her in a bridesmaids dress WITH THE BRIDAL PARTY! Wow that was a slap in the face! Beautiful pictures though. But i was EVEN MORE CUT then ever! Even though my wedding was 4 years ago.
And thats it… thats the story.. let me know what you guys think.
Thanks for reading this anyways =))
Post # 3
Wow! I would’ve been hurt, too. What exactly was her mom “superstitious” about? I’ve never heard that before! Maybe the superstition had to do with being in someone else’s wedding before your own… and it’s okay now that she’s married, LoL. Idk.
Post # 4
im guessing your friend did some growing up in the past few years and learnt to put her mothers superstitions in the bin where they belong or finances was an issue back then and she used her mum as an excuse – but i do understand why you are hurt, it would be very upsetting and your feelings are valid. sometimes good friends make silly or hurtful choices 🙁
Post # 5
Maybe her mom’s superstition was about her being a bridesmaid before she was married, and that in her (crazy) mind it would be ok to be a BM after she was already married?
I don’t know, just something to think about!
Post # 6
I guess when i see her i’ll just have to ask wat that superstition was in detail lol. I only see her like once every so few months. Coz i live 2 hours away from where she is. Thanks guys I appreciate the responses =).
Post # 7
You didn’t ask her what the superstition was when she first told you that? I guess I’m just nosy, but I definitely would’ve been asking her all kinds of questions about it. I would’ve been scared that her mom had some kind of bad ‘vision’ about my wedding day or marriage, LoL.
Post # 8
Is it the “three times a bridesmaid never a bride” thing she was superstitious about?
Not that I agree with what she did but if that is the case then being a bridesmaid after her own wedding probably didn’t phase her.
I’d speak to her about it, just explain how hurt you are. I’d be the same! I’m sure you can work it out.
Post # 9
@ladyartichoke: Thanks, when i see her i will tell her how i feel. Clear things out hehe.
Post # 10
Yeah, I’d imagine that it was something to do with “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” thing. I’d start out nicely as far as “Hey, saw the pics — they were gorgeous!” and then see where she goes from there about the experience. You’ll know the right moment to say (hopefully with more curiosity than accusation in your voice) “So what changed that your mom was OK with you being a bridesmaid now?” Good luck!
Post # 11
@Mrs. Ginger:Ditto. I think some people don’t want to be a bridesmaid before they’re married. You can ask her though. A lot of the other PPs all had some good ideas. It might have been an excuse because she couldn’t afford it–either way she is your best friend, even if she wasn’t your MOH.
Post # 12
I’d totally ask her about it. Please let us know what she says.
Post # 13
i will guys, thanks for the advice.
Post # 14
I would tell her to go pound sand! WHo needs a friend like that? 22 years or not!
Post # 15
maybe it wasnt bad luck anymore because she was married now…