Post # 1
I went to a wedding this past weekend and the couple announced that they were expecting a baby and even set a framed picture of the sonogram on their sweetheart table.
While I am certainly not one to think that you have to wait until marriage to have sex, I was a little uncomfortable when they announced it. Maybe it was because there was an awkward air in the room a few moments after they made the announcement, and the fact that the elderly couple at my table (her aunt and uncle) seemed to be very disapproving though they didn’t say anything outloud.
Personally I don’t feel that a wedding is the appropriate place to announce a pregnancy, but I know that many people do it (it was on an episode of Four Weddings I believe) and my parents went to one a few years ago where the couple also announced that they were expecting. Maybe it is because first-time brides are traditionally suppose to be virgins (I certainly won’t be though) and I think a lot of people like to *think* of a bride as an innocent, pure woman on her wedding day, and I feel that saying “we’re pregnant!” takes away from the illusion. (Meaning, even though a lot of brides aren’t virgins, I think a lot of people subconciously think of a bride as a virgin on her wedding day, not actually conciously think about it…)
I am certainly not bashing or judging people who have sex/children or get pregnant before they are married, as I don’t feel you have to wait for these things, but I just don’t feel that a wedding is the appropriate place to announce a pregnancy. I am also not bashing you if you did this, just wondering how other’s feel about it.
Post # 3
I think it is pretty cute, and I have zero family members who thought we were virgins before we got married! If you’re a disapproving old fashioned person, is not my job to cater to your views.
Post # 4
If it is the marrying couple I think it is ok, not for someone else do make an announcemnt. They have all their fam and friends there so why not. Now a sonogram pic on the table – way out of line. Way out.
Post # 5
BTW if you announce the following week, what difference does it make?
Post # 6
@Bookmarks: I think it’s tacky to do this.
I can’t totally put my finger on why, but it just seems.. wrong..?
I would never in a million years do this, & my dad would have probably kicked my ass (metaphorically, of course lol) if I announced that at my wedding. Of course, we are traditional & conservative though.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t care. I’d probably wait until after the wedding myself but I don’t really care what anyone else does.
Post # 8
I don’t mind it. In fact it makes me all weepy and gooey. I think this is my biological clock trying to tell me something…if only it could pipe down for 4 more years! 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Bookmarks: Even though I know a lot of couples do the deed and live together before marriage, being pregnant before the wedding is one thing I am pretty traditional about so I would be a bit taken aback by it. I would get over it quickly because it’s their life not mine but I would definitely wonder why they couldn’t wait, whether it was an accident, or they were getting married because they got knocked up.
Post # 10
@Bookmarks: The ONLY reason I’m not into this whole thing is because I’m a linear thinker and if you start piling too much shit on me, I get grumpy.
ONE THING AT A TIME PEOPLE!!!
Of course I don’t think the couple are virgins and that they’ve never touched each other, and I’m certainly going to be super happy about their new baby…but right now, it’s wedding time…I RSVP’d, dressed up, bought a gift, and now I want to do wedding stuff…not wedding/baby stuff…those two things are not related in my mind on the same level..so don’t make me reconcile that.
Plus…that means we’re going to have to do a baby shower, and congratulatory cigars AND flowers when the baby is born AND go visit AND…AND…AND…
It gets annoying.
Post # 11
I’d probably find it a little odd, because it’s like they’re taking the spotlight away from their wedding day and putting it on this baby. I mean I’m sure they excited about the baby, but you could have your cake and eat it too by enjoying the wedding and then announcing a little later and enjoying that as well!
Post # 12
@bebero: As I said, I think a lot of people just subconciously do it, even if they know people aren’t.
And the difference is it isn’t at your wedding… it isn’t in that moment. I think that is a pretty obvious difference.
@Atalanta: Oh I totally agree that if someone else makes the announcement (either of their OWN or for the couple without their permission) is inappropriate as anything. Just wondering, why do you think the sonogram on the table is out of line? (To me, they are creepy… but that’s just me personally… I hate seeing people’s sonograms.)
Post # 13
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Personally, I wouldn’t … and I do think it is inappropriate to do so.
1- Because NOTHING or NO ONE should take away from the focus of the day… a couple getting married. (Sorry, not only their own bambino)
2- Because when you Host an Event, you are meant to do all that you can to make your Guests feel comfortable… obviously their NEWS didn’t do that for the Aunt & Uncle (so inconsiderate)
3- As someone else said… there are like a ton of “other days” afterwards to tell folks, it doesn’t matter which other one they choose in the big scheme of things.
Hope this helps,
Post # 14
I’m with you on this one for several reasons but one is that I like celebrating one thing at a time. I mean, announcing you are having a baby sort of takes part of the excitement away from the wedding part of the day. Another reason is that for many people having children out of wedlock is considered a major taboo. You probably are going to have at least some people at your wedding who believe this (like your grandparents or old family friends). As a good host you should ensure that your wedding is a happy occasion & that your guests have a good time. If you know that announcing your pregnancy is going to make some of your guests uncomfortable why would you do that?
Post # 15
I think the sonogram picture is over the top, but otherwise I have no problem with it. If it was the right time and all their friends and family are there, why not? I prefer this to a Facebook status update. When I get pregnant there will be nothing about it on Facebook, if you are not close enough for me to tell you in person I don’t care if you know I am pregnant or not.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I would *love* to see this at a wedding!!