Thoughts on baby/pregnancy in early 30s?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I got pregnant at 32 and had my sone 1 month after my 33rd birthday.  I got pregnant with my daughter at 36 and had her at 37.  I would not have it any other way.  I was settled in my career and ready to be a mom.  And, at least in my kids’ school, there are lots of moms my age, so I never feel really old.  Most career women delay, I think. I didn’t want kids in my 20s.

Post # 3
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh, adn I got pregnant very quickly both times.  I had an easy pregnancy with my daughter and a harder one with my son, but I think that was due to all the swelling I had, not age.  I had both vaginally pretty easily.

 

Post # 4
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m currently pregnant (just turned 34) and due in late aug/early sept with twins.  However, this age seems to be the norm in my circle.  I personally don’t feel like there were any difficulties, however, I never really planned on having kids.  I did get some pressure from my grandmother, but it wasn’t much, just the standard “when are you having kids” type of questioning.  I guess the best part about not having kids in my 20s was having lots of freedom to explore the world and life in general.  Plus, now that I’m a bit older we have a house, savings, emergency funds, no student loans and I get to be a SAHM.  I think you just have to do things when the time feels right for you.

Post # 5
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I got pregnant with my DD at 21 and had her a few months after I turned 22. I wanted to have another baby a few years later, but DH and I just never thought timing was right (money issues, fidelity issues, etc.). I found out I was pregnant last October at 31, but unfortunately miscarried. I’m hoping to conceive again sooner-than-later, but we’re pretty lax about it (not really ‘trying’, but not preventing, either).

I don’t think my age had anything to do with the MC… DH was having health issues at the time, so I was really stressed with that, plus he didn’t take the surprise well (adding more stress).

Post # 8
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m 31 and we got married last year and won’t be starting to try to conceive for a while still. I haven’t been pressured (except my grandmother, but she’s just like that about everything). I’m not worried about waiting. Most of our friends have started having babies so we have lots of friends with toddlers/babies, but we still have plenty of friends that haven’t had kids yet.

Post # 9
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

daisy92:  No kids yet. But 39-32 is pretty normal in my friend group for a first child.  I *hope* to be pregnant by the time I turn 30, and deliver at 30.

Post # 10
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I love my kids to death and would not trade them for the world, but do not be fooled.  Kids change everything about your life.  It is a ton of work!  I say have fun and be free in your 20s…..

Post # 11
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m 37 and just gave birth to a healthy baby boy. We didn’t have any trouble conceiving. I had terrible morning sickness the first 16 weeks but otherwise handled the pregnancy fairly well. I like that I’ve already established my career, we are good financially, and I guess mainly that I have a wonderful husband!  It took me a long time to meet him which is really the only reason I’m having the baby so late in life.

Post # 12
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Statistically, your fertility prime is your mid twenties,  but the real difficulties don’t come in until 35-40. We are trying in October,  so I’ll be 29 and DH will be 33. You could not have paid me to try earlier. .. I needed to get through school, start a career, buy a house,  and travel the world.

The reason we aren’t waiting longer is that I have a strange cycle and we would ideally like 2 or 4 kids with at least 2.5 years between them. If we have four, I could do itbbefore fertility problems become a huge factor. 

 

 

In talking to moms I know,  they’d rather have fewer children later and have met their goals than have lots of kids and had them before they finished their bucket list. At 22 I had 5 goals to reach by 30 (grad degree, house, travel to the 6 inhabited continents,  run a marathon,  and have a job making above a given figure). I just finished the last item on the list afew hours ago and feel at peace trying in the next six months.

 

Post # 13
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Although my parents were in their early 30s with me, the rest of their generation in my family were in their late 30s and 40s. Most women I know who have children fall into two camps… they either had children in their 20s, whilst unmarried, and ended up raising them as single parents, or they had them aged 30 and above, whilst married.

Quite a few people have even advised me that I shouldn’t have kids until well into my 30s… but then, I suppose it varies by country and by social circle. Average age of first pregnancy is 30 here.

Post # 14
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

 

daisy92:  I live in DC and literally no one in my group of friends had a child in their 20s. One friend had her baby at 30 (pregnant first cycle), another at 34 (same), and yet another had her first at 37 and second at 39 (took six months each time to conceive).

I’m in my early 30s, getting married this fall, and we’ll see what happens then. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

daisy92:  Wait until you’re 29 or 30.  It’s very common among my friends to wait that long and they seem much happier than my friends who had kids in their early 20s.  They had plenty of time to travel and party and be silly before settling into the responsibilities of parenthood.  I am 30 and we are going to TTC our first next spring.  Financially and emotionally I am readier than ever for parenthood.  With daycare costing $245+ per week in our area (that’s over $12,000 per year if you’re counting!) there is no way I would have been able to survive on the salaries I had in my 20s with the added expense of a child.

Were there any difficulties you might not have had before 30? The only regret I have in waiting so long is that last year I was diagnosed with cervial cancer and had to have a LEEP done.  It was scary and I worried about how it would affect my ability to get pregnant and carry safely to term but my doctor reassured me that most post-LEEP pregnancies are just fine.

Was anyone pressuring you before 30 (I am feeling the pressure here!)? Yes, when I got married the first time at 23 about a year in people started asking when we planned to have a baby.  Our answer was “not any time soon because we are having too much fun!”  Any time someone asks now about when my current husband and I plan to start TTC I respond that we don’t want to be pregnant during our trip to Europe this fall.

What was the best part about waiting? My ex husband and I traveled a lot so I got to check off Vegas, San Francisco, and Key West on my bucket list.  We also enjoyed frivolous last minute weekends away often, which is difficult to do when you have kids.  My current husband and I are enjoying two weeks in Europe this fall before TTC because I can’t imagine having a child before getting to see Paris!

Anything else in general? Don’t follow someone else’s timeline for kids, follow what works best for you and your spouse.  Since we waited until 30 our parents are all older and a few are even retired (but not too old) so they will get to spend more time with their grandchild.  We are also in better position financially for one of us to be a stay at home parent because your salaries are typically significantly higher in your 30s than in your 20s.  It also means that we have more expendable income to buy cool baby stuff and pay for our child to take lessons in things they are interested in like music or dancing or sports.  Finally, I have a lot more patience in my 30s than I did in my 20s.

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