Post # 1
FI and I are getting married at a church where we are assigned a pastor to officiate our wedding. I come from a stronger religious background and was against having a female pastor. FI is okay with it but how could I approach the church and request a male pastor? Without being offensive?
It doesn’t help that the female pastors name is Pamela Anderson…. I thought FI was kidding… Nope he was serious.
Post # 2
happybunny177: Lol the name is pretty funny…
What exactly do you have against a female pastor though? If you have a strong religiuos background, you’re getting married in a church that is ok with it so what’s the problem?
Post # 4
Did the church not give you any say? thats strange, we’re personally asking for a specific pastor to marry us.
I’d definitely mention something. I’d feel the same, not a sexist thing at all just some religions don’t recognized female pastors.
Post # 5
It’s an offensive thing to ask, so there is basiclly no way to avoid being rude.
Post # 6
We had a female pastor at our wedding. She was awesome!
Post # 8
Why don’t you meet with her and see what you think. You never know, you may really like her. Just because she is a woman doesn’t mean she’ll be worse than a man…nor will a man be better necessarily.
Post # 9
Our church doesn’t allow female pastors so I would be opposed to it as well. Can you not get married in your church or another church of the same denomination? I would just be upfront and honestly and say due to my beliefs I would like to request a male pastor.
Post # 10
SimpleCountryLife: but surely if her church has a female pastor that means that her denomination does recognise female pastors?
Post # 11
We specifically wanted a female officiant, and we got one. If you have religious beliefs that are against that, ask for a new one. It’s rude, but it’s your religious practices, surely your church can understand that.
Post # 12
I understand this. My faith has female ministers, but they don’t perform weddings. Therefore the idea of a wedding in my head always involved a man marrying us. Even though we had a civil ceremony, I still wanted a male judge for that reason. I have nothing against women preachers or women judges, but it didn’t fit in with my vision. Same way I have nothing against blush wedding dresses, but I always saw myself getting wed in white.
Post # 13
My mother is a reverend for one of the biggest denominations in the country. She studied for 5 years at a seminary getting her master’s degree, and now faces discrimination in the workplace at every turn just for being a woman, even though she has more schooling than many pastors. It’s unfortunate, and it makes me sad knowing how hard she worked to get to where she is.
I hope you aren’t against a female pastor just because she is female. That being said, you should be able to request a specific pastor for your wedding.
Post # 14
If you have strong beliefs that a woman cannot properly fill the role of a pastor, then why not get married in a church that shares your beliefs?
I think it would be a slap in the face to the female pastor, as obviously her church has faith in her to do the job. We’ve heard all the religious arguements before in previous threads, but really? How would you feel if someone asked for a man instead of you in your place of work?
Post # 15
You could specifically detail to them how a man would be better at marrying you and how a man makes a better pastor.
In fact, I’d love to hear this as well.