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Thoughts on flower girl/ring bearer? Especially those that have been so as kids

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
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    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    I wasn't planning on having these elements in our processional.  We have a slew of nieces and nephews and friend's kids to pick from - but I have zero desire to do this.

    Do you think I'm cheating those kids from the enduring "I was your flower girl" affinity years from now?

    It's not helping that my mom keeps telling me I NEED to have them ;)

     

     
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    verosara    March 27, 2010   LA, California

    If you're not that close to them, or none of them jumped out in your mind as to who you would have, then there's no need for one.  I thnk it's nice when the kids are close to you and I feel like it's optional, they are not always a must. 

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    i was never one, and never really felt the need to have one. until i met my fi's niece and saw how sweet they were together. she's really the only child that we have super close to us, she's adorable, and like i said, i knew right away how special it would be to have her in our wedding.

    i think it depends on the kid though, she's very outgoing and i know she'll love it, she's an intention getter. my friend just got married and i'm pretty sure her flower girl is scarred for life. she was terrified.

     
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    AzinAugust    August 2010   Sedona, AZ

    I love both our nephews and neice, so I aboslutely have to have them in the wedding. We're all very close and we do alot together. So I will have 2 ringbearers and a flower girl. I only expect them to walk up to the front and then sit with their respective parents. So I hope I'm not throwing too much at them!

     
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    veganglam    January 5, 2013   Philadelphia; Wedding in NYC

    i was one, and we're going to have two ringbearers and three flower girls. i love them! but that's just us.  if you don't want them, then don't! i highly doubt anyone will feel gypped as an adult because they weren't in  your wedding as a toddler.

     
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    mrsawesome09    June 5, 2011   Madison, WI

    I was a flowergirl for my mom's cousin's wedding in the late 80's...giant poofy dress with blue bows and everything! I love love loved having that dress to wear around, even after the wedding (I was 3) but personally, I'm not having a flower girl or ring bearer. 

    I personally think that kids in the wedding party are great, if you're super close to them and or they are well behaved, but the kids in my family fit neither one of those statements.  So we're skipping the drama and having an adult only wedding party.

    To be honest, I don't really even remember being in the wedding as a kid, so unless the kids are older or you're super important to them, they probably won't miss out on the experience.  I just loved having that dress! haha =)

    Good luck on your decision!

    P.S. I second what artbee says above.  Some kids hate being in the spotlight, and nothing can ruin a good wedding other than a screaming kid or a flowergirl/ringbearer that turns around half way down the aisle...both of which I've seen happen. =/

     

     
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    sweetnote10    May 5, 2012   evansville, indiana

    Honestly I dont want a flower girl or ring bearer simply because I dont want anyone to feel left out. Plus I like the idea of having a small wedding party less confusion I personally feel like.

     
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    mhirni    September 12, 2009   Oakland, CA

    I adore my niece, but I wanted to keep things very simple, so no flower girl or ring bearer.  I did give my niece a "job" which was to help her daddy put out the cards we printed for our guests and she was happy to do that.

     
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    I was a flower girl in several weddings when I was younger and I thought it was the coolest thing ever! I definitely wouldn't have ever considered not having a FG/ring bearer, but I absolutely love kids and I couldn't really imagine my wedding without them. :-) However, that's just a personal preference - if you really don't want to include them, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

     
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    Violachap    November 13, 2010   California, MD (Wedding in Norfolk, VA)

    I'm having my niece as my flower girl, but that's because I want her to be apart of my wedding! But it's up to you, there's no rule that you MUST have a flower girl/ringbearer. We're not having a ringbearer, because there are no little boys in the family, so no worries.

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    I was a flowergirl at my uncle and aunt's wedding (on my birthday when I was 3 years old)... I didn't make it down the aisle but I still fondly remember it and love looking at the pictures. I was also a flower girl in other aunts weddings and loved every second of being a girl in a great and gorgeous dress and playing around with it and being soo excited and thinking that the brides were the most beautiful women i have ever seen in my life.  My son loved being the ring "boy" (that's what he calls it in weddings)... I think the girlies and kids would adore it.

     
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    sweetnote10    May 5, 2012   evansville, indiana

    Is anyone excluding children all together from the day? Not even as guests? I was just curious about this because my friend who just got married 6 months ago did not have children at all and whereas I of course definitely want everyone to feel comfortable to bring their entire family. Any thoughts?

     
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    MightySapphire      

    My niece was DYING to be a flower girl.  My nephew had been a ring bearer before, and he was excited about it right up until the wedding day.

    I think that they're really cute to have, but it is your wedding.  If you don't want to include them you don't have to.  If you want to placate your mom, have HER choose.  (I would choose at least a four year old!)

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    @sweetnote: i've definitely seen it before and it's not a big deal to me even though M doesn't want children except ours and the wedding party I don't think it will matter in the end because he's not adamant about it...

     

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