Post # 1
Our proposed wedding date falls on my aunty’s birthday. It isn’t a massively significant one (not her 40th, 50th, etc.) but I was just wondering what your thoughts are on getting married on someone’s birthday like this? Since it’s her birthday, should we invite her two children (aged 15 and 17) to the wedding also?
If it were someone getting married on my birthday I wouldn’t mind, to me I think free food and booze on my birthday would be pretty special and fun, but I’m not sure what the etiquette is to other bees.
Post # 3
@PeachKitten: We stepped on all kinds of toes on our wedding! My mum, my brothers girlfriend and DH’s aunt (and it was a big birthday) to name a few!!! They were all ok with it but we named them in the speech. I don’t think it’s necessary to invite her daughters as she can celebrate with them another day but it might be a nice thing to do. Only if you can afford it!
Post # 4
How about ask her? Our original date was on my aunt’s birthday and she was very excited!
However, be prepared for a no. My FI’s stepmom’s birthday is tomorrow, and we are getting married in two days. She is really mad at us for not being the center of attention.
Post # 5
Thank you @pheobepheobo. i’m glad to hear your guests were okay with it, that’s so good 🙂 @moiraine: she sounds quite childish, i’m hoping my aunty doesn’t react badly. also congrats on your wedding being so soon!
Post # 6
@PeachKitten: We avoided immediate family’s birthdays. For more distant family (like aunts) I don’t even know their birthdays.
If one of my nephews/nieces married on my birthday, I’d just go along and celebrate my birthday on another day, or celebrate it at lunch. Adults should be used to celebrating on a different day.
As for her children: same rules as for other teenage cousins. If they’re the only teenage cousins, you can probably get away with inviting them and it’s a nice touch. (EDIT: Unless you’re not inviting other adult cousins).
Post # 7
Hello paula1248, thank you for your opinion. i’m hoping it will be okay, i only knew it was my aunt’s birthday because my mum told me when we rang her to tell her the date (it’s her sister). I’m hoping my aunt is okay with it, we chose the date because it is off season and not during school holidays or fathers day weekend
Post # 8
I think as long as it isn’t a significant birthday then it is ok. But are you prepared for her not coming to your wedding? It is a possibility especially if you are not inviting her family. If you are fine with her not coming then I say go for it but if it is important to you for her to be there then I wouldn’t do it.
You could also call her husband/children and find out if they had anything planned for the birthday. Just because it is not a significant birthday does not mean that the family doesn’t have some birthday traditions that they like to carry out.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - EDD Aug '15
@PeachKitten: Personally I don’t think it’s a big deal, but who better to ask than the aunt herself! Many older women aren’t big fans of their birthdays and remembering that they’re yet another year older, so she might appreciate the happy distraction haha!!
Post # 10
I think it’s completely okay. We got married on my SIL’s birthday and it all worked out fine, she was in our wedding party as well and we had cake for her at our rehearsal dinner. Most adults are used to celebrating their birthdays on other days (and some don’t even like celebrating them at all!), so I don’t think it would be a problem – but you could also double check with your Aunt just to be sure.
Post # 11
@PeachKitten: Totally fine. You book a day that works for you. If she doesn’t want to attend because it’s her birthday so be it.
It may be a nice guesture to mention her birthday and maybe have a cake for her.
Post # 12
I’d probably ask them as a courtesy but I can’t imagine there’d be a problem.
Post # 13
We got married on my Father in Law’s birthday. Didn’t even think about it.
Post # 14
I think it is fine, but my family isn’t one of those that makes a huge crazy deal about birthdays. We purposefully avoided my FI’s brother’s birthday even though it was an option because he’s the sort that would be fussed.
Post # 15
My uncle got married on his brother (my dad)’s birthday. I’ve always thought that was kind of douchey but maybe that’s the only day they could get the church? I dunno, I wasn’t even around when it happened haha. You do what you have to do… Some things can’t be avoided!
Post # 16
I think you’ll be fine – I had never heard about this being a consideration before the Bee. Similar to @peonies2:, in my family and social circle adults are fine celebrating on a different day than their real birthday. If she’s at the wedding, it might be nice to tell her “Happy Birthday”, just to show you remembered.