Thoughts on getting married on a relatives birthday?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@PeachKitten:   We stepped on all kinds of toes on our wedding! My mum, my brothers girlfriend and DH’s aunt (and it was a big birthday) to name a few!!! They were all ok with it but we named them in the speech. I don’t think it’s necessary to invite her daughters as she can celebrate with them another day but it might be a nice thing to do. Only if you can afford it! 

Post # 4
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

How about ask her? Our original date was on my aunt’s birthday and she was very excited!

However, be prepared for a no. My FI’s stepmom’s birthday is tomorrow, and we are getting married in two days. She is really mad at us for not being the center of attention.

Post # 6
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@PeachKitten:  We avoided immediate family’s birthdays. For more distant family (like aunts) I don’t even know their birthdays.

If one of my nephews/nieces married on my birthday, I’d just go along and celebrate my birthday on another day, or celebrate it at lunch. Adults should be used to celebrating on a different day.

As for her children: same rules as for other teenage cousins. If they’re the only teenage cousins, you can probably get away with inviting them and it’s a nice touch. (EDIT: Unless you’re not inviting other adult cousins).

Post # 8
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think as long as it isn’t a significant birthday then it is ok. But are you prepared for her not coming to your wedding? It is a possibility especially if you are not inviting her family. If you are fine with her not coming then I say go for it but if it is important to you for her to be there then I wouldn’t do it.

You could also call her husband/children and find out if they had anything planned for the birthday. Just because it is not a significant birthday does not mean that the family doesn’t have some birthday traditions that they like to carry out.

Post # 9
Member
1904 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

@PeachKitten:  Personally I don’t think it’s a big deal, but who better to ask than the aunt herself! Many older women aren’t big fans of their birthdays and remembering that they’re yet another year older, so she might appreciate the happy distraction haha!!

Post # 10
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s completely okay.  We got married on my SIL’s birthday and it all worked out fine, she was in our wedding party as well and we had cake for her at our rehearsal dinner.  Most adults are used to celebrating their birthdays on other days (and some don’t even like celebrating them at all!), so I don’t think it would be a problem – but you could also double check with your Aunt just to be sure.

Post # 11
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

@PeachKitten:  Totally fine.  You book a day that works for you.  If she doesn’t want to attend because it’s her birthday so be it.

It may be a nice guesture to mention her birthday and maybe have a cake for her.

Post # 12
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d probably ask them as a courtesy but I can’t imagine there’d be a problem. 

Post # 13
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

We got married on my Father in Law’s birthday. Didn’t even think about it.

Post # 14
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think it is fine, but my family isn’t one of those that makes a huge crazy deal about birthdays. We purposefully avoided my FI’s brother’s birthday even though it was an option because he’s the sort that would be fussed.

Post # 15
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My uncle got married on his brother (my dad)’s birthday. I’ve always thought that was kind of douchey but maybe that’s the only day they could get the church? I dunno, I wasn’t even around when it happened haha. You do what you have to do… Some things can’t be avoided!

Post # 16
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you’ll be fine – I had never heard about this being a consideration before the Bee. Similar to @peonies2:, in my family and social circle adults are fine celebrating on a different day than their real birthday. If she’s at the wedding, it might be nice to tell her “Happy Birthday”, just to show you remembered.

  

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