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I like the idea of having an option so lamb might be a better one than the prime rib. However, if you are going with a "no option" i agree that chicken is best as long as you do have a vegetarian plate for those who don't eat chicken (or really don't like the way it's prepared).
I've never been to one without a meal choice, but IMO I wouldn't care as long as I knew what was being served ahead of time...maybe if you could put it on your wedding website? If I didn't like the main dish, I would make sure to not come hungry. I went to a wedding a few years ago where we had 4 choices for a main dish, but I was a vegetarian and unable to eat any of them. Sometimes there comes a point where you just have to do what fits in your budget. I definitely understand trying to cut costs-I'm only doing an hors d'oeuvres reception. Personally buffets are my favorite, but I understand some people don't care for them.
I wouldn't mind if there was no choice.. but I am an 'eat anything that tastes good' type of gal. I would still have a couple veggie options for those who dont eat meat
I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you do have an option for vegetarians and people with dietary restrictions (ie celiac, food allergies, etc).
We are doing a dual entree and a vegetarian entree. Those are the only "choices" my guests have for their meal. But our dual entree is beef and fish with tons of veggies and rice so they should be able to find something they like. We chose the dual entree because we wanted to create a fusion of my and FI's backgrounds.
We aren't having a meal choice, and actually my wedding planner suggested it. We are having a formal coursed meal, here is our menu:
1st- salad, soup, grilled cheese trio
2nd- pasta
3rd- palate cleanser
4th- beef medallions with crab stuffed shrimp
5th- cake
We are also having a late night snack of a burger bar an French fry Buffett. The only choice we are giving is a vegetarian choice. I think we will have enough food for everyone to get filled up on.
I was in a wedding over the summer with no meal choice. I have never used the dreaded "T Word" but if I did, I'd apply it here. Your guests do not all have the same taste, and some have food restrictions for various reasons that are probably unknown to you. They deserve, at the very least, a choice between two meat dishes and a veggie option -- I think the lamb as one of those is just fine, especially with the demographic of your guests, but it needs to be an *option*.
How would you feel if, as a wedding guest, the only options were something you can't eat (allergy) and something you won't eat (religious, health, or other reasons)? While obviously you'll never please everyone, allowing a choice of 2 meats plus the veggie is the least likely to offend and most likely to satisfy nearly everyone.
My FSIL did no choice for her wedding and she did chicken because she felt it was the safest option. I think she just verified no one was a vegetarian first.
Could you offer the vegetarian option as a second option instead of a silent option? That way everyone still has a choice in case they would prefer not to have the chicken. I'm a super picky eater and I know I can't be the only one who would be peeved not to have a choice at all!
I've been to weddings both ways--with a choice and without--and it didn't bother me either way. My parents insisted on me providing a choice, but personally, as long as the food is good, it doesn't matter to me.
I have never been to a wedding with choice (other than a buffet wedding). We are providing our guests a choice.. only because we can and the options vary in price, so I think it will average out ok. I've never cared about not having an option!
I don't eat red meat, but I am not a vegetarian. I just don't like it. We've been to a couple of events that had a dual entree-usually it's shirmp/meat or chicken/meat. I'm usually hungry by the end of the night because I only ate half my meal, but I survived.
We're doing a 'no choice' reception. It fits our budget perfectly and we chose a chicken dish. I honestly think this was a great choice FOR US and we went with a chicken plate because it's pretty 'safe'. We couldn't do pork, some people don't eat pork, or beef, and we couldn't do fish, some people are allergic. I think we will be fine with what we chose. There will be the cocktail hour with tons of food to eat, and there will be a sweets buffet and other little treats for our guests..So while the food was important, it wasn't extremely importatnt to where we thought we needed to have choices. Go with what fits your pockets. You cannot please everyone, and you will stress yourself out trying to
Is the salmon much different in price from the chicken? Because you could always do a chicken/fish option instead of a chicken/beef option.
I would definitely not be upset. I do have celiac though, so it might force me to not be able to eat much, but that's the price you to have to pay sometimes!
@Soon2BeMrsPea: That's a good point, if I'm nibbling during cocktail hour or there's dessert, I'm usually all set on food even if I don't like the dinner choice.
Most weddings I've been to have either been a buffet where you help yourself to whatever you want, or a meal that you don't have a choice about (apart from a vegetarian alternative) which is what we're having as well. The reason for this was because it came as a package deal with the venue. We chose what the meal and dessert would be but were not allowed to have several different options for our guests.
We had only one meal because we were providing guests the option of a wine or beer pairing with their meal. Logistically we would not have been able to offer pairing choices AND meal choices simultaneously. When selecting our entree course (filet with port jus and chef's choice seasonal veggies), we made sure to consult our guests and get a thumbs up from everyone. This wasn't difficult because we had a small guest list, but may pose a challenge for a larger event.
@Cem0930: I think it is fine. I went to a wedding that had a dual entree - chicken cordon bleu and some steak something or other (I don't like red meat). No one complained. I would have preferred a buffet or option, but I didn't mind no choice. I did have two peices of cake because there was so much left over and I was still hungry.
Talk to you caterer about vegan meals too. I have four people (out of our 100 guest list) that I just found out are vegans. I think it is nice to accomodate them too. You could make the vegitarian option vegan to make it eaiser.
We had a chicken dish and a pasta dish at our wedding to make sure we covered vegetarians and also stayed within our budget. I don't think fish isn't mainstream though...a lot of weddings do a chicken or fish option...
I've never been to a wedding with a meal choice for different meats. My feeling is that you are inviting me to a dinner that you are paying for. Therefore, you get to choose what we eat.
For picky eaters or people with food restrictions (and I know a few of these), they generally know to eat something beforehand or will have something after.
I've been to weddings with no meal choice before and, IMO, it isn't a big deal at all. So long as you have a vegetarian option so that guests who don't eat meat don't go hungry. :)
As a guest, no I wouldn't be offended. It's your prerogative to serve what you want. I can't eat stuffing, but I'd just find some sides I could eat. As a host, I'm hosting vegans, kosher eaters, picky eaters, celiacs, and paleo eaters. Its important to us that we accommodate all those preferences, because that's a big part of being a host to me. I take pride in making my guests happy & comfortable. maybe its the italian in me lol.
Yea i'm picking a meat and veggie option and the mr is going to have steak
We are doing a dual entre. The very big plates will be 30% steak, 30% crab cake, 40% greens and starch with rolls on the table. On the RSVP card we will have a box for people to check off that one or both of them need a vegetarian meal. I'm a vegetarian and so are at least 6 of my guests. I will be posting on the website that the meal is steak and crab cakes. I will not be posting what the vegetarian meal is, just that vegetarians/allergic to seafood should check that box.
Our caterer at our very nice venue said that it's coming back in style at upscale locations to NOT offer options and to do dual entrees. Also, our cocktail hour will have 2 culinary displays and 6 butler passed hor d'ouvres, plus there's a salad before the entree and cake after. No one will be hungry.
Both DH and my families have a lot of dietary restrictions due to allergies, so we chose a buffet. People could pick and choose, and it was MUCH cheaper than a sit-down! Our caterer had a surf and turf option, so people could have both prime rib and shrimp, or neither. Chicken allergies run rampant in my fam, but if you do not want to offer a chouce, then I would go chicken. Does your veg option have to be silent? That could be the choice, chicken or veg. If not, then I like the idea of having lamb as the second choice. People have such wildly different palates that they may not care for the chicken option.
I think so long you do a combo meal you should be fine. Something like chicken and a petite steak shouldnot be terribly expensive. I would anyway of any kinda sea food combo however because some of your guests might be allergic
Wow, thanks for all the feedback! I wish we could do an actual vegetarian option as the second option, because usual vegetarian options are cheaper and I think they are often just as if not more so appetizing then the meat options, but my caterer doesn't offer a stated vegetarian option. I think they must not want too many people picking a cheaper option.
FI is definitely for offering the salmon as a second choice because he is partial to that (although I don't know if he'd pick it over chicken) and it's not much more expensive than chicken.
I am partial to the idea of doing lamb though just because certain people in FI's family are partial to it. Last Thanksgiving his godfather actual cooked lamb and brought it because he likes it better than turkey.
Many of the more formal weddings I have attended in recent years have not offered a meal choice but instead offered a plated dinner featuring a combination of a filet of beef and some sort of shellfish, such as shrimp or crab, along with potato and vegetable accompaniments.
I chose to do this as well, and, although it was very expensive, it was an elegant and delicious meal that we and our guests loved. People kept raving about the food at our wedding! We also offered a childrens' combination plate of chicken tenders, curly fries, macaroni and cheese, along with a fruit plate instead of a salad.
We had 148 people who responded "yes" to our reception, and I already knew that some of them were allergic to or otherwise did not like seafood and some could not eat beef. I created specially coded translucent cards that I inserted into these guests' escort cards along with their table numbers so that servers would know to give these guests two beef filets or two crabcakes instead, accordingly.
We did not include our actual menu on our wedding website. However, we did have a line asking guests to e-mail us or handwrite a note on their response cards if they were allergic to seafood, could not eat beef, or required a vegetarian entree. Although no one actually contacted us regarding this, I did discover though someone else that one of my guests needed a vegetarian entree, and so I inserted a special card in his escort-card envelope to indicate a vegetarian meal. I did the same thing for the children's meals. (For the few young teens involved, I contacted their mothers to ask if they thought their children would prefer the adult meals or the children's meals.)
To me, this process was SO much simpler than providing a choice of entree options and having to decipher response cards on which a family of five was trying to indicate who wanted which entree. Our response cards simply had an M._____________________ followed by ______ will attend and ______ unable to attend, along with the respond by date.
(ETA: I should note that I contacted the friend whose husband is a vegetarian to confirm this with her and to see if her husband would like the vegetarian option that we had selected.)
I'd be okay as long as there's a vegetarian option and I knew it was available. Not sure what silent option means?
I think it would be ok. As long as you have the silent veggie option, go for it!
We wanted to offer a choice, but our venue contract only allowed us to choose one option for each course (and offered silent veggie options, of course). We were a bit worried about how the lack of choice would go over, but nearly a year later people are STILL raving about the food (even the extremely picky eaters), so it worked out for us.
I think it is okay, but not ideal, I guess. Personally, I know a lot of people don't eat lamb, fish or red meat, so offering a chicken or vegetarian option might be a nice compromise for allergies or food restrictions.
@GroovyHippieChick: A silent vegetarian option means it is not advertised but it is available upon request. I guess a lot of caterers do this. I think it's because they don't want to actually prepare a vegetarian meal unless someone is actually a vegetarian, because they're the ones that would go to the trouble to ask for it. I'm not crazy over it personally, because I would prefer to actually advertise it in case someone didn't know and felt uncomfortable asking.
I've been a few weddings with no meal choice. Usually there is a pasta option for the vegetarians and a combination of chicken/beef or just beef entree. I really like having a choice but only with full description (I'm amazed people can choose between chicken and beef without knowing how they are prepared!)
No meal choices if typcial for Asian weddings mainly because everything is done family style with like anywhere between 8-10 courses.
Personally not having a meal choice will be fine with me since that is the only things I have encountered either the typical Asian banquet or a buffet. But if it is chicken or seafood I am fine with it since I am also not a red meat eater.
At mine we had 1 regular meal choice, which had both chicken and beef on the plate. We offered a vegetarian option for people who asked or rsvped online (meal choice wasn't an option with the paper invitations I got). Just make sure theres an option for vegetarians and you're fine.
I always thought the idea of no choice was terrible, have never been to a wedding without a choice.
However our last work xmas party was held at a very popular wedding venue and they only had one choice for our meal (other than vege), and the food was good and as far as im aware we all loved our meal and had no issue with not having a choice, I never even heard it meantioned afterwards. It worked well, they just brought out the food, it was all at the same time.
So I dont think it would be a problem.
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Has anyone ever been to a wedding with no meal choice at all? My sister said she had gone to a few years ago but hasn't seen any in a long time.
We have several options for our meals - plated, buffet and family style.
The buffet is basically out - FI and mom both aren't crazy over the idea. The plated dinners are the preferred I think, because most of them are cheaper than family style (which is a plus for me) and they're my mom's preference. Our caterer said she will provide us with family style sides because she knows us for no extra charge.
The plated dinners that seem more reasonably priced to me are Roasted Statler Chicken with Sage Stuffing, Roasted Salmon with Lemon & Wine Caper Sauce, Herb Crusted Baby Lamb Chops and Herb Crusted Boneless Prime Rib w/ AuJus.
I was originally going to have a choice between chicken and prime rib. That seems to be pretty popular at the weddings I've been to. However, the prime rib is $12 more per person than the chicken. And it looks like we could have the possibility of have up to 20 or so more people than we expected so I am afraid if everyone were to get the prime rib it would be more expensive than we were counting on.
What are your thoughts on having no choice? Have you been to many weddings where that happened and what were your feelings on it?
My MOH thinks as long as it's something mainstream like chicken or beef and not say fish or pork then it's not a big deal. We will have a silent vegetarian option. My other thought was to offer the lamb as a second choice because FI's family is Greek so they love it, I don't think as many people will pick lamb and it's not as expensive as the prime rib.