Thoughts on prenups…

posted 3 years ago in Legal
Post # 3
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Merinda1994:  We are both poor so yeah lol. But in the case he asked me for one I miiiiiight be more sadden than offended, for the reasons you stated before.

It would seriously be a red flag for me, not because I would want his money but because I would feel like he cares more about his stuff than about me. But that is my opinion, so whatevs. hehe

Post # 4
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Merinda1994:  It wouldn’t bother me at all. We have both been married before , so not only did we do prenups, we also updated our wills, Power of Attorney and representative documents rigt after we got married.

I bought  my condo and paid off the mortage withut his help. I want to ensure that it goes to my children should I die first. He has equal assets which rightfully should go to his children.

It’s so silly to feel threatened by a prenup. It’s so much easier to decide what you want t do with your assets while you are getting along great and communicating well. This is not such an easy task if the marriage has fallen apart and you can’t communicate politley.

Post # 5
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Merinda1994:  If he actually had assets to protect I would definitely sign one. I might be a little bit hurt/sad but it wouldn’t raise any red flags and I wouldn’t be angry.

Most people don’t go into marriage thinking they will get divorced but the divorce stats are a little overwhelming!

Post # 6
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’d be for signing one, but my FI is absolutely against it. But I had read a story in Cosmo, the write had gotten a divorce, and she didn’t think her about to be ex would ask for Spousal Support, but he did. And this lady was very well off at the time of their divorce (they were very broke and didn’t have much at the time of their wedding…), so she has to pay him thousands a month. She totally regrets not signing one.

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I can totally understand wanting your partner to sign one! ESPECIALLY if you have (a) kid(s) from previous relationship(s) (Gotta protect your kid(s)!)

But if you’re 25 and your DH is 25 and you have 5k each in college debt and NO assets between you, it skeeves me out when someone wants a prenup!

Post # 8
Member
8705 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As long as the prenup covers both parties, I see no problem with them.

Post # 9
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think that it’s naive to think that things won’t go downhill super fast in the event one partner no longer wants to be married. If one or both of you have assets that you accrued before the marriage it is important to protect yourself, especially if you have children from a previous relationship. I feel I worked hard my whole life as a single parent and my son should be taken care of in the event something happens to me. I had many failed relationships before my one and only marriage so I know that we may be in love and trusting today but it could turn into something entirely different years from now. It’s sad but true. We have a co ownership agreement on our home, as one of us made the full down payment. 

Post # 10
Member
7397 posts
Busy Beekeeper

We have a prenup. Sometimes it is about more than just assest you have now and more about what assests you might have in the future especially by inheritance.

 

Post # 11
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

If they have something to protect, like family wealth or assets, then YES! If I had inheritance or business I wanted to pass down to my kids(even though I don’t have any, it wouldn’t matter how awesome their SO was or how in love they are, I’d STRONGLY encourage them to do a prenup. Better to be safe, divorce is a terrible thing and can sometimes bring out the worst in people. Plus a prenup done properly protects both parties, which would be helpful since the statistic for women plunged into poverty after divorce is rather high. 

If they didn’t have anything to protect coming into the marriage? I’d be very suspicious a of marrying them/signing one. I’d question why they would want to protect something they don’t have.

Post # 12
Member
3935 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Merinda1994:   I was married before, and had a prenup and will have one for my upcoming marriage as well.   A prenup gives you and your FI the ability *if* you divorce, to decide how property, money, and other assets will be divided up.   Otherwise you are subject to the marriage laws of your state and how a judge interprets those laws.    
  

Post # 13
Member
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think it’s a good idea to get one, but I’ve heard that courts don’t always honour them.

Post # 14
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@raziel1687:  +1. I read that same article. It was the screenwriter for Legally Blonde. Because of that story I am absolutely considering something to save both our butts even though we don’t have much as of yet.  

Post # 15
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Merinda1994:  I view prenups the same way I do insurance. I mean, do I buy insurance hoping I will crash my car or get sick or my house will burn down?! Heck no!! But I acknowledge that bad things happen sometimes that are out of my control. and I want to make things as easy as possible if they do. 

Post # 16
Member
8018 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Personally I would never marry someone who felt it neccessary to craft an easy exit plan. You want to divorce me, you better believe it’ll be a long painful expensive process. 

Dont believe I would treat you fairly in a divorce? Then I guess you shouldn’t marry me. 

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