Thoughts on vow renewals… the ceremony/reception I never had

posted 4 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 4
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My husband and I are renewing our vows for our fifth. It will be a very intimate yet upscale event. We are booking a chapel which comes with packages. The packages include alcohol, cake, food, ceremony, photography and flowers.  We will also have invitations and favors. I am wearing a wedding dress so that my mother can see me in one (We eloped the first time.) and my husband is wearing a tux because he wore a suit the first time. I will not have attendants. We are doing this because our elopement was awful and there were a lot of hurt feelings on my side of the family.

While there is etiquette around vow renewals, you are can do whatever makes you happy. It also depends on the opinions of the people you care about the most. Look at your budget and then think of what kind of celebration you want. It will be much easier on your guests if your celebration is local. Feel free to put your girls in your vow renewal.

http://www.idostill.com/ This is an excellent website. Happy planning! PM me if you like.

I have seen some vow renewals on youtube and some couples go ALL OUT. I have seen one vow renewal which resembled a large wedding, complete with horse drawn carriage. That is too lavish for my taste, but every woman is different.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think the “rules” are no attendants and no registry. Everything else is game

Post # 6
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I agree with no attendants and no registry, but also no pre-wedding parties.  You don’t need showered and you aren’t a bachelorette.  

We’re doing ours on our fourth anniversary (we cancelled our wedding when our daughter had urgent surgery and ended up at the courthouse in jeans).  It’ll be a small affair but I’m wearing a wedding dress and we’re definitely going the luxury route.  It’ll be a destination wedding for everyone as well.

Post # 7
Hostess
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I am from Australia where I think vow renewals aren’t really done. However I think its a lovely way to continue that loving feeling you have for each other on the wedding day. On reality TV shows I have watched and stuff some peopl do seem to go all out.

I would love to renew my vows with my new hubby after 5 to 10 years and the way I would do it would be a very simple ceremony. The reason for that though is because we got married in a church which was something I wasn’t very keen on, so I would prefer to do it in a way that makes me happy this time around rather than compromising.

So my advice to you is to do whatever you want in terms of a ceremony! When we do renew our vows it definitely won’t be with a priest. I know also that I would probably only invite our immediate family and closest friends and probably just go out for dinner rather than having another reception. This is what suits me and my husband (yes we have already discussed it when we aren’t even married a year lol) I would most likely get a nice new dress (something simple) and it would be just a nice way to reavow our love 🙂

 

Post # 8
Hostess
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Whoops double post sorry!

Post # 9
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

For vow renewals you don’t treat them as if its your first time — so no pre-wedding parties, no registries, no “firsts” (first dance, father/dance, etc. are a no). Otherwise you can have your party….

Post # 10
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@classyashley:  

I will be dancing with my husband and my father for pictures, but not announcing the dances as firsts.

Post # 11
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We to are going to be renewing our vows.  With health issues and such we were unable to have family and most friends at our wedding so we are going to do it all over again. I think you should do whatever makes you happy:)  My friends and family all want to do the showers and the bachorlette parties for me to;) They said it was something they missed being able to do with me.  If you get a chance to do something again go ahead and enjoy it.  Make it the best memories you can.

Post # 12
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

The only anniveraries where you have a big party that I understand would be a 50th.  You’ve been married 5 year? 8 years? 15 years? great, go out to dinner or have a trip as a couple or with your children.  Why do I need to be there?

Weddings have gotten out of hand, they are fun and if you can afford it go for it.  But if you need/want to get married but can’t afford a big wedding at the same time I do not like the idea of having a “do-over” years later.

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I missed out on a wedding because it all had to be super fast. For us, there was never even a time of engagement. My husband is in the military and he only had a few days of leave before he had to head back to his duty station in Kansas. He was about to deploy and neither one of us thought it would be a good idea to wait until he got back for multiple reasons. We are going to do everything the same way as it should be done almost like we never got married in the first place except no registry and no before parties. I still plan on having my sister and two best friends by my side while re do our vows. we will have a reception as well and my father will give me away because he never had the chance to. I honestly think if you want a big ol’ wedding because you missed out the first time around then you should do it. There should be no rules about how we show love or commitment. do whatever YOU want because I’m sure all of your friends and family want you to do what makes you happy regardless of the “proper” way to do things. 

Post # 13
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

pixiecat :  what if 10 years ago what you wanted was small and no dress but as time passed you simply regret it. You can’t have a do over? Renew vows and have your fairy tale? 

Leave a comment


Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors