Post # 1
I’ve been randomly lurking (and occassionally posting) under a different name – I decided to use a random, generic username until I felt it was right for me to be on the waiting list. Well, I had a beautiful, amazingly encouraging talk with the SO this weekend and thus I’ve finally gone and created my officially waiting username and asked to be added to the list.
I’m into many different hobbies (I’m more craft than art), and I’ve always had the dream of knitting a beautiful lace shawl for my wedding. It feels weird to be thinking about crafting for a wedding that’s not officially happening yet, but the particular shawl I have in mind takes OVER A MILE OF YARN. Definitely not something I could finish in a year, and two years would probably be pushing it.
So, now that I am officially waiting, I wanted to ask what your thoughts were on wedding prep while waiting? Have you started anything yet?
Post # 3
Do it. As long as you’re not actually booking anything or putting any deposits down, it’s not going to hurt to get ahead on DIY or research.
Post # 4
I’m on the other side – I think you should wait until you’re officially engaged, not so much for the reason that things can go sour, but because it’ll make everything more official and fun to do once you’re actually engaged.
Post # 5
I am pretty much waiting for my SO to pay off the ring and ask me, but we already have a date set and are figuring out what we want. But I’m also the planner and he isn’t. To each their own!
Post # 6
Its just knitting! I think that’s totally ok. Like @EffieTrinket said, I just wouldn’t put down a deposit on anything.
Post # 7
Usually I would say to wait until it is official, but a shawl that will take that much time to make is an exception to me. Because if for some reason it doesn’t happen, you can still use it. Hold off on everything else though.
Post # 8
@EffieTrinket: Oh yeah, definitely no deposits or anything – things that require a deposit would be discussed with the man first!
@kariface: I totally agree, I’m just unsure my furiously knitting hands can knit fast enough. I’ve been thinking about starting it for months since I know it will pretty much take forever. There’s always lowering my expectations on said fancy lace shawl, though. Would be less stress overall.
Post # 9
I think the wedding prep you are talking about and in your case is different. Go ahead and knit domestic diva!!!!!!! I think the difference for you is that you dreamed of wearing this shawl regardless of who you marry. It’s for YOU, as a bride. And not for the TWO of you. I think that’s lovely.
IMHO there are 2 different kinds of “waiting bees” and I wish they could differentiate somehow.
- WB1 has had a specific timeline conversation with her SO. They have verbally committed to becoming engaged and discussed specific elements fo their wedding – location, budget etc. For *whatever reason* they are *waiting* to become engaged until a specific timeline. For those bees, I say planning some elements is fine.
- WB2 is *waiting to find out if she is the one*. There have not been specific conversations with her SO about the future or timelines and although SHE may have indicated SHE wants to get married she isn’t sure he wants to get married (or may not be sure he wants to marry her). In some cases there have been conversations but they are very vague and there are no concrete details… with much usage of the beloved word “soon”. I would not recommend that this *waiting bee* plans anything until they solidify their plans a bit more.
That’s just my $0.02 though.
Post # 10
@DomesticDiva: If it’s just a shawl, go for it! If it’s obsessively researching details on venues and vendors, wait!
Post # 11
@3xaCharm: Thank you – that’s a great way to look at it! Yes, this is definitely something I’ve imagined wearing for myself as a bride rather than something I would make for the two of us.
Post # 12
I think tentative plans, research and crafts are a-ok. (Maybe just because that’s what I’m doing) Some things take time! Plus how relaxed and calm are you going to be through the engagement knowing you don’t have to run around like a chicken with it’s head cut off trying to do everything? And knowing what you want and what your plans are as a couple makes dealing with things (family expectations, budget, scheduling) sooo much easier once you announce your engagement. I wouldn’t put down deposits yet, just because dates might need to change to make sure important guests are able to be there etc.
This shawl sounds amazing! Do you have a picture of the pattern?
Post # 13
I’m planning our wedding and we’re not ‘officially’ engaged yet. I’ve been promised a ring by the end of the year (we’ll see if that happens haha). We’ve just decided that we’re getting married and are starting to make the plans anyways. We’ve even set our date before getting engaged. I guess we’re doing things a little backwards lol.
The ring can come later on, it’s not the most important thing to me. If having a little extra cash for the wedding means no real engagement I’m happy with that. Some people think I’m getting ahead of myself but these people clearly don’t know us very well.
Actually, I think the only thing about being formally engaged is that people take you a little more seriously. I don’t think people believe we’re actually getting married because we don’t have a ring.
Post # 14
I’ve actually been wondering about this too– I want to make my own wedding dress, embellished with lots of small handmade silk flowers. The flowers are probably going to take me forever to make, so I’ve been thinking of starting them soon– when a proposal is probably still a year or two away. I’d probably have to work on them when I’m staying at school, rather than at home, so my SO wouldn’t see and ask what I was up to, though!
I say, go ahead with it– knitting lace takes SO much time! Have fun! I’d love to see a picture of the pattern too, if you want to share (don’t worry, I won’t steal your idea– I don’t have the patience to knit lace). 🙂
Post # 15
if i had something that i knew would take THAT long, i’d get started as soon as i knew the ring was coming. i think my biggest projects will be specific to the wedding so i’ll need to wait to start (invites, placecards, maybe favors, bridesmaid’s gifts). but i would start now if i could bc the energy is there!
Post # 16
@Sarahkay_3: It is kind of amazing. (LOL) Though, the more I look at it, the more I’m scared of it. It’s design cousin that I wanted to knit at first takes half the yarn! Maybe the one I like the best turns out huge? Anyway, here it is:
I think my favorite part is the leaves/flowers/arches right inside the border (which coincidentally is how this shawl got designed – someone on Ravelry shared a photo of an antique shawl and a bunch of people wrote this pattern together!)
I have another 3 I’m considering, in case I decide I can’t stomach this one…which is starting to be a distinct possbility. 😛
@Creiddylad: I’m also a seamstress, and was totally pondering making my own gown. When I talked to my sister today about the talk me and SO had, she said “No, don’t do it” right away. LOL. When the time comes, I probably will just buy, but part of me is still also thinking about sewing my own…