Post # 1
I have a very small wedding of 50 people. I don’t speak to my immediate family because of child abuse from my stepdad growing up. I’m very close to my FI’s parents and I was just informed 3 days before the wedding his sister and his mother would not be attending. So that leaves just my father in law as my FI’s best man.
His sister was supposed to walk me down the aisle, so now I will probably walk down by myself.
His sister had surgery for benign cysts a week before the wedding and says she can’t travel on a plane now. My mother in law can’t come because her mother is old and may possibly pass soon and she wants to be there next to her, so I understand on that level that she cannot come. We requested if she could just come for the day, but that is not happening.
It’s really unfortunate that all this is happening and in hindsight, I wish I would’ve gotten married at a different date or just eloped like his parents were pushing us to do. The thing is, from the beginning, I was the only person who wanted to have a ceremony. My fiance does not really care about a big ceremony.
This is the one selfish thing I wanted for myself, to give myself a little bit of “normal” since I never really had a normal upbringing. I feel like such a loser who will have no family on the wedding. I feel like I’ve spent all this money and all this time just to throw a big party for my friends. I’m trying really hard to just get over it and continue on planning, but I don’t even care anymore. I wish I could call the whole thing off.
Post # 3
@seiyaodango: I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It sucks that your own family doesn’t deserve to be there and your FI’s family can’t be there! But I wouldn’t say you are a loser or that having the wedding is a waste. Our friends are the family we get to choose. You have all those friends coming who love you, not because they have to but because you deserve their love. They want to celebrate with you!
Post # 4
@seiyaodango: I’m really sorry to hear that. I don’t think it is selfish to want a ceremony – millions of people have ceremonies! It sucks that people are bailing on you, but you should just focus on the fact that you are marrying the love of your life and about to start a new chapter with him. Also it’s really nice to hear you have a good relationship with his family, that helps make up for your own family’s shortcomings. I wish you all the best, and I hope that you feel better.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Can someone else walk you? My mom didn’t want to give me away at first and my dad is deceased. I asked my nephew to give me away. Maybe someone close to you?
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I know this is going to sound crazy, but is there any way your FIL can walk you down the aisle and THEN be the best man? You are close to them, and to me it sounds really sweet, if a bit unconventional.
Post # 7
There is no reason why your FI can not walk you down the aisle, then assume his position next to his best man. Stop apologizing – you deserve this ceremony and although the circumstances with his family sucks, please try to have a beautiful day.
Post # 8
@seiyaodango: I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Maybe ask your FIL to walk you down, or perhaps you have a very close friend? Hell, I’d walk you down the aisle if you want me to!
Post # 9
@seiyaodango: Look on the bright side: you will still have a wedding with 50 of your friends!
It’s unfortunate your fiance’s sister and mother can’t attend, but I’ve got to say that their reasons are understandable.
Post # 10
@seiyaodango: Happy Wedding Day! I hope it is the most amazing, spectacular day ever for you. I hope you are so busy and full of happiness with the people who care about you whoever they are that you don’t have time to give it a second thought. You have worked too hard for your special day not to enjoy it to the fullest. This day is about you and your fiance and the beginning of a new family and a long and joyful life together. Please update and show pics as soon as possible!
Post # 11
@seiyaodango: Hey girl. YOU DO THIS PARTY. Sucky family really hurts, and self involved family can really hurt too. If you can reorient the wedding in your own mind and approach as a really fun celebration for you and your partner, that’s what counts. The sooner in life that we can learn to value our actions and desires for the outcome they have on our own everyday lives (like you and your FH) that’s what you’ll carry with you.
You have nothing to be ashamed of: you’re so freakin sweet that you have 50 friends who want to come to your wedding: they CHOSE you. Unlike family who you can’t choose.
I’ve had some similar feelings and problems with my side of the family for our wedding. Maybe you’re like me and have this idea that your wedding day is supposed to be this triumphant day when you can exhale, feel blissfully happy, and reach some sort of closure. The thing is: if you hold your real life and your real self to this idea–you’ll probably be so darn anxious you won’t enjoy anything.
You’re wedding day is a really nice gathering for a lot of nice, although incredibly flawed, people to come together for the start of your new life. No party or ceremony is going to fix the giant gaping sad parts of our lives, but it can still be one of the most meaningful, memorable, and enjoyable days we have.
Post # 12
@seiyaodango: Remember, friends are the family you CHOOSE. So rock that wedding, girl!
Post # 13
Thank you for all your support bees! It was a beautiful ceremony and I felt the love from everyone present. It was happy day to marry the man I love.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@seiyaodango: Awwww I’m lso gad everything worked out! Your situation sounds so tough. It’s so good to see you had a lovely wedding, even though someone people were not in attendance!
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@seiyaodango: Awwww I’m so gad everything worked out! Your situation sounds so tough. It’s so good to see you had a lovely wedding, even though someone people were not in attendance!