Post # 1
Two of my best friends don’t know each other and they both asked me to be in there wedding. I would love nothing more than to be in both of their weddings, but it’s impossible.
One lives three hours away and we have been best friends since were sixteen/seventeen, where as the other I see every day and work with but only have become close over the last few months.
Heres the thing… My wedding is in August and they are both in it.
Their weddings are Sept 15 & Sept 16th (same year) – four hours away from each other and I’m strapped. I have no idea what to do. I’m not really involved in the planning of the distanced friend’s wedding and the one that lives close is with me all the way. We plan, paint and design everything together. Honestly, we’ll probably end up sharing decorations are tastes are so similiar.
I don’t want to back out on either of them, but how wrong is it to have both of them in my wedding and than back out one of them. There is no possible way I can plan my wedding, and help with both of theirs. It’s just not possible, especially when one lives hours away.
I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to seem selfish. Am I being selfish?
Post # 3
Do both! You totally could pull it off and youll be a hero forever.
Post # 4
@nicholeee: Why can’t you be in both of their weddings? Technically as a bridesmaid, all you have to do is show up on the day of the wedding. A 4 hour drive is definitely do-able, just requires some getting up early and probably being tired.
I would explain to both of them about one anothers weddings, and that they both mean so much to you, so you may be unavailable for all activities (like the rehearsal dinner of the one on the 16th) but want to be there for both of them. I don’t see why you can’t help them plan things beforehand (decor, etc.).
If you have to back out of being a bridesmaid, there’s no reason why you can’t be a guest. If you have to back out of one of them, I would choose whoever’s wedding you knew about second (who set their date second?). That seems to me to be the only fair way to do it.
Post # 5
I’d see if the wedding rehearsal on the 16th is one you can skip, otherwise, you can’t be in both weddings.
If there is a choice to be made, I would honor the commitment to the person who asked you first and adjust your plans according to making sure you are fully committed to it.
Otherwise, you may be able to politely decline bridesmaidship and be a guest at each wedding.
Post # 6
@nicholeee: It can be done. I went to a Saturday wedding in NEBRASKA where one of the bridesmaids flew in that morning because she was a bridesmaid in another wedding the night before in Seattle. She just made it but both friends were super important to her.
This doesn’t mean you have to do it, I wouldn’t! But if you think you would regret it – just try to do it. You might be happy and will be proud of yourself.