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People SERIOUSLY push this off. I'm not even kidding you. We did online RSVP, email, and gave out a phone number and the week of the RSVP deadline is when we got most of them back. About 20 ppl didn't RSVP. I gave them a few more days--a few more trickled in, then I gave my MIL the list and she called them all up. Don't stress just yet. I don't know WHY people postpone (i always drop it in the mail that day, then put it on my calendar!) but they do
@ejs4y8: I really am trying not to stress about it. It is hard though because I have always been one to immediately fill out the RSVP and get it in the mail. It is like "Hey, I was nice enough to do this for your wedding, what the heck?" My mom has been hearing through the grapevine that relatives have been booking flights and hotel rooms. I'm thinking well that is great, but who is coming and are they bringing any guests? Even my own bridal party is being flaky (some of them are single, so I would prefer to know if they are bringing dates...
Yeah - we're at 10 days until my RSVP deadline and are still missing a TON of ours (including lots of wedding party so, like you, don't know if they're bring a date). I'm really not worried - people are lazy. Yes, its kind or rude to sit around on it until the last possible second but we do kind of give them that ability .... they have no obligation to mail it until the deadline we set.
I'm sure you'll have some (like just about everyone else does) that never mail them back and you have to call, but I'm sure in the next three weeks (especially the last one) you'll get the majority of your RSVPs in.
How long before the rsvp deadline did you send out your invites?
I know it's frustrating. I think sometimes when a "task" is made so convenient for people they think "Oh I have plenty of time to do this! Great!" And then it sits....and sits. I used to do this with wedding RSVP's until I became a bride. Now I get them back in the mail the same day because I know the pain.
You still have a lot of time though...try to put your mind off it for a week or so. :)
@DianaMarie: I sent out my invites in early May...so a little over two months for them to respond? I think most people have forgotten by now. I wasn't going to send the invites out until June, but I had about 30 calls in a couple weeks asking where the invites were, so I mailed them out. Ironically, only one of those 30 callers has RSVPed. *Sigh*
@FutureKMM: Yeah I am just stressing about the thought of have to call over 70 people to say "Hey...how's it going? Oh by the way...did you hear we are getting married?" :-)
@Edina: You are probably right, but my new caterer is on my butt to get him decent numbers to work with. Right now I'm like "I don't know...maybe 120 adults and 30 kids? I really don't know" and he said "Well that isn't good enough. You need to give me your final numbers two weeks before the wedding, but if they are off by 10 adults I'm not going ot be happy." :-/
Yeah, it could be that people have just forgotten, unfortunatly. Or since there was a lot of time until it was due back to you they still feel like they have "loads of time" ya know? Just give it a few more weeks then start making phone calls. Hopefully they start pouring in very soon!
Our wedding is this weekend, and I would say that there are 10-12 that we NEVER got back. We sent out 105. At our deadline, we had around 45 of them back. It's unfortunate, but it happens!
I gave our guests a week to trickle them in, then I started having people chase them down.
We still have so many out and our deadline was Monday. I know many of the people that haven't responded are coming. Most of them are my family! People just don't realize how important RSVPs are. I didn't until now. Don't sweat it. You still have time. 
Our RSVP date was 3 weeks ago and I still have about 25 people that have not sent them back. We got some late ones; I forgot, I lost it, I had to wait for my call schedule. You have some time so don't stress until a few days after the RSVP date. The caterer sounds a bit tough. You give them the best estimate you can and then final numbers 2 weeks before. They shouldn't be mad if you are off by 10 people!
I know how much of a frustrating thing it is! We're 2 weeks away from our deadline and still have a TON of RSVP's out. I don't understand why people wait till the last minute! SO frustrating!!
Hang in there... it will all work out :]
People are totally rude! On our deadline day, only about 50% have responded. It took at least a week for the others to come in or for us to track them down.
*raises hand* I am guilty of this just recently. My fiance is a groomsmen, and it is an OOT wedding, but with our own wedding coming up I can't take any time off to go to the OOT wedding. We've been trying to figure out if I'll be able to come (seeing if I can get a ride with someone leaving the city the night before).
But it totally slipped my mind that we still had to send in the RSVP, so I put the RSVP (with a note apologizing) in the mail the day before the deadline.
When I chose my RSVP deadline, I made it a week or so earlier, so that I'd have time to call the people who will put it in the mail the day of the deadline.
Try not too stress too much, I wouldn't say they're rude ... it is still 3 weeks before the deadline.
We invited 180 something people and a week after our deadline, we still had 120 out. We addressed it, we stamped it, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!?!? We even got an RSVP card at the wedding.
RSVP's are just something everyone has to go through. Give it some time and then a couple of days after the deadline start hounding people.
Oh I don't know about them being rude....just frustrating!!! Hahahaha! I'm in a better mood about it today. Throughout this "down to the wire" planning I've been singing "Que Sera Sera" to myself quite frequently to calm down. ;-)
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I have three weeks until my RSVP deadline and I have gotten a total of 7 back. 7...OUT OF 80! Really, I am disappointed at this point. I know people say they get a rush right before the deadline...but really? I did online RSVPing and postcard RSVPs, so I made it as convenient as possible. First I was panicked nobody got their invites...but so far everybody said they have gotten them.
My whole deal with changing caterers and stuff has just made me wish I had a better idea of how many people are actually coming. All of my friends think it is weird I don't have more RSVPs back since they only had like 20 invites unaccounted for by now. This is just a vent, but it really frustrates me.