(Closed) Threw a bridal shower. Forgot to invite someone!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would definately write her a letter. I would state it something like,

 “Your presense was missed at the shower held on Saturday. It was after we noted your absense that a mistake was discovered on the invite list. With our sincerest apologies, we are very excited to see you at the wedding.”

 

 

Post # 4
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I disagree with the PP, in the sense that I’m not a fan of letters. Too cold and impersonal. She was left off the list because you (the 4 BMs) messed up. She deserves an apology in person. Phone her and apologise.

As for telling T… well T obviously knew A wasn’t there. In my opinion, the “in confidence” part is the crying, not that she wasn’t there. You should definitely tell T that you made a mistake and forgot to invite A.

Post # 5
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

 I think a nicely worded apologetic note would be fine.  But you definitely should not ignore the fact that she was missed… It could make for an awkward moment at the wedding!

Post # 6
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@paula1248:  Agreed. A phone call would be better.

Post # 7
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@paula1248:  i agree that a letter isnt the way to go. whilst in some cases its better to write things in a formal way, things like “your presence was missed” sounds alittle cold to me. i think a phone call is 1000% better, or if for some reason not possible id prefer a less formal friendlier sounding note

Post # 9
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsJenBee:  In that case I think you should speak to T first. Again, nothing wrong with telling T (except the crying part), because it’s hardly a state secret that A wasn’t at the shower.

I think then it is T’s place to apologise because she didn’t include A on the list. But if you think you should have caught it, it wouldn’t hurt for you to apologise too 🙂 I’d be tempted to do it before the next church service; if it’s like my church it’s too easy to miss them at church itself.

Post # 10
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@MrsJenBee:  I would call her and say that you are sorry and it was not because of any reason apart from you thought someone else had invited her or something like that.

Edit: Agree about doing it the earlier the better, she may avoid you at church, or you may not see her and meanwhile she is still upset.  It not actually your fault if she was left off the list but you can make it better by apologising 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Call, apologize profusely, and make sure the bride knows she wasn’t there because she wasn’t invited.

Honestly, if my mom and SIL or sister were invited to a bridal shower of someone we are all close to, I would’ve had someone ask about my lack of invite. I don’t care if that’s rude. Sometimes you can just tell when it’s an oversight…

Post # 12
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Definitely call her.

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Call A apologize for the mix up. Then speak with T about her not being on the invite list, we tend to have alot running through our minds and mistakes happen.

Post # 15
Member
12827 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d definitely call and apologize.  Take ownership of the mistake and say it was in no way meant to be a slight to her, and that you wish you could go back and fix it.  Just be very apologetic and hopefully she’ll be okay!

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