Post # 1
My SO and I got engaged a few months ago and so far no definite plans have been made. The reason for this is we are both not really into huge weddings. We want something small, we dislike catering halls and we both aren’t into dancing.
Recently we have cooked up an idea to have a “Surprise Wedding”, and here is how it would work.
We have a huge trip planned for the end of this summer to Europe, we will be spending 6 weeks there. We will have my Sister send out emails and invitations to a surprise going away party a week before we leave for Europe. SO and I will act ignorant to it, and the day of, we will get in my dress and his tux and go to City Hall to get married. Then we will go to the Resteraunt where the “surprise going away party” is being held and instead surprise everyone else with “We just got married and this is our reception!”
We will have the party at a very nice resteraunt, we plan on inviting 30-40 people and spending around 10,000.
What do you all think of this idea? I brought it to the hive because I need to bounce the idea off someone (since I can’t tell friends and family) and need to make sure I am thinking it all out.
Post # 4
I think this is a great idea 🙂 I think it’s really sweet and if it’s what you both want, then go for it!
Post # 5
personally i think it’s a neat idea but not for me. however, i would consider how your parents will feel not being included in the ceremony. only you know what your loved ones will feel/how they will react so i would consider that when making your decision. i think it would pretty cool as a regular guest though!
Post # 6
Sounds like fun, but you’d have to make sure everyone you want there got there, and didn’t brush it off because of other things (vs. make a real attempt to come because they know the real reason). But I think it sounds like a ton of fun!
Post # 7
I think it’s a great idea! I was considering a surprise wedding for a little while there! Then too many people found out about it, and it just didn’t work….
To be honest, I think you’d be better off having the ceremony at the party, too, if you can arrange for a civil celebrant (or even try a venue very close to a church). Some friends and family may feel left out or upset at not being able to witness the ceremony, so you can start the surprise party and your sister then announces “Hey guys, PrisPooh and her fiance will be here soon, quiet!” Then you and your fiance walk in, dressed in all your wedding gear.
Post # 8
You know your families best, but I worry that they could feel unprepared or left out if they found out you’re already married and this is the reception. Your parents aren’t getting to see their own children’s wedding ceremony, which could be really sad for them. Also, there could be friends or family that wished they had a speech prepared or something special they wanted you to have on your wedding day (family heirloom type stuff).
For you, there may be other disappointments, like friends who say they’re coming but then are too tired to attend that night. When people don’t know it’s a wedding reception, they could make other plans or just “stop by” your party that night, not giving it the full priority it deserves because they don’t know it’s your wedding.
I think there’s a lot that could go wrong, and it may not end up as fun as you intended it to be. But if in your heart, you think everyone will love it, you gotta do what you think is best!
Post # 9
@PrisPooh: I looove the idea and wish I could pull something like this off myself, but some of my closest family who I would really want there (sister and her family) live across the country. I do agree with PP who brought up a good point about parents possibly being upset about not being included in the ceremony. Is there a way u could trick them into meeting you at the courthouse maybe?
Post # 10
I second the poster who said that if you’re going to do it, maybe do the ceremony there too, so everyone gets to see it.
How cool would it be when you walk in the room in a bridal gown and everyone figures out what’s going on…!
Post # 11
One of my good friends did this! Except they didn’t even tell people they were engaged. But they had been together for like 5 years, so everyone was waiting for the proposal. But then she invited everyone to a pot luck picnic in a park, and stressed that it was important, everyone just thought they would announce their engagement. Buuut nope. She invited her pastor, wore a flowy white dress, was surrounded by wild flowers, and everyone was stunned and crying during the ceremony. It was beautiful! 🙂 She made a awesome rustic arch way, and had seats for everyone, had a few tea lights in mason jars, and just had her sister stand in her wedding party. So sweet!
Post # 12
Hmm… I’m not sure I’d make a big effort to attend a “jack and jane are going on vacation for 6 weeks” going away party, so hopefully you’ll get good attendance without having to be totally obvious that it’s really important that people come.
I agree if you could possibly do the ceremony at the party as well that would be kind of nice. I know if I’d shown up to my reception and my parents didn’t even know I was getting married, my mom would cry. And that would be kind of a buzz kill.
Post # 13
@PrisPooh: Surprise wedding??? I guess it’s different , it could work out, if you didn’t want to include your friends or family, and i don’t blame ya lol. But if it is going to make you two happy then i would say go for it!!!
Post # 14
I think it’s a cute idea, but I’m liable to skip a going-away party (especially if only for a month) if it’s raining outside, or if I have cramps, or if The Walking Dead is on . . . But I wouldn’t skip a dear friend’s wedding reception for any of those reasons.
AND I’d feel really sad and (unjustifiably) huffy that I missed it because I didn’t know what was really going on.
That said, if you decide to proceed, I really think you should consider including your immediate families in the ceremony. You don’t have to tell them this early, but really think about how they would feel.
Best wishes no matter what you decide!
Post # 15
Post # 16
I recall seeing something similar to this a long time ago and I think it is SO cute!! I like what others have said to do the ceremony there in front of people, but of course it’s up to y’all and what you want. Also, I agree that you need to make sure people come and don’t blow it off to do something else, not realizing the importance of it. I can’t wait to get the recap on this!